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Original poster

Why some mums are so weird ?

109 replies

Butterfly1940 · 07/03/2025 11:30

I have been wondering this since I became a mum myself, but this particular scenario happened yesterday and I found it so weird.

I have booked to go to a museum with my DC for a play & stay session in a museum, I paid a fee to participate, so it is not a free event.

This took place in a very nice and pleasant area in London, so people were not in a rush nor stressed.

There were two buildings, beautiful garden and few mums with children waiting outside the building.

I approached and asked if there is a queue- this particular mum turned her head and said “ I don’t know, I’m just waiting for someone”.

As I couldn’t find the entrance I asked again where is the entrance she said “ I don’t know”. That’s fine, I left.

Few minutes later we are all in, and the host says “who has been here before?”, And this strange woman is the only one who raises hand and says proudly that she was here before 😟😟 and no one join her so obviously she wasn’t waiting for anyone,
I don’t understand why people are deliberately being difficult, lying, pretending they don’t know.

We are in the same boat - we are all moms to young children who they learn from us and our interactions with people…

I’m confused as before the event I spent 5 minutes helping a mum who was lost and needed help, the other day an older woman couldn’t reach a top in NEXT so she asked me for help - I take pride in doing it … even though I’m with my young DC…

what’s happened to people ?

OP posts:
JustMyView13 · 07/03/2025 12:07

More than one thing can be true.

It can be true that she was waiting for someone when you approached her.
It can also be true that she wasn’t certain of where the entrance was at the time you asked her, and she was more focused on looking out for the person she was waiting for.
It can also be true that she has previously attended an event of this nature, and perhaps even in the exact location, but did not remember confidently where the event would take place when you asked her.
We can go around judging people based on the snippets of information we find out about them, or we can just accept the answers she gave on the day and move on.

My partner loses all sense of direction if he arrives somewhere large via a different entrance. I, on the other hand, have a mental map of everywhere I’m going and have an incredible sense of direction. It’s my secret skill. Most people are somewhere in between my partner and I.

ConnieHeart · 07/03/2025 12:07

It has absolutely nothing to do with being a mum

I actually have a terrible sense of direction so if I'd gone somewhere before I couldn't guarantee if I'd remember where the entrance was. It was probably signposted though

Bestfootforward11 · 07/03/2025 12:08

Strange thing to still be thinking about. Odd to link this to making a sweeping statement about mums or anyone really. Not sure what the relevance of it being a posh part of London. I think in a way you have proved your own point which was along the lines why wasn’t she helpful/kind etc; what has happened to the way people behave. Well, I turn right that back at you. Why is it your need for info trumps everything else? You’ve got no idea who this woman is, why she was there, what she was thinking, what is going on in her life. But your conclusions about her are all completely focused really on why she didn’t help YOU. I don’t mean to sound harsh but that’s how I read it. I also live in south London, some people are friendly and helpful, some less so, this was when I had a child with the buggy etc and now. I’d like to think I’m also friendly and helpful but there are no doubt moments when I may not be unintentionally, like for anyone.

Crikeyalmighty · 07/03/2025 12:09

People in general
can be odd OP, it's not a mums thing .

Original poster
Butterfly1940 · 07/03/2025 12:10

User746353 · 07/03/2025 12:03

To be fair, she might have thought you were odd for not being able to find the entrance to a (presumably) big and well-established museum and also asking if there's a queue when that would have been clearly visible. A lot of mums standing in a line facing the same direction = queue. A bunch of mums spread out and not looking at the same thing or moving in the same direction = not a queue.

A rising trend in London phone theft are strangers who come up to you and attempt to make conversation, and at some point they will distract you by covering your phone/bag with an object and steal the phone. Of course, she can see you are also a mum but to be perfectly honest, a woman coming up to ask if there's a queue when there visibly isn't one would raise a few red flags to me. She was probably trying to shut down interaction on the side of caution, which honestly is perfectly reasonably if you have street smarts in London.

Edited

I completely understand but that’s why i described the place - it’s not in front of Science Museum.

Everyone was lined up like there is a queue- I can’t just assume and skip everyone - what’s wrong with asking ? Now that’s an issue too?

OP posts:
pursuitOfSomething · 07/03/2025 12:11

Not London but a small town in England we lived in about 90% of people horaded knowledge - it was really odd.

So you ask directly for information or make more general comments - and they'd know nothing - you find out somehow come back and tell them and they'd be like oh yes we used them - we did that - and we'd be like wtf why didn't you say something and they'd shrug it off. Even something as simple as where an entrance was they'd be like this.

It made everyday life at time - with house too do up and kids and new to area - slightly harder. We never worked out why - whether it was worry about being held accountable for accuracy of information or assumption we should just know like they did never worked it out - but it was such an odd area quirk.

Maitri108 · 07/03/2025 12:18

It's not just mums. I was going to a festival and got to the town and asked two people if they knew where the local park was.

They said they had no idea whatsoever. Never heard of it.

I started my Gmaps and eventually found the park. Guess who I passed walking into the entrance?

Original poster
Butterfly1940 · 07/03/2025 12:23

Maitri108 · 07/03/2025 12:18

It's not just mums. I was going to a festival and got to the town and asked two people if they knew where the local park was.

They said they had no idea whatsoever. Never heard of it.

I started my Gmaps and eventually found the park. Guess who I passed walking into the entrance?

Edited

Oh wow 😂😂
Right - I genuinely never ever thought that people can actually do this - people will stop me to ask me for a direction if I know I’m so happy to help if I don’t I will apologise and I will be gutted I couldn’t help - I never thought that actually people deliberately just lie about such insignificant things.

Now I know - more disappointment in people 🤣

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 07/03/2025 12:24

Some people are weird. They were probably weird before they became Mums.

Original poster
Butterfly1940 · 07/03/2025 12:26

pursuitOfSomething · 07/03/2025 12:11

Not London but a small town in England we lived in about 90% of people horaded knowledge - it was really odd.

So you ask directly for information or make more general comments - and they'd know nothing - you find out somehow come back and tell them and they'd be like oh yes we used them - we did that - and we'd be like wtf why didn't you say something and they'd shrug it off. Even something as simple as where an entrance was they'd be like this.

It made everyday life at time - with house too do up and kids and new to area - slightly harder. We never worked out why - whether it was worry about being held accountable for accuracy of information or assumption we should just know like they did never worked it out - but it was such an odd area quirk.

Probably she was born there 🤣 (I’m joking )

It’s so so weird - I do wonder now what makes people act like that - what’s their satisfaction in that?

OP posts:
Greywarden · 07/03/2025 12:26

Being in a nice and pleasant area of London is no guarantee that people aren't rushed or stressed.

This woman might have terrible social anxiety that makes it hard for her to talk to anyone. She might have panicked when asked a question and lied as a default response. She might be living through some sort of horrible situation which was occupying her mind. She might be a victim of abuse, or have serious mental health challenges, or had her mum die the day before, or any of a million lesser but still unpleasant and difficult things.

It is possible, of course, that she deliberately lied about why she was there and not knowing about the entrance because she wanted to be malicious and hoped you'd get lost and not join the group. Some people are dicks sometimes. It happens.

It doesn't seem the most likely explanation, though.

Ideally, even people going through really difficult things would still make the effort to be helpful and polite. I agree that I would be quite put out / confused by her reaction in this situation. However, I would also argue that it's helpful to remember that we have no idea what other people have going on or what it's like to be in their heads.

Hoppinggreen · 07/03/2025 12:27

NerrSnerr · 07/03/2025 11:37

This took place in a very nice and pleasant area in London, so people were not in a rush nor stressed.

Would people be in a hurry and stressed if it was in a council estate in Hull or is it a stealth boast?

Some one probably would actually been helpful there

AuntAgathaGregson · 07/03/2025 12:27

Butterfly1940 · 07/03/2025 11:47

No - the point was to describe the event, it wasn’t in front of National History Museum.

Show quote history

Do you mean the Natural History Museum? Is the area in front of it nasty and unpleasant? First I'd heard of it.

AuntAgathaGregson · 07/03/2025 12:30

Maitri108 · 07/03/2025 12:18

It's not just mums. I was going to a festival and got to the town and asked two people if they knew where the local park was.

They said they had no idea whatsoever. Never heard of it.

I started my Gmaps and eventually found the park. Guess who I passed walking into the entrance?

Edited

Or maybe they said to each other "That sounds interesting, let's go and check it out". And looked it up on the map themselves.

MellowCritic · 07/03/2025 12:30

This took place in a very nice and pleasant area in London, so people were not in a rush nor stressed.

I must live on the unpleasant side of London then, here we are all in a rush and stressed 🤣

Pippinsdiary · 07/03/2025 12:31

So she represents most mums does she? How strange to even be concerned about this

pursuitOfSomething · 07/03/2025 12:33

Butterfly1940 · 07/03/2025 12:26

Probably she was born there 🤣 (I’m joking )

It’s so so weird - I do wonder now what makes people act like that - what’s their satisfaction in that?

Show quote history

No idea - there were still a few normal people a few local and a few who'd move there like us - and it did make me appreciate them even more but overall a huge relief to move on.

Day we moved here neigbours were round to welcome us and offer help and give us all the local information they thought might help us - couldn't have had a bigger contrast.

Maitri108 · 07/03/2025 12:33

AuntAgathaGregson · 07/03/2025 12:30

Or maybe they said to each other "That sounds interesting, let's go and check it out". And looked it up on the map themselves.

Show quote history

I didn't mention the festival and they didn't have maps out, but probably.

Secondarystruggles · 07/03/2025 12:41

Maitri108 · 07/03/2025 12:33

I didn't mention the festival and they didn't have maps out, but probably.

Show quote history

  1. It might be that the park is known as something else locally to whatever name you referred to it by. Or they ‘knew’ where the festival was but didn’t actually know the name of the park

  2. They might not have wanted you tagging along with them so didn’t say they were going there (avoiding the awkward walk you do with people you don’t really know)

ThatMrsM · 07/03/2025 12:41

I wouldn't think anything of it, not that weird. Maybe she was waiting for a friend who didn't show up. If there were a few mums & children waiting outside couldn't you have asked someone else where the entrance was/if there was a queue instead of asking the same mum again? Very odd to assume she was lying.

Original poster
Butterfly1940 · 07/03/2025 12:44

Greywarden · 07/03/2025 12:26

Being in a nice and pleasant area of London is no guarantee that people aren't rushed or stressed.

This woman might have terrible social anxiety that makes it hard for her to talk to anyone. She might have panicked when asked a question and lied as a default response. She might be living through some sort of horrible situation which was occupying her mind. She might be a victim of abuse, or have serious mental health challenges, or had her mum die the day before, or any of a million lesser but still unpleasant and difficult things.

It is possible, of course, that she deliberately lied about why she was there and not knowing about the entrance because she wanted to be malicious and hoped you'd get lost and not join the group. Some people are dicks sometimes. It happens.

It doesn't seem the most likely explanation, though.

Ideally, even people going through really difficult things would still make the effort to be helpful and polite. I agree that I would be quite put out / confused by her reaction in this situation. However, I would also argue that it's helpful to remember that we have no idea what other people have going on or what it's like to be in their heads.

It is possible, of course, that she deliberately lied about why she was there and not knowing about the entrance because she wanted to be malicious and hoped you'd get lost and not join the group. Some people are dicks sometimes. It happens.

Oh yes ! Now it makes sense - I didn’t think of it!

Before I approached her she has observed obviously the interaction between me and the mum that I mention she was lost.

I was helping this mom and I was telling her it might be ok to join even though she doesn’t have a ticket, maybe if she asks she can pay at the door ( she was very loud( which probably Karen didn’t like it ) & then “the loud “ mum changed her mind just when we got to the queue - saying “oh no we are not coming - we don’t have a ticket”).

and then our interaction started …

Anyway that’s my answer- it was malicious- as when we got to the event she glued herself to the blonde mums who are very nice & calm etc etc.
stereotypes stereotypes …

hidden racists & stereotypes mum called Karen

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 07/03/2025 12:45

Maitri108 · 07/03/2025 12:18

It's not just mums. I was going to a festival and got to the town and asked two people if they knew where the local park was.

They said they had no idea whatsoever. Never heard of it.

I started my Gmaps and eventually found the park. Guess who I passed walking into the entrance?

Edited

Sometimes stuff like this is just a brain fart though.

I had someone ask me where Maintland Park was a couple of years ago. Not a clue sorry, never heard of it. I get home and Google it out of interest and find out it's the closest park to me, that everyone just calls little park. (Because it's a park and littler than the other park nearby). Must have walked past it a million times and never realised that that wasn't it's real name.

IButtleSir · 07/03/2025 12:45

Dads, on the other hand- they're all such normal, rational people!

MollyRover · 07/03/2025 12:50

Why wouldn't you ask someone who was working there though? I don't think her reactions were that strange.

Secondarystruggles · 07/03/2025 12:55

Flipping heck @Butterfly1940 your last update 😲 deciding people are racists and calling them derogatory names based on a momentary exchange is not a good look. No wonder the woman didn’t want to engage further with you!