Partner got a reactive HIV test result

[Foreverstar]

Not sure if I'm posting in the right place but not sure where else to...My partner of 3.5 years got tested for STIs last week after speaking to his GP and having had a sore penis for a couple of weeks. He got the results earlier this week just before heading abroad to visit family. The HIV test came back with a reactive result, everything else clear. He needs to get tested again and they've told him it could be a false positive. I'm obviously worried. We both did an STI test when we got together except his blood test didn't have sufficient to get results for the HIV test but all else clear. I'm as sure as I possibly can be that he hasn't cheated and know it could be a false positive and also that it can lay dormant for years but I know he has had what could be called a very relaxed approach to contraception in the past (idiot I know!)...how worried should I be? Had anyone else had this? I realise even if it is positive treatment etc has massively advanced but he's away with limited contact and I can't really discuss with anyone at present...

You two are shameless.
This woman came here for advice after a great shock and you're having a bun fight.

Both of you.

That’s quite unfair. I came to the thread to offer OP the best advice I could from a professional perspective, and have repeatedly attempted to disengage from the person derailing the thread. I have reported some comments to @MNHQ who have unfortunately not acted on them (yet) as I think it’s quite unkind for this poster to be planting doubts in the OP’s mind, seemingly for her own entertainment, when she is already going through a very worrying time.

I’m not ‘having a bunfight’, I’m trying to defend my professional opinion in order to alleviate some of the OP’s worries, which is what I set out to do when I commented in the first place. I’d be worried too if I read something that might have made me feel better, only to then read comments from someone else designed to make me worry more.

I’m going to step away from the thread unless @Foreverstar would like any further advice from me, in which case I will gladly reply, but I won’t be engaging with any other commenters.

@WetBandits that is were you and I differ I have OP’s best interest at heart and I would rather feel shame and admit to it and hope OP gets a HIV test asap than believe the advice on here given by you that her BF’s reactive test is not reliable enough for her to act on it asap.

Don’t wait for your BF to return OP get a test asap. The GUM nurse was the best advice it was not said to scare you like @WetBandits said but to help you as the GUM nurse is the best person to take advice from.

@ToBeOrNotToBee I agree myself and especially @WetBandits have acted shamefully and I will bow out here. OP please get a test and don’t trust your BF until he has had a lab test for HIV and you see his results.

(Just wanted to add that I am a GUM nurse, in case it wasn’t clear)

@Totototo The NMC aren't going to care about this. Do you know how many sexual health clinics there are in the UK? The patient isn't identifiable. The nurse isn't identifiable. Nothing will happen.

You have misunderstood so much. WetBandits talked about the home test because the PP was talking about the insufficient sample. PP mistakenly thought that was a POCT (which she later admitted and so retracted her comment). WetBandits was not the one who said it was a POCT. The only advice she gave was to tell the OP not to worry until the test has been repeated.

@PandaTime @WetBandits OP insulted another GUM nurse for her comments saying this GUM nurse was trying to scare OP when in fact everything that @WetBandits has said is not based on research, patients risk factors and imo NMC will be interested in a registered nurse using patients details even if they are anonymous to try and prove a point, especially as if this patient was privy to this thread he is easily identifiable by what @WetBandits says about him. Are you a professional registered HCW @PandaTime ?The first thing we are taught is no matter how anonymous a patient can always identify themselves so don’t share any details on a social media platform. This is basic respect to our patients.

If anything it was the other poster who would have scared the OP by telling her that her partner is almost certainly HIV positive. As WetBandits said, a positive reactive test just means reactive. It means further testing is required. It is not a diagnosis.

Again, the NMC will not be interested in this. WetBandits is anonymous. There is not a thing here that is traceable. Nothing identifiable has been said. Even if this particular patient does see this thread, he won't know it's about him because he is not the only patient who has to have his bloods tested in the lab.

@WetBandits said they have a patient who has a reactive result every time 'we' take it so presumably that's at the clinic she works at and not a home test? I found the explanation very clear. And a far better response than people insisting he almost certainly has it - especially from someone who has worked in a GUM clinic!

I watched a programme about HIV testing, it was very interesting the upshot was results can often give false positives. So try not to panic.

Call all his ex partner and ask if any have hiv ?
you did a sti at the start of your relationship and then again a week ago ?

why test again if so sure he’s not been unfaithful ?

My only question is: why have you tested now?

In my area you can get same day HIV tests

Good luck 🤞🏻

Isn't there an immediate pin prick test you can do, you see the results in seconds? I remember doing that before at the clinic.
You could go to the walk in gum clinic and get that asap.

What exactly would you report to the NMC?

Dear NMC

I am writing to report an anonymous poster on Mumsnet who has claimed to be a GUM nurse. I don't know their name, registration number or where they work, if they are actually a nurse, or even living in the UK. I can confirm that their user name is @WetBandits

However, I am concerned that they talked about a patient who is high risk for HIV and has had a number of tests. They did not name the patient, their age, their ethnicity or state the area in which the patient lives or the clinic they attend, just that they were male and at high risk of HIV.

Many thanks
@18hourfastcompleted

👍🤣

Get tested asap and do t have unprotected sex, it's not worth the risk

absolutely ridiculous.

Hopefully no one is bothering to read all this rubbish. I’m certainly not.

That GUM nurse posted on this thread from a position of experience, with an absolutely lovely, humane, helpful and informative reply for the OP. No doubt it was comforting to the OP and it was also super informative to others- like myself- I have learned some new and important things from this thread. (Not from you). Just leave her alone please.

She shared absolutely no personal details that could be used to identify anyone. Sue 100% respected the privacy and confidentiality of all of her patients. There is zero harm or wrongdoing here. Zero. only benefit to the OP and others. Misconduct and discipline my arse. It’s patently ridiculous to suggest that health professionals can’t talk about their clinical experiences in general terms- how would we learn anything from medical experience? How would endless journal articles that contain important learning anonymised information about cases professionals encounter during their clinical work ever get published?

I hate to think that the unpleasant actions of a couple of users on this thread might discourage experienced people sharing helpful and useful advice to others in need in the future.