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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you rely on state support , you should have a great quality of life, not the breadline

261 replies

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 09:50

Aibu? Can we have a healthy chat on this one:

I will set my position out so nobody can say I've drip fed. I would say I have quite socialist mindset to be honest although I have grown up very privileged due to my parents hard work
I am from the uk but moved around as a child coming back to England age 18 for uni

I have been always lucky enough not to need help from the government. I think some people probably do claim help and don't need it but mostly I would say the cases are very genuine

Here's where I don't know if I am different

I think you should be given a high , highest quality of life by the govt if you genuinely for whatever reason need it.
Why should you live on the breadline?
Why should you turn down your heating?
Why should you not get treatment or help that would improve your life ?

Is it degrading to give state benefit as a breadline type lifestyle? I say yes

I think I am not being unreasonable saying that benefits and state support should be increased as it is unfair to resign people to a poor quality of life due to them needing help?

Thank you

OP posts:
Sportacus17 · 07/03/2025 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ExpressCheckout · 07/03/2025 11:03

Rkree · 07/03/2025 10:59

They should have an average quality of life. Enough to heat their home, feed their family but that's it. If TV, just the BBC, no sky, no Xbox and playstation unless they work for it and pay for it themselves.

^ This, exactly. I don't have Sky, etc., just basic TV. No fancy mobile phone. Careful with my energy use. What's the problem with this?

Yes, there are people who live in abject poverty through no fault of their own. But there are also people who need to take a good look at how they are spending their money.

Gruttenberg · 07/03/2025 11:03

@HoppingPavlova - you said 'Having been paid below min wage and I have a huge bee in my bonnet about this'

Was it a UK employer who paid you below minimum wage? If UK is there a reason you didn't take this up with ACAS or HMRC? You can still regain the money you should have been paid.

https://www.gov.uk/national-minimum-wage/worker-disputes-over-minimum-wage

The National Minimum Wage and Living Wage

Who's entitled to the minimum wage, what's included when working out the minimum wage, and what happens if there's a dispute.

https://www.gov.uk/national-minimum-wage/worker-disputes-over-minimum-wage

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/03/2025 11:04

A car? You’re seriously suggesting that the state (tax payers) provide you with a car?!
Huge numbers of working people can’t afford driving lessons, let alone a car, tax and insurance.
A mobility scooter on loan, possibly.

Whats wrong with second hand clothes? I’ve bought them all of my adult life. There’s far too much waste.

Rkree · 07/03/2025 11:04

Why can't some disabled people just get a WFH job?

Rosybud88 · 07/03/2025 11:05

Well do you feel that working tax payers should be afforded the same?

Otherwise you would have workers on the bread line paying tax for people who do not work (for whatever reason) to have a better quality of life.

ExpressCheckout · 07/03/2025 11:05

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 11:01

This was a for healthy conversation guys

Genuinely I can't be bothered to respond

The bunch of you are obviously slaving at work unable to use mumsnet on a friday morning?

Off you pop, then. I am sure there are some Jeremy Corbyn videos you could watch whilst ruminating on your compassion for the poor.

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 11:06

I would start with stopping off shore tax from corps

I don't know the rest but it's a thought pattern

Of course disabled people can go on holiday why not ? Why no savings? A disgrace

My family qlways pick up the bill, not the state

i like how my stuff from another thread is pulled on

genuinely what hapoens if houswife disabled or single

disgusting ableism from a lot of you

genuinely need and so no dignity

lush

as i also rdplwined on my other thread at least 100k in tax

use all private helalth care and i note that you also still think i would deserve to be humiliated and cold

lf you want a living wage thread start it and ill join as i am lonely and bed wridden

comments on intelligence dire ladies

grow up

OP posts:
angelspike · 07/03/2025 11:06

Rkree · 07/03/2025 11:04

Why can't some disabled people just get a WFH job?

Hospital and doctors appointments, multiple operations etc all take up time
How flexible is a job going to be when you ring in sick 4 times a month?
Disability isn't predicable a lot of the time
I work but I can be fine one minute and in so much pain the next that I have to stop working

Horserider5678 · 07/03/2025 11:07

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 10:55

Genuine reasons guys

I cannot believe the amount of responses here

I have become disabled again in the last 3 months

I am agog

I genuinely pray nobody else has the boot on the other foot

So you want to take away dignity and leave sick people on a bread line ans you're ok if this happened to you too?

Let’s have your proposal of how it’s going to be paid for? The only way to pay for it is to increase taxation which in turn affects the life of someone just above the benefits threshold. This in turn will push more people into poverty and further increasing the benefits bill! There are plenty of people who work bloody hard and earn just over the threshold for UC! So why should someone who has never doing anything with their life except have multiple children with different partners have a better quality of life than those who work hard! There’s a saying “you made your bed”

Ph3 · 07/03/2025 11:07

@confidenceboost in theory I agree with you. I think that people that have a disability, or have children with disabilities or genuinely can’t work should have a good quality of life. Not pinching and just enough for bills. However I don’t think it’s sustainable.
I also think we got into the habit of having children we cannot afford and just collect benefits.
And I think the tax system is unfair and people who work and pay tax end up resenting those who claim benefits.

friendlycat · 07/03/2025 11:07

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 11:01

This was a for healthy conversation guys

Genuinely I can't be bothered to respond

The bunch of you are obviously slaving at work unable to use mumsnet on a friday morning?

But people are responding with their views.

On another thread you’re asking where you can book a holiday for £5k. Is this the type of support that you want taxpayers to pay?

BravebutBroken · 07/03/2025 11:08

ParrotParty · 07/03/2025 10:56

Yet you are judging that other people can work whilst not working yourself?
You are able to post a coherent sentence on here and able to presumably care for your children to an extent, why are you unable to do any form of work?

Would you like me to forward you a copy of my medical records? My husband cares for our children, whilst working full time. I'm currently in bed waiting for his lunch break so he can help me get washed and dressed. Being able to type a paragraph today doesn't mean I'm able to hold down a job. Do you know of a position where I can work when I may have an hour I'm capable of typing but I can't give you any indication when it may be? If so, please send me the details.

Perhaps I should add that I'm a qualified nurse and worked for 15 years previously. I'm not convinced you'd want me issuing medications to one of your relatives just because I'm capable of typing. But thank you for your input nonetheless.

Rkree · 07/03/2025 11:08

angelspike · 07/03/2025 11:06

Hospital and doctors appointments, multiple operations etc all take up time
How flexible is a job going to be when you ring in sick 4 times a month?
Disability isn't predicable a lot of the time
I work but I can be fine one minute and in so much pain the next that I have to stop working

I mean then work PT or something? Like it'll be better than 0 work at all.

Horserider5678 · 07/03/2025 11:08

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 11:06

I would start with stopping off shore tax from corps

I don't know the rest but it's a thought pattern

Of course disabled people can go on holiday why not ? Why no savings? A disgrace

My family qlways pick up the bill, not the state

i like how my stuff from another thread is pulled on

genuinely what hapoens if houswife disabled or single

disgusting ableism from a lot of you

genuinely need and so no dignity

lush

as i also rdplwined on my other thread at least 100k in tax

use all private helalth care and i note that you also still think i would deserve to be humiliated and cold

lf you want a living wage thread start it and ill join as i am lonely and bed wridden

comments on intelligence dire ladies

grow up

Clearly you didn’t read it before you posted!

Whycanineverthinkofone · 07/03/2025 11:09

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 11:01

This was a for healthy conversation guys

Genuinely I can't be bothered to respond

The bunch of you are obviously slaving at work unable to use mumsnet on a friday morning?

I work sundays. Friday is my day off.

i work. Full time. I can’t afford to run a car. If I take time off for appointment I lose money. My kids clothes tend to come off eBay. I haven’t bought myself clothes in years.

I use my heating minimally to save money.

i am housed but costs have gone up astronomically in the last year with mortgage rates, so it eats into a massive chunk of my salary.

no one is arguing benefits shouldn’t be more than just survivable. But they shouldn’t be better than someone working full time. Caveat: that’s for someone who can work.

your disability is a drip feed. That’s a different kettle of fish. If you can’t work that’s not the same as someone who can, but doesn’t bother because benefits pay better than someone working like me.

NC28 · 07/03/2025 11:10

Absolutely not.

If you’re giving a great quality of life on benefits, where’s the incentive to work?

Workers should never be worse off than those who do not.

Mademetoxic · 07/03/2025 11:10

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 11:06

I would start with stopping off shore tax from corps

I don't know the rest but it's a thought pattern

Of course disabled people can go on holiday why not ? Why no savings? A disgrace

My family qlways pick up the bill, not the state

i like how my stuff from another thread is pulled on

genuinely what hapoens if houswife disabled or single

disgusting ableism from a lot of you

genuinely need and so no dignity

lush

as i also rdplwined on my other thread at least 100k in tax

use all private helalth care and i note that you also still think i would deserve to be humiliated and cold

lf you want a living wage thread start it and ill join as i am lonely and bed wridden

comments on intelligence dire ladies

grow up

Stop slagging off people who pay for you to live your lifestyle.

JHound · 07/03/2025 11:10

It should be a decent standard of living.

If you want a “great” standard of living work for it and make sensible lifestyle decisions.

bettydavieseyes · 07/03/2025 11:13

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 09:50

Aibu? Can we have a healthy chat on this one:

I will set my position out so nobody can say I've drip fed. I would say I have quite socialist mindset to be honest although I have grown up very privileged due to my parents hard work
I am from the uk but moved around as a child coming back to England age 18 for uni

I have been always lucky enough not to need help from the government. I think some people probably do claim help and don't need it but mostly I would say the cases are very genuine

Here's where I don't know if I am different

I think you should be given a high , highest quality of life by the govt if you genuinely for whatever reason need it.
Why should you live on the breadline?
Why should you turn down your heating?
Why should you not get treatment or help that would improve your life ?

Is it degrading to give state benefit as a breadline type lifestyle? I say yes

I think I am not being unreasonable saying that benefits and state support should be increased as it is unfair to resign people to a poor quality of life due to them needing help?

Thank you

I am on benefits and don't live on the breadline. I'm a carer for my 2 high needs autistic children and working isn't an option.

RhaenysRocks · 07/03/2025 11:13

OP you said people should start a different thread for discussion of living wage but it's all connected. Of course there are people who genuinely can't work and I do agree that they should be able to live comfortably but when we have millions of people not working due to "anxiety" and not being pro-active in solving their issues and millions of people working 50/60 hour weeks with no ability to save, have holidays and using food banks, we simply can't do as you propose.

confidenceboost · 07/03/2025 11:15

Gruttenberg · 07/03/2025 11:03

@HoppingPavlova - you said 'Having been paid below min wage and I have a huge bee in my bonnet about this'

Was it a UK employer who paid you below minimum wage? If UK is there a reason you didn't take this up with ACAS or HMRC? You can still regain the money you should have been paid.

https://www.gov.uk/national-minimum-wage/worker-disputes-over-minimum-wage

Yes he is being sued
He told me to resign when I was off with sepsis related to my disability

Acas HMRC the lot

OP posts:
Frowningprovidence · 07/03/2025 11:15

There are benefits for different reasons.

I think that if people are disabled and completley unable to work, the aim should be for better than breadline as they can't upskilks, trai, or do overtime, or even do some of the cost cutting measures available to others.

Notchangingnameagain · 07/03/2025 11:16

This country is full of piss takers who already take advantage of the system where they can.

Whilst people should not be on the breadline for any reason, those that take but don't need are why people who need are always left behind.

LBFseBrom · 07/03/2025 11:17

I agree wholeheartedly. However many do if they claim all their entitlements and many don't. I'm a pensioner and am not entitled to extras but if I was, I would have no hesitation in claiming.

We pay tax to enable the welfare state which exists for those who do not have enough income. I am glad my bit of tax helps others. I had a lovely cousin who died last year and she was chronically sick. However she was able to live a very good life because of the welfare state, was not on the breadline, could pay her bills and eat well, was independent. That is how it should be.

Any of us could need a helping hand, I am glad the safety net is there.