Why some mums are so weird ?

[Butterfly1940]

I have been wondering this since I became a mum myself, but this particular scenario happened yesterday and I found it so weird.

I have booked to go to a museum with my DC for a play & stay session in a museum, I paid a fee to participate, so it is not a free event.

This took place in a very nice and pleasant area in London, so people were not in a rush nor stressed.

There were two buildings, beautiful garden and few mums with children waiting outside the building.

I approached and asked if there is a queue- this particular mum turned her head and said “ I don’t know, I’m just waiting for someone”.

As I couldn’t find the entrance I asked again where is the entrance she said “ I don’t know”. That’s fine, I left.

Few minutes later we are all in, and the host says “who has been here before?”, And this strange woman is the only one who raises hand and says proudly that she was here before 😟😟 and no one join her so obviously she wasn’t waiting for anyone,
I don’t understand why people are deliberately being difficult, lying, pretending they don’t know.

We are in the same boat - we are all moms to young children who they learn from us and our interactions with people…

I’m confused as before the event I spent 5 minutes helping a mum who was lost and needed help, the other day an older woman couldn’t reach a top in NEXT so she asked me for help - I take pride in doing it … even though I’m with my young DC…

what’s happened to people ?

I imagine she just misunderstood your question or answered automatically. Maybe she thought you were asking for the main entrance to the museum, rather than the activity, for example. And she wasn't lying when she said she was waiting for someone - she was waiting for the person running the activity to let her in.

I wouldn't automatically assume that she was maliciously giving you the wrong information - that would be quite unusual. I'd assume incompetence rather than malice in most situations!

Don't always assume the worst. Maybe she misheard you, maybe her auditory processing is poor, there are a hundred reasons she might have responded this way aside from "she's a dick".

Some people are just pricks.

A midwife walked down with me to be picked up from the hospital entrance after my c section. A pregnant woman, obviously in a state of distress, saw her in uniform and said “please tell me where the maternity unit is”. Midwife said, “sorry I have no idea”
and stood there smirking.

People can just be cunts.

Hands down, in the top 10 of weirdest posts I ever read. Who cares?!?! There are about the same amount of weirdos who are mothers as those who aren't.

Jeez some people even on this thread aren’t very nice either . This is why I hate Mumsnet at times coz if you don’t word a post exactly right people jump on you .

Some have forgotten how to be kind in life . We are all so busy that some refuse to help others and yet there’s a lot of people who make it their destiny to go out of their way to be kind . They have lovely souls .

It’s just that some people behave differently to you. I expected some camaraderie of mums but got put in my place! It’s how people are, dealing with their own lives and issues. You do you, you sound like a nice person and don’t overthink regarding anyone who comes across as less positive.

I attended an antenatal group many years ago and recognised a woman there. After the session had ended I asked her if we had met before because I recognised her. She looked me up and down and said no in a blunt way and walked off. I lived in north London at the time and there were many other instances of snooty behaviour. People are just weird. Glad I moved to the north where they are so much friendlier.

I suspect she just misunderstood you.

Honestly don't let it take up too much space in your head. Maybe this woman was hideously under slept or just having a bad day. I will say I've found that certain middle class mums can be very standoffish and unfriendly (and at times downright rude) in London and I've had some slightly weird interactions similar to the one you just described in playgrounds, soft play etc. i mean, it doesn't happen all the time but not rare either.... I definitely feel more wary about striking up conversations with mums in "naice" parts of town versus my slightly scruffy south London suburb where people seem to be more open and easier to read (massive generalisation, I know)

Turn away then😊

@Nanny1983 I think it's because OP worded her post in a weird way saying mothers are unpleasant when the actual truth is some humans are unpleasant. Most of us are mothers so most of us would feel like that's quite unfair to single out mothers like that.

I find you giving this any head space weirder than her behaviour.

Why on earth is something so trivial got you all bothered?

I too would find that behaviour odd. I think we just notice it more when it's from people like us. You expect people in your tribe (in this case mums) to be like you so it's somehow more of a shock when they're not. Is that what you were getting at?

Wow that escalated quickly! How can you come to this conclusion based on a few words exchanged between you and this mum? What did she say that was racist?

I had a very similar encounter the other day...I was carrying something very heavy over my shoulder and a couple with a baby and a dog came towards me on the pavement so I stopped to let them go by whilst smiling pleasantly....they walk by with the most gormless looks on their faces, I said "you're welcome" in to the mothers ear 😅

I just cannot comprehend people's rudeness and ignorance!!

Exactly this. I said a “mum” because she was a mum - and because those weird interactions happened to me only at stay & play events.

There was so many times when I couldn’t fold my DC buggy - people will run to help me or if I stop and ask a random person on the street they always help me always! These weird interactions happen to me only at mums events - sorry mums I’m a mum too :)

🙄

I went to London science museum last year and I was in shock about how rude the middle class looking parents were - jumping ques, and allowing their children to snatch or use my dc backpack as a drum - all the while pretending to not notice me giving them the death stare.

are they all like this?? Or only to certain people/ people who potentially look beneath them ?

Maybe she couldn’t hear you or had something else on her mind and didn’t engage brain? Either way not a biggie IMO.

but the question was if she had been to the museum, not if she'd been to the mother and child EVENT before. So she might very well have been to the museum - twenty years ago on a school trip! Doesn't mean she knew where the entrance is now ahead of going in, or where the specific entrance for the mother and baby event was (as most museums have multiple entrances)

Same with the 'nobody joined' - it's not clear if you mean nobody else joined her in raising her hand to say they'd been there before - in which case that doesn't mean she wasn't waiting for someone, just that she was waiting for someone who hadn't been there before - i.e. when she had visited previously she wasn't with the same person she was with today.

Even if you meant 'you could see throughout the rest of the event she wasn't there with anyone', so what, as people have said perhaps her friend didn't turn up, or she meant 'I'm waiting for (my partner to turn up and hand over something I forgot) or (my nanny to come back from the loo and then she'll go on her break and I'll take the kids into the event)' but realised she didn't need to go into full detail to a random stranger whom she (mistakenly!) thought wouldn't care about the minutiae of her life, so just shortened it so you got the key info - she wasn't heading into the event immediately so wasn't of help to you in knowing where to go at that time.

and why on earth would you 'take pride' in reaching something from a shelf for someone? It's basic courtesy, not something to even remember doing 5 minutes later, not rescuing someone from a burning building! If I 'took pride' every time I gave someone directions or let a car in front of me, or held a door for someone, my head would be so big I wouldn't fit through said door!

I think its now becoming clear why this woman didn't want to speak to you

There was so many times when I couldn’t fold my DC buggy - people will run to help me or if I stop and ask a random person on the street they always help me always! These weird interactions happen to me only at mums events - sorry mums I’m a mum too

It sounds like you just expect far too much from women who are tired and focusing on their children.
People falling over themselves to fold your buggy? Being this upset because someone didn’t point you to the door? Weird

Does sound a bit odd. But maybe just a misunderstanding.

People in general are odd- it's not specific to mums.

So you met an unfriendly person out in public? Has this never happened to you before OP? .