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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inheritance to adopted child

181 replies

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 21:53

This is a very delicate/awkward post but I just need some advice.

My grandfather died 3 weeks ago, expected, a good age of 93, we were all with him. His will stipulates that his house/money goes to his 3 children, should any of them pass away before he did, the money that child was due to get goes to their children.

My dad passed away 3 years ago suddenly. I'm still grieving and will never get over it. However, my parents adopted me when I was 4 years old. My uncle (he's awful) has dropped hints that he will contest the will because I am not a biological child and I shouldn't get my father's share. My question is, will be have a case? The best of it is, I'm not bothered about the money, I have money and my OH has a good job and it won't be millions but still a good amount obviously, but it hurts more because he obviously doesn't see me as 'real' family? I mean that in itself just devastates me but what also bothers me is that I don't want him to get my dad's share either because he doesn't deserve it after what he has said about his own brothers daughter. Does it matter if I'm adopted?

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 07/03/2025 22:40

@harlacem0507 dont you listen to your horrible uncle!! he is not going to successful in contesting anything!! you are classed as a child of your late father so you will get his share or a share of his share if you have any other siblings, adopted or otherwise!! grandchildren do not have to be named in a will. money meant for a son or daughter is automatically passed to their children. uncle is very stupid if he does not understand this basic law!

ColourBlueColourPurple · 07/03/2025 22:41

Get yourself a copy of the will and go through it with a fine toothcomb. Sorry for your loss.

TragicMuse · 07/03/2025 22:41

The legal definition of adoption is that a child becomes yours 'as if born to you'. You are your dad's child in law. Nothing can change your status as his child.

Your uncle can waste his money if he wants, but unless you're specifically excluded, your dad's inheritance will pass to you as his legal legatee.

Condolences on your loss. What a horrid thing to have to be dealing with.

Teado · 07/03/2025 22:43

What a scumbag. But he won’t win!

NattyTurtle59 · 07/03/2025 22:59

Your Uncle sounds like a horrible person. He can contest all he likes, it won't make any difference. However, I am very sorry you are having to deal with this. My awful step-siblings threatened to contest my DM's will, and while they didn't have a leg to stand on they held things up and it was very unpleasant having to go through it. I would have nothing more to do with my Uncle in this situation, people like that don't deserve any respect.

BaronessBotox · 07/03/2025 23:02

Once you are legally adopted, you are not entitled to claim anything from your ‘birth family’, however you have the same rights in your ‘adoptive family’ as anyone born into it. I am so sorry you haven’t got your Dad still here with you, and I’m sending you a big hug. People can be so vile, especially when it comes down to anything they haven’t earned, but they see as their right to claim……

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 07/03/2025 23:05

I'm sorry. I'm an adoptive mother and this makes my blood boil. As others have said, it's his limited mental and emotional capacity that's the issue here, not your standing as a beloved daughter and granddaughter. Don't let it distract you from grieving for your father or your grandfather.

Bigcat25 · 07/03/2025 23:06

I hope the uncle didn't influence your gp to exclude you from the will. So sorry for your losses.

ZoeCM · 07/03/2025 23:06

Your uncle is a scumbag. Adoptive children have the same legal standing as biological ones.

EasterIssland · 07/03/2025 23:07

Sorry for your loss and going through this.

im not British so I might be wrong but from my pov why is he caring?

grandad has 100k (imaginary number) and 2 children. So in my country each (unless specified in the will) will get 50% each. So 50k each. In your case as your dad isn’t alive the 50k would be divided between your dad’s children so 4 children (12.5k) or 3 if it was only birth kids. . He wouldn’t be getting any more regardless if you get any cash. Isn’t it this way how it works in uk/ England ?

edit to add i might have mixed the numbers of children but I hope the maths make sense and can be applied to the actual number of sons and grandchildren

Channellingsophistication · 07/03/2025 23:08

So sorry for your loss and that you have to deal with this horrible uncle on top of it. But in the eyes of the law you are as entitled to inherit as horrid uncle is. Make sure you get your rightful share.

hereismydog · 07/03/2025 23:11

I’d say nothing, let him waste money seeing a solicitor. He won’t win!

Sorry you’re having to deal with this on top of two helpings of grief. What a horrible man Sad

wobblyweasel · 07/03/2025 23:13

I'm so sorry for your loss, and what a ghastly man your uncle is! I don't think he has a leg to stand on if he contests the will.

DragonBalls · 07/03/2025 23:15

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:24

Yes exactly that, my dad was wonderful, a wonderful husband, dad and grandad as my two were only little at the time, god he was just so special. My uncle is a liar, a cheat and a greedy twat. Me and my mum often wonder how they were both from the same gene pool.

#PlotTwist Maybe you’re not from the same gene pool and he is not entitled to any inheritance at all!

But in all seriousness, you have nothing to worry about. You don’t even need legal advice. He doesn’t have a case at all. What a twat.

dementedmummy · 07/03/2025 23:16

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:06

Yes we live in England and my grandparents have always seen me as their own grandchild so I don't believe the word 'birth' child would come into it in the will but I can't be 100% as I haven't yet seen it it's just common knowledge that's how they did the will, obviously we wasn't expecting my dad to pass away before they did.

It's definitely not about the money but he's upset and angered me so much I'm desperate to not let him have a penny of my dads share.

I can guarantee you that this is very much about the money for your Uncle. You have no idea how many relatives that did not give two hoots during lifetime come out of the woodwork on a death with an enormous sense of entitlement about what is right and fair and how much the blood line means when there are £s involved. Sorry you are having to go through this.

RatedDoingMagic · 07/03/2025 23:19

The legal status of adoption puts you in the exact position of a genetically related child for all purposes. In intestacy laws if someone makes no Will, an adopted relative will receive exactly the same proportion as they would as blood kin. This is what adoption means, you are no pretender, you are family. I am so sorry that your uncle is such a horrible person.

For your uncle to be successful, your grandfather's will would have to either specifically name a list of legatees that excludes you, or specify that only genetically DNA-related grandchildren can inherit. If it just uses a generic phrase like "or their children if they predecease me" then your uncle has no case. You are your father's child.

TheUsualChaos · 07/03/2025 23:20

@EasterIssland I read it as OP being an only child so will inherit her late DF whole share. The Uncle thinks he can use the fact that she is adopted to get half of the inheritance for himself instead of a third. He's clearly rather thick.

Feelingstrange2 · 07/03/2025 23:23

Reading this is quite triggering.

When I was 11 we lost my grandad. His will left everything to his only son, my dad.

Dad's aunt wrote to the solicitors saying he wasn't entitled to anything as he wasn't their real.son!!!

On that day he found out for the first time he had been adopted.

Oh...he inherited everything too. Didn't speak to his aunt for about 30 years! Then one day, just decided to take her some chocolates for Christmas.

Codlingmoths · 07/03/2025 23:24

I hope for your sake he does contest, since he doesn’t have a leg to stand on legally and you will be able to tell everyone and they will all know in black and white what a nasty tosser he is.

LightDrizzle · 07/03/2025 23:24

Your uncle is a cunt. You sound very nice. I would be less nice. I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m happy that you got such a lovely dad 💐

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 23:28

dementedmummy · 07/03/2025 23:16

I can guarantee you that this is very much about the money for your Uncle. You have no idea how many relatives that did not give two hoots during lifetime come out of the woodwork on a death with an enormous sense of entitlement about what is right and fair and how much the blood line means when there are £s involved. Sorry you are having to go through this.

Ah sorry you misunderstood me, I mean it's not about money for me, but you are right it's definitely about the money for him!!

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/03/2025 23:30

I’m adopted.

My mum’s will split everything between her 3 children. I inherited a third.

LBFseBrom · 07/03/2025 23:44

You have exactly the same standing as any biological grandchild. The original purpose of legal adoption was to secure and legitimise the relationship between child and adoptive parent or parents so you are as entitled to an inheritance as much as the other grandchildren.

Your uncle is horrible, frankly. Greedy. I wonder what the other relatives think of him making such hints. I've not come across such an attitude and I've known families with adopted children, I myself was adopted. Whatever ups and downs I had with my family on either side when young I was always considered niece, cousin or whatever, never 'adopted niece'. They were all delighted for my long childless parents when I came along as a tiny baby.

I had one childless aunt on my dad's side who left me some money in her will, along with her one biological niece, there was no problem about it. My cousin and I are friends to this day, aged 75 (me) and 83 (her).

I also inherited a share of my biological mother's estate :-). That was a surprise! She was a widow and had had no children (by choice), with her husband. All she left, apart from a charity bequest, was divided equally between her two nieces, two nephews - and me. They didn't even know I existed! If she hadn't left a will I would not have been entitled to anything at all, probably wouldn't even have known she'd died. It was touching and very nice.

Hold your head up, let the law take it's course; it won't happen overnight, takes time to process probate and sell a property, etc, but you will get your share.

If I was a violent person I would happily punch your 'uncle', who is not worthy of the title, but as I am not, I won't.

Good luck to you and I hope you enjoy the inheritance, however much or little it is. Your granddad would have wanted you to, so would your parents.

CountryMumof4 · 07/03/2025 23:51

I'm so sorry that you're going through this after your losses. From what I know, legally your uncle has no leg to stand on unless the will is worded in a way that suggests it only applies to biological children, which it sounds like is unlikely - make sure you see a copy. Your dad was and always will be your dad - he sounds like a wonderful man and I'm very glad you were adopted into such a loving family. The uncle sounds like a knob. Best of luck with it all xx

Italiangreyhound · 07/03/2025 23:53

I am so sorry.

Sorry for your loss.

Sorry your uncle is a total twat.

Of course you should get your dad's share of any inheritance.