Mom and toddler

[Toddlermama123]

Thanks to anyone who reads this long post .
Now , I am aware that it cannot be diagnosed until much later as lots of the symptoms mirror toddler behaviour but I’d like to ask for the unbiased opinion / share experiences with other toddler’s mums . My little one just turned 2 ( 25 months ) and she is my first . She has tons of words and uses them to get what she wants , lots of 2/3 word combination . She eats and sleeps well and , although shy ( only child ) , she did engage in a ball game a couple of days ago with another little girl by tossing and kicking the ball between each other . She is perfectly able to follow 2 step instructions and mimics everything. Both good expressive and receptive language .

1. she asks for food
2. If I ask pick up the glass and put it on / under the table she does it .
3. She asks questions like where’s daddy ? What’s that ? What’s that sound?
4. She answers questions : what color is the ball ? What’s /where’s that ?
5. She recognises herself in the mirror and us in pictures
6. When holding a big and small object she can identify the correct size .

She doesn’t hit , kick or bite ( so far ) , plays appropriately with toys and when she is in a bit of a mood she runs towards her teddy and hugs it ( she doesn’t get destructive or hurt herself ) . She sits for lunch and dinner . When she has a tantrum always ends within 5 minutes and seeks comfort . What concerns me is :

1. if I’d take her to do circle time she wouldn’t join ever . She would watch from afar / next to me .
2. She wouldn’t sit still to read a book at the library but prefers to explore . Yet she sits happily at home drawing .
3. She is highly anxious ( so I am ) in the way that she sobs and gasp for air when scared .
4. She has a memory of steel . She remembers where a bit of purple fluff that she found a while back was

She has always slept through the night from 7 to 6.30 since 12 months and eats fairly well , Any of these red flags rings a bell please ? There is no family history of ASD but obviously no one knows for certain and , from what I can tell , there is no quirkiness so I’d like to know how asd can develop when not genetic ? I am aware of environmental exposure but I have had a textbook pregnancy and was never exposed to anything harmful ☺️ I know that Asperger doesn’t exist anymore since 2013 as a separate diagnosis but , from what I was told by professionals, AS doesn’t present with any communication delays , just social delays and repetitive/ rigidity interests , alongside with food sensitivity and emotional outbursts . Where do we draw the line between asd and personality traits ?

But some autistic children are non verbal or have delayed speech. Similarly some children are NT and may develop speech more slowly, but then catch up and be perfectly fine. (A few of these in my family.) Your child may not do evrything like other kids but it doesn't mean she isn't NT.

@Toddlermama123 please I beg you....
get some help.
Not for your daughter but for you.
You are obsessed. Your daughter sounds normal and fine.
Get. Some. Help.
Please.
Stop posting over and over on here and book an appointment with your GP who should be able to refer you for help. For YOU.

Your daughter isn't 'flying under the radar', there's just nothing wrong with her. She not being picked up as ND, because she isn't ND

Get some help for your anxiety before you damage your child with it.

She sounds like a completely normal toddler. That level of speech, and conversation, is completely typical. And at this age, toddlers just stand and stare at each other instead of play - they don't engage in more than parallel play until after 3.

It does sound like you're fixating on this, and I completely understand the drive to do as much as possible for your kids. It doesn't sound as if she's behind in any way, so no additional therapies would be needed unless there's something you didn't detail in your OP.

Aside from the fact that she is not very good with cutlery still and she is very cautious but smiles at people when they interact with her .

Typical and normal behaviour OP. Nothing. You have said would concern me except maybe the learned behaviour of being anxious. Children that young should necessarily know that emotion and are seeing the world through your eyes. If she is having that big of a reaction it’s because she is seeing it from you. Consider how you can help her to understand this emotion .

The only ‘red flag’ is the high anxiety but from your description that could be learnt behaviour.

She also repeats herself quite a bit until I acknowledge her and i am also concerned that she doesn’t acknowledge her daddy . He has left for a business trip 3 days ago and she doesn’t mention him at all

OP everything and I will say it again EVERYTHING you have described is normal for her age.

Why are you trying so hard to turn normal toddler behaviour into something else? You need help!
Stop trying to convince everyone that theres something wrong with your child. What does your husband say? I'm hoping he is being sensible at least.

The cutlery and repetition are totally normal as well. Mine is a bit older than yours, and will repeat a phrase over and over until I say it back - they want to be acknowledged that they're heard. And cutlery is hard! A year ago they didn't even have purposeful movement of their hands, let alone fine motor skills to that degree.

Toddlers are also very much about what's in front of them, so it wouldn't be too odd she hasn't mentioned your DP if she hasn't seen him in a few days. What's their relationship like typically? Do they spend much 1:1 time together?

It's clear you care about your DD very much. Instead of worrying about therapies, why not try get out to a swim class or soccer class where you both can meet new people and see different behaviours modelled in different environments? 💐 At this age they don't make friends per say, but it can help to expose them to new situations to ease them in.

This seems pathological now. Mods - would this be considered vexatious posting?

OP, you need to get some help with your own anxiety/issues. Your daughter sounds like a perfectly lovely 2 year old. At most she might be a bit anxious but then if she’s spending a lot of time with you and you’re an anxious person she’s most likely learnt it from you.

Thank for your kind words . Yes she loves him and spend a lot of time together as he works from home most of the time so they spend a lot of time outside and on the beach . When around she always looks for him . Yes cutlery is hard she can use the fork but the spoon she still flips it . Again, thank you for your kind and understanding words . For reference , he thinks she is absolutely beautiful

At that age my daughter was biting people on the bum and growling at strangers !

Don't think you've anything to worry about

It's probably a sign that she's having too much fun with her mama to notice the absence of him.

As a fellow anxious mom it can be hard sometimes! I was convinced my eldest DC had ADHD, and signs eased massively as we came to the end of toddlerhood. They're still developing so much at this age. Celebrate your DC successes - it sounds like she has a lot! She is healthy, she is happy, she is learning at her own pace and doing brilliantly. She has a mama & dad who cares deeply, and is learning to communicate and navigate the world at a normal rate.

She sounds completely normal. My second is the same age and there’s lots of similarities. All kids are different so stop comparing your dd to other and enjoy her for who she is. My two are completely different. They have strengths and challenges in different areas. They will all do it in their own time. Keep encouraging her to interract with others. Take her to groups. Mix with friends with the same age children and you will be supporting her social skills

Hi Op, my son was diagnosed at 4. My advice is

Please get a handle on your compulsive thoughts. I got a slightly like this.

After he got his diagnosis nothing happened. We got no further support.

What are you aiming to achieve by obsessing over spotting signs?

Parent them in a supportive way.

Please please just try and enjoy your child

Everyone has told you that her behaviour is normal

Everyone has told you that your gut feeling/obsession/need to pathologise is your issue and not hers

There is no therapy available for being an individual. She doesn't meet all of the tickboxes at exactly the moment you want her to. But she meets them.

Finding cutlery difficult is not a diagnostic indicator for ASD

The boundary between personality trait and diagnosis is fuzzy but best described as interference in leading a normal life. Her behaviour is not interfering in leading a normal life. She is fine.

she sounds exactly like my very NT 5 year old daughter was at that age. I wish wish wish wish I hadn't let my anxiety take over in those first 3 years and convince me she was autistic.

Get on instagram and look for people who share tips on development/speech/phonics learning and employ some of their tips. There are some real therapists on there. Get started early if you're worried. They're all just games you can play.

E.g. a tea party where you hand cups and cakes back and forth, saying things like "is this for me? Oh, here is one for you too. I would like to red one." It's modelling pronouns I, you, me, she, he, etc. (get dolls involved)

Things like this got my daughter talking quickly (and I don't think she ever slowed down!)

Thank you for sharing your words . Hope you don’t mind me asking but why haven’t they offered any support ?

Your toddler sounds like any normal toddler, kindly, you need to get help, this is becoming obsessive.

Gently OP, what would be different right now if she did have ASD?

Nothing you are saying screams ASD to me - but realistically, unless it's so severe that it's impacting their ability to learn (which def doesn't sound like it is anywhere near that atm!) it's a wait and see...

@Toddlermama123 @Gagaandgag probably hasn't received much support because there is very limited support out there. Most support you can find on Google and it's using strategies to help parent your child...
or connecting with other parents of children with ASD

Been to GP and HV , short of going private ( which I can’t) and no one sees a problem

There you are then.
Nor does anyone on any of the 4 threads you've started in the last fortnight.

Why do you think this particular thread will get you any different answers ?