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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I really want this job but is this a red flag?

159 replies

sundayclean · 04/03/2025 11:16

I'm looking for a new job and have been invited to attend an interview this Thursday at 2:30. Unfortunately I have a dentist appointment on Thursday at 2pm which has been booked for well over a month. I have an NHS dentist and they are very very strict with cancelling and rescheduling appointments. I cancelled once last year (first time in 7 yrs) due to an emergency and they said if it happened again then I would be taken off the register. It's not great but I only stay with them as I can't afford to go private.

Anyway, I spoke with the hiring manager at the beginning of last week and she contacted yesterday to arrange the interview. In all fairness I never mentioned my appointment when I initially spoke to her as it just slipped my mind but she also didn't mention what day the interviews would be on if I was successful getting to the next stage.

I've asked if she can accommodate another day/time to which she's said no. I really want this job, but she does seem a bit inflexible/awkward. Or am I the one being awkward? I don't really want to risk losing my dentist for a job that I might not even get and I think expecting someone to cancel a prior appointment with 3 days notice is a bit unreasonable. Would this put you off?

OP posts:
Humblemush · 04/03/2025 16:34

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PuppyMonkey · 04/03/2025 16:40

Blimey, getting struck off the dentist simply for trying to reschedule an appointment sounds a bit OTT. What if you’ve been run over by a bus or kidnapped by aliens? Grin

LadyNairne · 04/03/2025 16:51

sundayclean · 04/03/2025 14:51

@LadyNairne thank you for this, that's really helpful. Out of curiosity, how much notice do you normally give candidates? I know you mentioned that you only offer 1 slot but would you give them more than 3 days notice so that they could try and book time off work or rearrange a prior commitment etc? I know many employers expect at least 1 week's notice for staff to take time off work.

I usually give a one week notice for interview slots.

For a 30 minute video interview honestly I’d expect the candidate to just take time out fo their job (eg a late lunch hour) to do it rather than a whole day off work, but that is perhaps the level and sector we work in.

Would your NHS dentist strike you off if you couldn’t attend your appointment due to an emergency? Do they need to know the reason?

godmum56 · 04/03/2025 17:12

To those who are asking about the dentist, The Op had already previously completely missed an appointment so is on a last chance.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 04/03/2025 17:31

sundayclean · 04/03/2025 13:55

@Midlifecrisisxamillion well I was very interested in the job, but as mentioned previously, I didn't want to risk losing my dentist or delaying my treatment after waiting over a month to be seen. I didn't really have much choice.

I think you should contact them, say you were very sorry to pull out due to dental treatment appointment (stressing not just a routine appt) how interested you were in the post and that you would be interested to hear from them if the position does not get filled.

You never know!

But I would say this isn’t necessarily a red flag for the organisation as it can be very hard to get an interview panel together.

iolaus · 04/03/2025 17:41

Thing is depending on what job you are going for they may not particularly care about having the best person ever for the job, they just want someone good enough so will pick out of the ones they have on the day they are interviewing

Hoppinggreen · 04/03/2025 17:46

When I have done job interviews as an employer sometimes I put aside a day or 2 afternoons or similar and as long as I had enough good candidates for those times I wouldn't accommodate anyone at another time.
Sorry OP but interviewers are often very busy and if there are good candidates that can make the required slots there is no reason for them to offer you an alternative.

ZippyDoodle · 04/03/2025 19:38

No mention of next interview, three days notice and no flexibility?!

Nah, I think you've done the right thing.

Bearbookagainandagain · 04/03/2025 20:43

YesImawitch · 04/03/2025 15:04

Absolutely this
Tbh flaky candidates who have zero idea about recruitment policies or KPIs and would expect an interview at their convenience keeping 5 or so other candidates waiting for a week or so -bottom of the list.
It shows naivety about the working environment.

YOUR recruitment policies maybe. Other employers (all of them actually, in my personal experience) show way more flexibility because it is completely stupid to lose a potential good candidate for a reason so banal.

Calling others "naive" for expecting minimum of respect for people's time really shows how patronising and controlling you would be as an employer. It is a red flag.

largeprintagathachristie · 04/03/2025 20:54

It can be a nightmare with diaries to get an interview panel together in the first place. We have x3 on a panel.

You can also lose good candidates if you have a wait a few days to accommodate someone who can’t make it. If indeed the people on the panel can even find another slot.

So I do see why there might have been reluctance.

I would have tried special pleading with the dentist, at least in the first instance.

IDontHateRainbows · 04/03/2025 22:26

The entitlement of some people on this thread is astounding - no a prospective employer doesn't have to 'wait' for you to be available, and there's nothing wrong with them if they don't. Unless you have a very specialised skill set there'll be plenty of other good candidates to choose from. By the sounds of it, they probably had a lucky escape. Imagine being this entitled in the workplace!

Solypim · 05/03/2025 08:23

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ZippyDoodle · 05/03/2025 08:36

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The dental appointment has been arranged for a month. The Op has an infection in her tooth and needs a root canal.

I think I would be prioritising that over an employer who gives you a couple of days notice for an interview and no other option. Not everyone can get time off work at such short notice.

Yes, she is working. Perhaps read the thread?

Solypim · 05/03/2025 08:38

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Solypim · 05/03/2025 08:39

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SwingLifeAway · 05/03/2025 08:41

Misaster · 04/03/2025 11:30

Likewise, an employer could hope an employee wouldn’t hold this against them!

ultimately the ball is completely and utterly in their court op

The employee isn’t getting much chance to hold it against the employer if they won’t reschedule the interview!

Solypim · 05/03/2025 08:42

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nj32 · 05/03/2025 08:43

The NHS for example set a side one day to interview candidates so if that doesn't suit, they won't accommodate.

godmum56 · 05/03/2025 08:47

Bearbookagainandagain · 04/03/2025 20:43

YOUR recruitment policies maybe. Other employers (all of them actually, in my personal experience) show way more flexibility because it is completely stupid to lose a potential good candidate for a reason so banal.

Calling others "naive" for expecting minimum of respect for people's time really shows how patronising and controlling you would be as an employer. It is a red flag.

that depends surely on how many good or better candidates you have? If one candidate who isn't a standout can't make the offered slot and you KNOW you will be turning candidates down then why waste your time and theirs?

godmum56 · 05/03/2025 08:49

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from experience, this may not be the case, just that there are many more candidates as good as the OP than they have jobs to offer.

Solypim · 05/03/2025 08:50

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godmum56 · 05/03/2025 08:54

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no, you said that they had already decided who would get the job which is different from having more good candidates than you have jobs to offer.

Solypim · 05/03/2025 08:58

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godmum56 · 05/03/2025 09:00

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I don't care

Solypim · 05/03/2025 09:01

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