Boss's ex wife

[ThisPinkEagle]

I work for a small company (there's about 25 of us). My boss (45) left his wife over Xmas after having an affair. This new woman he is with has the same name as me (I am 35). I am also married.

I man the main phone line in my role at the office and when I pick up I say hello you're through to 'Jenny' at....how can I help? Two weeks ago I got a call on the office line with a private number. Picked up and was met with 'are you the prostitute' then the phone hung up. Another call shortly after asking for my boss, I asked who it was an was met with a woman screaming down the phone that she was his wife and I am a slag, she ended the call again. This continued to the point she was getting her young kids to call the office line asking for daddy and then yelling down the phone saying 'girls you're speaking to daddy's new girlfriend who he left us for'.

Alot of people call us back from private numbers if they have had a missed call from us to find out who we are so ignoring them is not an option as we will miss work calls so we have now had to get another guy in the office to do the initial call answering before they can be passed to me.

My boss (who owns the company) is telling us to just leave it and it'll eventually blow over but I have had to get my own husband into the office for my boss to explain his life story to him in case she tries to contact me over social media and my husband suddenly thinks I am sleeping with my boss. The other guy in the office is getting increasingly pissed off he has to stop his quite frankly already very busy job to answer the phone in case I get screamed at. My boss is my HR....he's apparently called the police but she's not stopping and they've said there isn't much they can do.

Myself and my colleague are now at the point of frustration and we have no idea what to do. It is now affecting our jobs and office atmosphere which before now was absolutely lovely. It's only me and him in the office (the rest are guys out on the tools) and he is not always here and I lock up on my own three nights a week whilst he does the school run and I am terrified she might turn up one night if it continues to escalate.

I have explained to her in the calls, I am not the woman but she just isn't having it. I have also logged it with the police myself.

I bet the Daily Mail picks this story up.

I would tell my boss that, until this unpleasant issue (entirely of his doing) is solved, all phone calls directed to the company should go through him first. Let him deal with his wife on the phone. For legitimate business calls, he can forward the call to you or the other employee.

I'm sorry you're going through this. For what it's worth men like this respond best when you speak to them with their wallet. Get signed off sick with stress and anxiety. State signes off until this has "all blown over". It will blow over a lot quicker as soon as boss has to do your job or pay for someone to sort you

tell the wife the real name of the OW.

Your boss has a duty of care to you and needs to protect you. There’s no way you should be locking up alone.

Similar happened at my work! The wife would call drunk and rant at whoever answered the phone and threatened to turn up to confront the affair partner. HR logged it with the police every time, all calls were recorded and she was also frequently emailing the office. Don’t be fobbed off by the police this IS harassment and of course you know who it is. Do a list of all the times she has called and examples of what she says to you especially any direct threats and call 101. Record keeping is important to evidence the harassment . In our case the police went to speak to the wife and she stopped.
in the meantime totally agree with boss having duty of care to you, ensure you put in writing to him the impact this is having on your mental health, your ability to do your job and you won’t be locking up or alone in the office until this stops.

Do you have to answer saying 'Jenny speaking' can you change it to 'holly speaking' if you're exclusively doing dinner them?

Time to tell your boss that he needs to have his lawyer send a cease and desist notice to his ex wife confirming that you are not the woman in question nor does she work in the business and that if she continues to harrass you along with her friends and family he will contact the police due to harassment. If he does not you should confirm that you will be seeking your own advice from ACAS on lodging a grievance about him due to the intolerable working conditions that are not only affecting you but your colleagues too caused by his failure to keep it in his trousers. Good luck

Also log everything she or her cronies call with the police. It definitely is harassment and if nothing else, the police will need to deal with it where the pattern emerges

You should refuse to lock up on your own until it’s sorted.

As others have said - don't use your name when answering the phone? I know the problem is bigger than this, but it's a start

Time to think about moving to another job.
If she is mad enough to involve her children, she is mad enough to cause you physical harm

He's using you to protect his new woman. What a prince.

If you know who the other woman is, tell the wife when she calls.

This for sure

Surely the ex will recognise OPs voice....

Im really sorry that you’ve found yourself caught up in what sounds like a ridiculous and terrible situation! If it continues or god forbid escalates, you might be able to apply for a non-molestation order against her? The criteria to qualify are pretty wide and would certainly take into consideration that she isn’t listening to or accepting that her behaviour is wrong, regardless of if it’s directed at the correct person!

Or rather that your boss could apply I mean as she’s his ex wife. She’s contacting his workplace, colleagues and causing you fear and distress. I really hope that she calms down though and you don’t have to go through any more stress to get this resolved!

Very much a boss problem then.