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AIBU?

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Original poster

Inheritance to adopted child

181 replies

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 21:53

This is a very delicate/awkward post but I just need some advice.

My grandfather died 3 weeks ago, expected, a good age of 93, we were all with him. His will stipulates that his house/money goes to his 3 children, should any of them pass away before he did, the money that child was due to get goes to their children.

My dad passed away 3 years ago suddenly. I'm still grieving and will never get over it. However, my parents adopted me when I was 4 years old. My uncle (he's awful) has dropped hints that he will contest the will because I am not a biological child and I shouldn't get my father's share. My question is, will be have a case? The best of it is, I'm not bothered about the money, I have money and my OH has a good job and it won't be millions but still a good amount obviously, but it hurts more because he obviously doesn't see me as 'real' family? I mean that in itself just devastates me but what also bothers me is that I don't want him to get my dad's share either because he doesn't deserve it after what he has said about his own brothers daughter. Does it matter if I'm adopted?

OP posts:
Echobowels · 09/03/2025 21:12

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:16

Thank you all, you know when my dad passed away despite him being devastated as I know he did love him, one of the first things he said was 'well at least the will only gets split in half now' meaning himself and my auntie (he hadn't realized grandchildren were also in the will) he's so money orientated it makes me sick. But once this is done and the funeral is done he's basically out of my life, I find it more disrespectful to my dad then I do to myself.

That's a disgusting thing for him to have said.

OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. X

TriciaA1991 · 09/03/2025 22:39

@Pickleball1001 Am so sorry. This wouldn't be most grandparents view. They would be delighted their son had a child to love and would see you as THEIR grandchild. Sending love xx

Regretsmorethanafew · 09/03/2025 22:44

Samsonshairdresser · 08/03/2025 07:40

I think OP has the right to be upset and uncle is below contempt.

Out of interest, what would happen in this scenario: adopted child identifies/reunites with biological parent. If biological parent of adopted child dies without a will (or leaves estate “to my children”), does adopted child have a claim? Probably one for the courts rather than Mumsnet, but just curious.

Not a difficult question, no need for court, the answer is no. Adoption severs all legal relationships to bio family, and replaces it with legal relationships to adopted family. You do not inherit from bio family, unless specifically named as a beneficiary.

crockofshite · 09/03/2025 23:10

I'm pretty sure a will has to specify beneficiaries by name, address, DoB, rather than just 'children' or 'grandchildren'

Have you seen the will?

Regretsmorethanafew · 09/03/2025 23:26

crockofshite · 09/03/2025 23:10

I'm pretty sure a will has to specify beneficiaries by name, address, DoB, rather than just 'children' or 'grandchildren'

Have you seen the will?

You may be pretty sure, but you are wrong.

Laurmolonlabe · 09/03/2025 23:45

I'm assuming you were legally adopted, if so, your legal rights are identical to a biological child.
Your uncle can contest (anyone can under English law ), but his chances of success would be virtually zero.

CandidHedgehog · 10/03/2025 07:19

crockofshite · 09/03/2025 23:10

I'm pretty sure a will has to specify beneficiaries by name, address, DoB, rather than just 'children' or 'grandchildren'

Have you seen the will?

No, it doesn’t. Leaving money to ‘categories’ is fine.

It’s common with grandchildren if the children are at a stage of life where they are expanding their families - it means there is no risk of accidentally disinheriting the younger grandchildren because the will hasn’t been amended in time.

It does run the risk of an additional grandchild no one knows about popping up but you can always phrase it as ‘children born to my son Bob and his wife Marie’ if you want (though if I were Marie, I might be asking why my PIL think that’s necessary!)

JudgeMenthol · 10/03/2025 08:15

Owl55 · 09/03/2025 19:34

Surely your mum can get a copy of the will as presumably he left something to her too . You are legally entitled to anything your lovely dad left to you as a loved adopted daughter x evil uncle !

It's OP's grandads estate, OPs dad passed away a short time ago.

Ilovegrantnicholas · 10/03/2025 09:05

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:24

Yes exactly that, my dad was wonderful, a wonderful husband, dad and grandad as my two were only little at the time, god he was just so special. My uncle is a liar, a cheat and a greedy twat. Me and my mum often wonder how they were both from the same gene pool.

Show quote history

Oh my dear girl. I'm so sorry. My mum used to say " the trouble with your sister is that she thinks she fell down the wrong chimney"!! I'm a solicitor and I specialise in probate. People are vile when there is money at hand. My dear sister has made an application to court to have me removed as Executor. Charming! Just chug on with it and ignore your twitting uncle. Xxx

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 10/03/2025 09:05

In UK adopted children inherit. However they would not inherit from their biological family.

Your grandad wanted you to inherit so remember that!

TheaBrandt1 · 10/03/2025 09:26

Yes had a case where a woman had given her child up for adoption but wanted her to inherit anyway. She just needed to be named as the beneficiary in the will not be referred to as the clients child because she legally wasn’t.

NameChangex3 · 10/03/2025 09:39

This happened to my mum as she was adopted and when her father died, some of her siblings tried to contest it. She still got her share as she was legally adopted by her Dad and (maybe more specifically) she was named in the will - ie - He left it to his children "Mary, Tom, Ben and Susan". So it was not able to be contested that he had not meant her.

CorrectionCentre · 10/03/2025 12:59

Some of her siblings! Dear god, that's appalling. How incredibly hurtful for your DM @NameChangex3 😠

Wooky073 · 10/03/2025 15:31

Adoption is legally becoming your fathers child so I cannot see that he would have a case - its just bluster.

From my own experience / legal advice I received there are processes etc if he wanted to contest the will. Assuming probate is needed before distributing the assets from what you have said. Executors are meant to let others know about his death in case of debtors and notify of the death in a specific paper - but thats old fashioned and instead we used social media to notify of our fathers debt. There is i believe a 6 month period in which assets should not be distributed once probate is issued to allow for any debtors and for any other claims on the estate. This is when any debtors or contestations of wills should be made. If non recieved the executors distribute the assets as per the will. If he wanted to contest the will he would have to send a letter to the executors advising of his intention to do so within the time period. If he did this then the estate could not be distrubuted to any beneficiaries until the matter is settled. He would then need to take legal advice on the strength of his case and then either have a legal letter sent to the executors (they then get legal advice and respond and hopefully its settled), Or untimately he could take it to court which means he would need to be sure he had a good case (which it does not sound like he has). The risk for him, is that if he looses the case he may have to pay the other sides legal costs as well as his own for the court case. So that is a risk for him. Its a lot of effort and ultimately he would probably be headed off by getting legal advice who told him no chance of winning. So I honestly wouldnt worry. In any case its up to him to take the action. Ignore the words - only respond to actions.

I once knew someone who was fostered and received a small gift amount from a will from their foster parents, So they challenged the will via legal letters and did eventually get more. That person wasnt adopted - which was the argument of the other party. So do not stress and ignore him

Obviously if he does take action then legal advice is needed - probaby by the executors. I am not a solicitor btw just providing advice based on my own previous experiences. Seek legal advice if you are concerned.

Best !

Yogre · 10/03/2025 15:36

Your uncle is an absolute shitstain and if there is an afterlife I'm sure your father will be having words when he gets there!

I'm incandescent on your behalf as it's the last thing you need right now.

He won't get anywhere with it anyway.

Technonan · 10/03/2025 15:38

You have exactly the same legal inheritance rights as a 'birth' child. (Sorry to make this disticntion - I couldn't think of another way to word it.) I come from a family with several adopted children, and there is no legal distinction. Money left to 'the children' means adopted children too.

However, someone contesting the will could take money out of the estate. Sometimes, the courts divide costs which can be a fortune, so it might be a good idea to get legal advice, but tbh, I don't think your uncle's case has legs.

Diningtableornot · 10/03/2025 15:40

There’s no case. An adopted child is exactly the same.

RedToothBrush · 10/03/2025 15:48

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:06

Yes we live in England and my grandparents have always seen me as their own grandchild so I don't believe the word 'birth' child would come into it in the will but I can't be 100% as I haven't yet seen it it's just common knowledge that's how they did the will, obviously we wasn't expecting my dad to pass away before they did.

It's definitely not about the money but he's upset and angered me so much I'm desperate to not let him have a penny of my dads share.

You are the legal child of your parents. Unless there was something in the will that clearly excluded you, legally you would inherit. It's that simple.

Your grandfather would not need to state anything other than 'children'.

It's the legal status that matters not biological. Unless there is a clearly stated caveat to exclude.

Conversely in line with this if your parents had a biological child who had been adopted they would NOT inherit because legally they would no longer be your parents child.

Sometimesright · 10/03/2025 16:47

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 21:53

This is a very delicate/awkward post but I just need some advice.

My grandfather died 3 weeks ago, expected, a good age of 93, we were all with him. His will stipulates that his house/money goes to his 3 children, should any of them pass away before he did, the money that child was due to get goes to their children.

My dad passed away 3 years ago suddenly. I'm still grieving and will never get over it. However, my parents adopted me when I was 4 years old. My uncle (he's awful) has dropped hints that he will contest the will because I am not a biological child and I shouldn't get my father's share. My question is, will be have a case? The best of it is, I'm not bothered about the money, I have money and my OH has a good job and it won't be millions but still a good amount obviously, but it hurts more because he obviously doesn't see me as 'real' family? I mean that in itself just devastates me but what also bothers me is that I don't want him to get my dad's share either because he doesn't deserve it after what he has said about his own brothers daughter. Does it matter if I'm adopted?

Surely he can’t contest the will as legally you were your fathers daughter.
what an arse!

Original poster
harlacem0507 · 10/03/2025 18:49

Thank you all for your responses it's made me feel so much better, and not the money aspect of it just the validation that I AM my father's daughter no matter what that knobhead thinks!

Out of interest someone mentioned on here that the named people in the will must be actually 'named' so Bridget jones at no.1 cherry Street, I don't recall that ever being done with us grandkids 👀 think it just states children of Mark/Sarah/John etc (I just made them names up)

OP posts:
minnienono · 10/03/2025 18:53

As long as your dad legally adopted you through the courts then you get the money

Original poster
harlacem0507 · 10/03/2025 18:54

CandidHedgehog · 10/03/2025 07:19

No, it doesn’t. Leaving money to ‘categories’ is fine.

It’s common with grandchildren if the children are at a stage of life where they are expanding their families - it means there is no risk of accidentally disinheriting the younger grandchildren because the will hasn’t been amended in time.

It does run the risk of an additional grandchild no one knows about popping up but you can always phrase it as ‘children born to my son Bob and his wife Marie’ if you want (though if I were Marie, I might be asking why my PIL think that’s necessary!)

Edited
Show quote history

'born' 😬😬

OP posts:
CandidHedgehog · 10/03/2025 19:25

harlacem0507 · 10/03/2025 18:54

'born' 😬😬

Show quote history

Legally ‘born to’ includes ‘adopted by’. Or it could be phrased ‘the children of…’.

It’s usually irrelevant anyway since most people know how many children / grandchildren they have.

CandidHedgehog · 10/03/2025 19:25

harlacem0507 · 10/03/2025 18:49

Thank you all for your responses it's made me feel so much better, and not the money aspect of it just the validation that I AM my father's daughter no matter what that knobhead thinks!

Out of interest someone mentioned on here that the named people in the will must be actually 'named' so Bridget jones at no.1 cherry Street, I don't recall that ever being done with us grandkids 👀 think it just states children of Mark/Sarah/John etc (I just made them names up)

That’s because that poster is wrong.

AvidAunt · 10/03/2025 19:42

I'm so sorry for your losses, both your father and grandfather. Legally, your grandfather is entitled to leave his estate to whomever he'd like. Horrible attitude from your uncle. My favorite (I know we're not supposed to have favorites but this is an anonymous forum) niece is adopted and she will inherit much of my estate.