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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends staying here and poorly

128 replies

Thissucks125 · 05/03/2025 23:58

On the 13th Feb I had a stomach bug. As did my daughter. recovered. Then caught a cold. On the 21st Feb we got a weird achy bug. I had a bad stomach with it (diarrhoea) she vomited. We sort of had dodgy stomachs for 4 days.

Friends staying here temporarily. They should be moving into their house next week. They've been stopping in hotels but I said they could stay here Tuesday and Wed to save money. They've started throwing up tonight. But they've blocked my sink with vomit and it's also gone allover my bathroom bin.

I feel really pissed off. I can smell sick and I have no way of unblocking the sink as i wasnt expecting them to not reach the toilet.. I dont want to catch it. I have worked 6 days out of the last 7 and I'm going in Friday morning too. So tomorrow I wanted to go to my parents for a couple of hours and do xyz. I was relying on this friend to be up and productive early. If I have anymore sick days I'll probably end up with a warning. Plus I really really don't want a sickness bug again.

I don't know why I'm writing. Just so miffed!

OP posts:
Pinkandcake · 06/03/2025 10:28

@Cucy

Yeah, you can leave it until the next day or the next week if you like, in your own house. Not at someone else house!!

So unless you’ve puked somewhere other than in the toilet, then you’re not really poorly? Yeah right!

I think you’ll see from the replies that MOST people agree that to leave it in the sink isn’t something the average person would do and it’s vile.

and only on MN would it be acceptable to leave such a mess and if anyone dares say they should have cleaned it up, get told they’re wrong. There are a lot of people who are emetophopic and would really struggle dealing with this situation as they have explained on here.

RachelLikesTea · 06/03/2025 10:32

We don't know them, we don't know quite how ill they have been so I think we (strangers) should give them the benefit of the doubt. If a good, decent friend of mine vomited in my bathroom sink, I would assume they were very unwell indeed.

RachelLikesTea · 06/03/2025 10:35

Also, it may be they felt so unwell that they went straight back to bed, feeling so unwell that they did not realise the sink was actually blocked. I wouldn't be surprised having had norovirus.

As for being 'up and productive', I am sure they want to be as they are moving but we were very unwell for days with that. I feel really bad for them.

Weefox · 06/03/2025 10:36

This is awful! Hope they have apologised profusely. Tell them, nicely, that they can't expect you to clean up their sick and they must sort it out themselves. You are not a cleaning service.

Bloom15 · 06/03/2025 10:45

They need to clean it up - that's disgusting

luckylavender · 06/03/2025 11:03

I haven't vomited for years. But I could never vomit in the loo. Makes me feel worse. The further down your head goes, the worse it is. Loos always smell 🤢

Tiredofallthis101 · 06/03/2025 11:04

Eurgh I'd be very annoyed about this. I've been incredibly poorly with flu or other bugs and always cleaned up straight away when I've been sick on the floor or something, even though I thought there was a good chance it would kill me! I'd do that even in my own house as you're sharing the space with other people. It's really disgusting not to clean up after yourself in someone else's home. But it is likely they caught the bug from you so hopefully you won't catch it again.

Devianinc · 07/03/2025 01:28

BookClubGrinch · 06/03/2025 08:12

Exactly! It’s them who should be raging not op

Hmmm, I think the person knew and went anyway. I’m going to have to back and look.

Devianinc · 07/03/2025 01:31

Going back the op should have told the person she and her daughter had been ill. I was wrong but I’m still clean your own sick. Unless your a baby

steff13 · 07/03/2025 02:17

Pinkandcake · 06/03/2025 00:49

I struggle to understand how an adult can’t make it to the toilet to be sick?! Assuming they’re not - elderly, frail, disabled, blind and the rest of the exemptions before someone pipes up)

You know when you’re going to be sick because you can feel the build up, your mouth gets watery etc… and I wouldn’t even puke in my own sink (and I have 5) because it’s disgusting as others have to use them to clean teeth, wash face, hands etc.. when you’re sick in the toilet it gets flushed away and is more hygienic at least.

Id be fuming as well OP as there’s no need and to not clean it up 🤢🤢

Edited

Maybe they were using the toilet when they got sick. That happened to me once, the sink was the only option.

Tryinghardtobefair · 07/03/2025 02:43

I actually really feel for your friend. I got food poisoning when I was staying at an ex's house years ago and I was ill out of both ends. Thankfully I got it in a bin and the loo, but he had to rinse everything out and scrub things down in between each bout because I was in no fit state. My ex was so worried about me he sat with me while I slept because I looked so unwell he thought it was going to end up as a hospital job. Its the only time I have ever been unable to clean up after myself.

Also having worked in a nursery, noro can hit fast and hard with zero warning. We've had more than one staff member go from feeling a bit warm or having a minor headache to suddenly being violently ill in the bin because there was no warning and no time to run across the building to the only staff toilet. I've never judged. I don't think ANYONE would choose to have their stomach bug immortalised by 20 x 2-3 year olds if they had another option.

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/03/2025 04:42

Devianinc · 06/03/2025 01:54

First of all, who throws up in the bathroom sink. Is she dense.

If you’ve got violent diarrhoea so you’re sat on the toilet and you’re vomiting at the same time as is common with norovirus then surely, if the sink is immediately next to the toilet, the sink is the best option? Otherwise, if the toilet was in reach I can’t see why you would use the sink! I’m just trying to think of a sensible reason 🤣

MiserableMrsMopp · 07/03/2025 06:46

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/03/2025 04:42

If you’ve got violent diarrhoea so you’re sat on the toilet and you’re vomiting at the same time as is common with norovirus then surely, if the sink is immediately next to the toilet, the sink is the best option? Otherwise, if the toilet was in reach I can’t see why you would use the sink! I’m just trying to think of a sensible reason 🤣

I don't think it was the vomiting that was the issue. It was an adult not wiping up their own vomit, leaving it for a child to come into contact with.

crackfoxy · 07/03/2025 07:41

They're unwell and your friends. If it were me I'd just clean up, make sure they're ok and hope they leave soon. Pretty sure you'll be fine

Anonym00se · 07/03/2025 08:02

Devianinc · 06/03/2025 02:31

Yes I have and and always made it to the toilet. Number1 reason being I’d continue to throw up so nothing would get done so I make massive effort to get there.

I think @Mumtobabyhavoc means that with Noro it explodes from both ends simultaneously so if you’re being sick in the toilet, you’re also likely spraying diarrhoea all over the bathroom. It makes more sense to sit on the toilet and vomit into a receptacle (if there’s one available) or indeed a sink if that’s your only option.

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/03/2025 14:14

MiserableMrsMopp · 07/03/2025 06:46

I don't think it was the vomiting that was the issue. It was an adult not wiping up their own vomit, leaving it for a child to come into contact with.

I realise that, but I was replying to someone asking ‘who throws up in the sink?’

Laura95167 · 07/03/2025 18:44

Thissucks125 · 06/03/2025 00:04

I know they've thrown up in the bathroom sink and it's all splashed around the edges. My toothbrush will be going in the bin. Just can't believe they didn't clean it. It's the only bathroom I have.

That's disgusting.

They can't help if they're ill but they wouldn't leave it in their home. Tbh I'd be asking them to clean it up or go back to a hotel

TheTavern · 07/03/2025 18:48

I would leave some cleaning products (basin, cloths, bleach, vinegar etc) outside their bedroom door or in the bathroom and if they don’t pick up the hint then tell them you would like your bathroom left the way it was when they arrived

Sharptonguedwoman · 07/03/2025 19:00

faithspikebuffy · 06/03/2025 01:23

I've had norovirus and campylobacter and never not made it to the toilet

Probably because I remember my dad fuming with me when I threw up in the sink as a child (separate toilet, the sink was closer!)

Got food poisoning once that necessitated the basin and the loo. It was vile.

Tryonemoretime · 07/03/2025 19:29

I had norovirus. It was absolutely horrible. After each bout of D and V, I managed to spray detox everywhere and slosh bleach down the loo because I didn't want my DH to catch it, but felt so terrible that I honestly wouldn't judge anyone for not doing the same. I've had food poisoning and sickness bugs in the past (I have a problem in this area) but this particular Norovirus is far worse than anything I've ever had before. No wonder so many people have been hospitalised with it.

Brokeandold · 07/03/2025 20:52

I had an email from our doctors the other day saying theres 2 types of norovirus going around, so if you have one then don’t be surprised if you are poorly more than once , its great isnt it?
With the cost of living crisis , you cant afford to take any days off,
Still we’ll be ok… look whos in charge …..

Devianinc · 07/03/2025 22:38

Laura95167 · 07/03/2025 18:44

That's disgusting.

They can't help if they're ill but they wouldn't leave it in their home. Tbh I'd be asking them to clean it up or go back to a hotel

Or they should offer a cleaning service for something like this. Especially bc she has children at home. It’s the only decent thing to do. I never leave with someone I loved or cared about and just brush off like, oh well, I was sick. It doesn’t absolve you of the responsibility of making her home whole again.

Nikki75 · 08/03/2025 01:39

Thissucks125 · 05/03/2025 23:58

On the 13th Feb I had a stomach bug. As did my daughter. recovered. Then caught a cold. On the 21st Feb we got a weird achy bug. I had a bad stomach with it (diarrhoea) she vomited. We sort of had dodgy stomachs for 4 days.

Friends staying here temporarily. They should be moving into their house next week. They've been stopping in hotels but I said they could stay here Tuesday and Wed to save money. They've started throwing up tonight. But they've blocked my sink with vomit and it's also gone allover my bathroom bin.

I feel really pissed off. I can smell sick and I have no way of unblocking the sink as i wasnt expecting them to not reach the toilet.. I dont want to catch it. I have worked 6 days out of the last 7 and I'm going in Friday morning too. So tomorrow I wanted to go to my parents for a couple of hours and do xyz. I was relying on this friend to be up and productive early. If I have anymore sick days I'll probably end up with a warning. Plus I really really don't want a sickness bug again.

I don't know why I'm writing. Just so miffed!

Tell them to clean up after themselves and sort it out.

SassyJoker · 08/03/2025 01:50

Sorry to be graphic but when I was 14 I ran to the toilet at my grandparent's house and explosively vomited in the sink (I was sick in the sink because I was hoping not to be sick and maybe splash my face with water and I'd be okay). It went everywhere but even though I continued all night to be really ill with norovirus I managed to clean up after myself. Your friend is a grown adult and should be cleaning up after herself. Luckily I was sick at my grandparent's, if I was sick at a friend's I'd be even more mortified and try my best to clean up. I'd even pay for a new toothbrush or whatever needed replacing.

FishOnTheTrain · 08/03/2025 03:00

Devianinc · 07/03/2025 22:38

Or they should offer a cleaning service for something like this. Especially bc she has children at home. It’s the only decent thing to do. I never leave with someone I loved or cared about and just brush off like, oh well, I was sick. It doesn’t absolve you of the responsibility of making her home whole again.

Do not ask a cleaning service to come if you have norovirus. It’s highly contagious and completely unfair to have a cleaning company to clean up this sort of thing.