Can my family take me to court to see my children

[godfreyfour]

I have a very toxic mum and sister who I cut contact with many years ago.
I've since married and had 3 children 1, 5 and 7 who have never met them or heard anything about them we and don't live in the area.
We have dh family and the children have loving grandparents/cousins and extended family on his side.

I've always been very discrete on social media blocking anyone I didn't want to see me and keeping profiles private but it appears to have got back to them and that I have children, they've contacted me through a third party to insist I allow them to meet my children which I've declined and now the message relayed to me is that they'll see me in court because I'm preventing them from meeting grandchildren children/niece/nephews which they think they have a right to.

Are they likely to be able to have contact with my children who are completely unaware of these people and without me as I don't want any contact with them?
I really don't want to have to spend a fortune on legal fees just to keep life as it is.

Not a chance, presumably you changed your name on marriage and they don’t know where you live, so even tracking you down to issue proceedings would cost a fair bit.

My parents tried this, they also have never met my children. Nothing came of it as they have no rights whatsoever. I made one phonecall after I got the letter and made it clear they have not met my children, they will never meet my children and this is my choice for the protection of my children. All over. Don't worry yourself about it.

No. Only time they get ‘rights’ is in rare cases where they’ve been primary carers or heavily involved. It really is rare though.

OP, you haven't given us details on the toxic breakdown / relationship with your mum/sister and nor should you be obliged to.
However, if this is anything other than them being wholly awful and unreasonable and you being a saint, they can easily find a lawyer to take them on and it'll be up to the court as to whether they have access. Buckle up.

Is this true?? As other posters have said it is highly unlikely unless they have a pre existing relationship which they don’t. Where are you getting your information from?

Quite @Daisymae23

Information as wrong as that is usually pulled directly from the backside of the adviser

It sounds as if they're up to their usual toxic tricks, doesn't it? I'm not sure if you're aware, but there are plenty of people in the same situation as you hanging out on Reddit and other forums and none have ever been taken to court by relatives (even in the US). Seems as if this is just another way to "get" to you. Ignore and double down on privacy.

Ignore them, but if you can afford to, I’d see a solicitor to ask about getting a letter sent. They may then stop the harassment once they realise they don’t have a case, and that you have taken professional legal advice.

absolutely wouldn’t enter into a conversation with them and I’d block anyone who has any interaction with them.

It's only true in the sense of the process:

• Get a solicitor (if they can afford one);
• Solicitor requests leave from the family court to make an application for a Child Arrangements Order;
• If permission granted by the court, solicitor applies for a CAO.

But there's SO much more to it than this. With OP's mother and sister having had no relationship whatsoever with her DC, they are unlikely to even be given leave to apply for a CAO, much less actually secure one, and I think it's likely the process would stall at the first step because the solicitor would advise them of the poor chance of success.
The pp's "buckle up" advice is ludicrous.

I doubt they will bother at this point as they have done nothing in the 7 years since their first grandchild was born.

If they do, they will have to get a certificate of mediation first. They will not be refused mediation. OP can refuse but that means they will get the certificate without going through mediation.

The next stage is to apply to the court for leave to apply for a CAO. Again, anyone can do this. It will get to at least this stage. They can apply for a CAO at the same time ie the forms can be sent In together. Technically, they shouldn’t be granted leave as they don’t meet the criteria but that doesn’t mean the court won’t want a report from CAFCAS or won’t grant leave to make sure it is in the DC’s best interest to have no contact with their DGPs. It really depends what the DGPs say on the forms… If OP wants legal advice, it could easily cost £5k up to this stage.

It’s unlikely that they would get contact but not impossible that they would get a few hours or letterbox contact. It only costs a few hundred pounds to apply to the court and for the mediation if they don’t use a solicitor and/or barrister. It will probably come to nothing but OP could be in for a whole lot of (potentially expensive) hassle and stress.

There are threads in legal (and from the other side on Gransnet), you might want to read.

She doesn't need to buckle up as there is no legal precedent at all for her parents to gain access to her children through the legal system. At all. They have no existing relationship with them at all and are no contact with OP.

Theres zero chance of them gaining access legally, there is no precedent, so to tell OP to 'buckle up' is unfair and unkind.

@KnickerFolder "There are threads in legal (and from the other side on Gransnet), you might want to read." I don't need to.

They can take you to court but they need to prove they had an active role in the children's life and you blocking contact has had a negative affect on the children. Court is all about what's best for the children.

Of course it could happen that they win but the reality is they have no chance.

Tbf the op hasn't blocked contact. There has been no contact because the relationship is so non-existent that the relatives didn't know about the existence of the OPs children. Which serves to underline how vanishingly unlikely it is that they would get anywhere with this idea of a legal route to force a relationship.

It's all about trying to exert control on the OP. Totally ignoring it and cutting off this distant friend so that source of second hand info is no longer available to them is the best response to this.

@KnickerFolder The OP can get legal advice cheaper than that if she needs it.

Barristers can give you advice directly, which is much cheaper than paying a solicitor who then may have to schedule you an appointment with a barrister.

A PP has pointed out that the OP is unlikely to be sanctioned if she refuses to comply with the Court Order, and from the other boards I know this is true.

I'm not sure why everyone is trying to scare the OP.

I’m not trying to scare OP. It’s probably an empty threat, as I keep repeating. They haven’t done anything for 7 years, I doubt they will now. It is incorrect of PPs to say that they can’t take her to court though or that absolutely nothing will come of it if they do. If I were OP, I would want to know the worst case scenario so I am prepared if they go ahead.

Even though they have no chance of winning it's not as low a chance they will get leave to apply to court.

They won't have to prove a pre existing meaningful relationship with the children to get leave to apply. They just have to claim it and a judge decision that if what they say is true it warrants a hearing. Then in court they will have to prove it which they won't be able to do. And you will be able to detail why they would be harmful to the children's well-being should they have contact.

Get advice from a solicitor to set your mind at ease. Most do a free half hour appointment.

There is some fear mongering on this thread. We could be anyone we are not family law solicitors. We could even be estranged grandparents with a chip on our shoulder. Responses are overwhelming this isn't something to be worried about and many posters saying this are clearly knowledgeable of the process. Google the things they said to reassure yourself.

I think my point is. If it does make it to court (unlikely but possible) that doesn't mean they will win contact. The family court is there to serve the best interests of children so if they make a good application then yes a good judge would want to look at the case. It would of course be damaging to children who have important meaningful relationships with grandparent to have that cut off- so these cases do get heard. There are examples in this thread of grandparents with such relationships winning contact. But these relationships need to be evidenced extremely well. It's not like an estranged father getting contact regardless of abusing the mother as we hear about all the time. Parent relationships with a child is presumed to be beneficial at a detrimental level to some kids. This isn't parent child so it's not a case you have to prove it would be incredibly harmful and if there is any doubt contact is automatically awarded - like you would if this was a parent wanting access. They will be the ones having to prove meaningful relationship and if there is doubt then it will fall on the parents favour.

So if it does go to court don't be scared. Leave to apply for a COA is not going to lead to a CAO

As others have said - they don’t have a pre-existing relationship with the children so it is not in their best interests, so they stand no chance.
I would let the messenger know that if they try to take you to court then you will be telling the court the full details of why you went NC. Toxic people don’t like people knowing who they truly are so I can almost guarantee when that gets back to them they will back off. Then block your friend - they aren’t your friend, they’ve jumped ship to your family’s side.

As far as I know, they can seek legal advice to pursue this but they won’t get very far. They probably won’t bother with that once they realise the cost and the likelihood of it not their way.

The sense of entitlement with people like this is staggering. Why in the name of arse do they think they have any kind of right to meet your children after all this time of there being no contact between you and them? I’m assuming it’s some kind of control/mind game on their part.

Honestly, the mistake you made was declining. You should never have engaged at all. Ignore the message entirely, no reply. By declining you confirmed that your kids exist and that you can be reached through that person.

Absolutely nothing would come of it though.

There is no legal precedent whatsoever in the UK that would give grandparents who are no contact with a parent, with no relationship with the grandchildren to the extent they've never met them, access to those children against the parents wishes.

It is right to tell OP that. There is zero chance it would be granted.

I think you are mistaking me for the PP who said that they would get contact. As I have said, I don’t think they will go ahead or, if they do, get court ordered contact. There are plenty of posters saying that the court won’t entertain it though, which is incorrect. If they do decide to apply for a CAO, OP and her DC may be dragged through a stressful and expensive (if they chose to use a solicitor and/or barrister) process. It is probably an empty threat though. But forewarned is forearmed.

And if you'd bothered to RTFT you'd have seen that several of us have already given OP the factual information she needs to be forewarned about the legal process, whilst reassuring her that the chances of anything coming of it are unlikely in the extreme. My own first post two days ago:
AngelicKaty · 05/03/2025 14:44
Grandparents have no automatic right to see their grandchildren in the UK OP. However, if you can't make an informal agreement through mediation (which I'm sure you wouldn't want to do) they can ask for permission ("leave") from the family court to request a Child Arrangements Order and if granted permission, they can then make an application to the court for the order. You can find out more information about it here: https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/what-rights-do-grandparents-have-to-see-their-grandchildren/

Sorry but you are incorrect. There are cases now where the grandparents have been able to show that they have been in their grandchildren’s lives since they were born. Not rare at all.

As others have said, they have no realistic chance of success if you’re in England.

There IS a legal process they can follow but they will find they don’t get very far. Even if it gets to court they will not get contact.

You did well to get away from these people.