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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I really want this job but is this a red flag?

159 replies

sundayclean · 04/03/2025 11:16

I'm looking for a new job and have been invited to attend an interview this Thursday at 2:30. Unfortunately I have a dentist appointment on Thursday at 2pm which has been booked for well over a month. I have an NHS dentist and they are very very strict with cancelling and rescheduling appointments. I cancelled once last year (first time in 7 yrs) due to an emergency and they said if it happened again then I would be taken off the register. It's not great but I only stay with them as I can't afford to go private.

Anyway, I spoke with the hiring manager at the beginning of last week and she contacted yesterday to arrange the interview. In all fairness I never mentioned my appointment when I initially spoke to her as it just slipped my mind but she also didn't mention what day the interviews would be on if I was successful getting to the next stage.

I've asked if she can accommodate another day/time to which she's said no. I really want this job, but she does seem a bit inflexible/awkward. Or am I the one being awkward? I don't really want to risk losing my dentist for a job that I might not even get and I think expecting someone to cancel a prior appointment with 3 days notice is a bit unreasonable. Would this put you off?

OP posts:
sundayclean · 04/03/2025 14:26

@Midlifecrisisxamillion oh dear, ok. There's clearly no reasoning with you.

OP posts:
Midlifecrisisxamillion · 04/03/2025 14:30

sundayclean · 04/03/2025 14:26

@Midlifecrisisxamillion oh dear, ok. There's clearly no reasoning with you.

Because we have a difference of opinion?

tallhotpinkflamingo · 04/03/2025 14:33

Withdrawing was the right thing to do, because if they're like this about the interview imagine how much worse they'll be about other things.

My job refused to let me book annual leave for an appointment and I ended up in hospital because it got so bad. It's not worth it.

They obviously don't care about their employees, I can't stand places that treat you like you're at school and they own you. It will be policies about when you can eat, when you can go to the toilet. Even had a morning register at one place.

Definitely a lucky escape.

menopause59 · 04/03/2025 14:37

What happens if you wake up the morning of the dentist and you have been struck down with sickness, surely you can rearrange they wouldn't want you in the surgery spreading your germs

IDontHateRainbows · 04/03/2025 14:46

I've had interviews where senior people from different locations all wanted to be in a particular office to do a day of interviewing, often at final stage. To rearrange the interview it would mean seriously messing with their schedule and they are well within their rights to say no, it's not worth doing that to see one extra candidate. No red flags - just bad luck.

sundayclean · 04/03/2025 14:51

@LadyNairne thank you for this, that's really helpful. Out of curiosity, how much notice do you normally give candidates? I know you mentioned that you only offer 1 slot but would you give them more than 3 days notice so that they could try and book time off work or rearrange a prior commitment etc? I know many employers expect at least 1 week's notice for staff to take time off work.

OP posts:
LittleCharlotte · 04/03/2025 14:53

The suggestion you go to a private dentist instead is laughable. Very few people can afford that.

I'm sorry OP. To refuse to move around a medical appointment is really poor so I think you're best off away from this company. I know the pain of toothache and you have my sympathies. I hope you get sorted soon but I also think you should report your dentist practice for being so incredibly harsh, not even allowing people to change appointments. It's appalling.

Ashshandmaid · 04/03/2025 14:56

It would be a red flag for me.

Panicmode1 · 04/03/2025 15:02

I received an invitation to an interview for Thursday morning, on Tuesday at 4pm - during half term, when I was away. I emailed back and said I was very sorry, but I couldn't make it because I was on holiday but gave three or four days the following week when I could interview (it had to be in person). They withdrew my application. I assume that they had an internal candidate because I think giving someone less than 48 hours notice of an in person interview, and then refusing to accommodate or even allow a shortlisted candidate to interview, was meant to make it impossible. At least you were shortlisted - it's flipping tough out there so well done!

YesImawitch · 04/03/2025 15:04

Ihopeyouhavent · 04/03/2025 14:21

I've worked in recruitment and this isnt a red flag.

It means they have a schedule of interview dates, with rooms booked , interviewers lined up etc. There's a deadline of when the interviews take place, washups and offers made. Schedules cant be changed just because 1 candidate cant attend.

Its unfortunate, but happens all the time.

Absolutely this
Tbh flaky candidates who have zero idea about recruitment policies or KPIs and would expect an interview at their convenience keeping 5 or so other candidates waiting for a week or so -bottom of the list.
It shows naivety about the working environment.

CatsorDogsrule · 04/03/2025 15:06

Your last dental appt cancellation was an emergency, so presumably very short notice. 3 days notice is unlikely to fall into the same category and unlikely to be considered another strike against you as they will easily fill the appointment.

A moot point now as you've withdrawn your job application. Good luck with the treatment and finding another job.

sundayclean · 04/03/2025 15:07

@Ihopeyouhavent @YesImawitch but surely you give candidates more than 3 days notice? Many employers, including my own, expect at least 1 weeks notice to take time off work.

OP posts:
sundayclean · 04/03/2025 15:10

@CatsorDogsrule it doesn't really matter though, even with a few days notice they will take you off the register. It's poor I agree, but that's just how NHS dentists are now. They have people fighting to get on the list so they don't care.

OP posts:
Panicmode1 · 04/03/2025 15:12

YesImawitch · 04/03/2025 15:04

Absolutely this
Tbh flaky candidates who have zero idea about recruitment policies or KPIs and would expect an interview at their convenience keeping 5 or so other candidates waiting for a week or so -bottom of the list.
It shows naivety about the working environment.

We give at least a week's notice for interviews - and I often have to co-ordinate 3 senior partners' diaries as well as a candidate's availability. I think it's unreasonable to give less than 2 or 3 days notice and expect a candidate to be able to attend, especially for an in person interview. If they are already working, then in many places, it's almost impossible to take time off within that timeframe.

Isobel201 · 04/03/2025 15:25

I gave up on NHS dentists years ago, I pay monthly for a medical plan which gives cashback for things like dentists and opticians, so you may find that's more affordable?

godmum56 · 04/03/2025 15:26

LadyNairne · 04/03/2025 14:23

I’ve done a lot of hiring and organising of job interviews in my professional life. At my current large company we need 3 managers plus 1 HR person for a panel even for junior positions.

I will shortlist usually a maximum of 4 candidates for interview so we will schedule 2.5 - 3 hours in the calendars of the 4 staffs members to do 4 x back to back 30 minute interviews followed by 30 minutes to discuss the candidates, compare our scores and make our decision for HR to take forward.

Persuading 4 staff members to give up 3 hours then fitting this time into their schedules is hard and especially as the panel has certain diversity and seniority requirements.

I therefore give the interviewees zero choice on intervirw time. If one candidate was outstanding, and my top choice on paper, I might be a little flexible but not for the others. Just can’t manage it. If one drops out generally I think it makes my choice easier as I then only have to do 3 interviews not 4.

Sorry it’s so brutal but I hope this helps explain why it’s not necessarily a red flag about a company or organisation rather just down to practical time pressures.

this, as I said earlier

Panicmode1 · 04/03/2025 15:34

But how much notice do you give of the interviews - if you are asking people to attend an interview with 24-48 hours notice, I'm not sure that is reasonable. Completely understand that it takes time to organise diaries - but if the job advert doesn't state interview dates, then I think it is a bit harsh to not allow SOME flexibility......

faithspikebuffy · 04/03/2025 15:38

I applied for one recently and currently my work isn't flexible so I can't just take time out for an interview
They immediately offered me an evening slot for interview if I couldn't make the day one

Hotflushesandchilblains · 04/03/2025 15:51

it varies depending on the type of job. If there are a lot of vacancies, and a rolling recruitment, then yes, it is unreasonable. But that is rare - it is more likely that the panel of people who are going to interview have had to coordinate their diaries, cancel and rearrange their other work, coordinate a number of people to attend, and try to fit in everyone to the times available. If I were interviewing 5 people for a job in those circumstances, I would have the same reaction.

GRex · 04/03/2025 16:02

The dentist can reschedule, the issue will be with you not turning up to previous appointments (most likely) or cancelling on the day many times.

The employer can offer times, but it is a bit weird to offer only one slot. I would expect them to open up alternatives early morning, evening or next week if you can't make Thursday, but that you would then make sure you can attend. Either they are very inflexible, or you are low on the recruiter's list but they are putting you through to make up the numbers.

Tricho · 04/03/2025 16:03

I had this happen. I also really wanted the job so moved my appointment.

I got the job.

It was fucking hell on earth and the worst culture I've ever know. I lasted 3 months.

Proceed with caution.

godmum56 · 04/03/2025 16:05

Panicmode1 · 04/03/2025 15:02

I received an invitation to an interview for Thursday morning, on Tuesday at 4pm - during half term, when I was away. I emailed back and said I was very sorry, but I couldn't make it because I was on holiday but gave three or four days the following week when I could interview (it had to be in person). They withdrew my application. I assume that they had an internal candidate because I think giving someone less than 48 hours notice of an in person interview, and then refusing to accommodate or even allow a shortlisted candidate to interview, was meant to make it impossible. At least you were shortlisted - it's flipping tough out there so well done!

it might have meant that they had quite a few shortlisted candidates with equal qualifications.

godmum56 · 04/03/2025 16:06

GRex · 04/03/2025 16:02

The dentist can reschedule, the issue will be with you not turning up to previous appointments (most likely) or cancelling on the day many times.

The employer can offer times, but it is a bit weird to offer only one slot. I would expect them to open up alternatives early morning, evening or next week if you can't make Thursday, but that you would then make sure you can attend. Either they are very inflexible, or you are low on the recruiter's list but they are putting you through to make up the numbers.

it might have meant that they had quite a few shortlisted candidates with equal qualifications.

Panicmode1 · 04/03/2025 16:24

Is it a private v public sector thing? I have only ever worked in the private sector -this job was in the public sector. My brother works for them and said it's very common that they are inflexible.

That said, I have another public sector interview tomorrow and was given a week's notice of two days for interviews so have been able to arrange things accordingly. I still think, that if you only give 24-48 hours notice and no other options, and there hasn't been prior notice of the interview dates, that it is unreasonable.

Or, maybe this is just how things are now - I'm in my mid 50s so am less used to the 'computer says no' situation that seems to be how recruitment is done in today's job market. (My DH is currently job seeking after redundancy and it's utterly hideous - and no-one seems to have any manners nowadays).

Humblemush · 04/03/2025 16:32

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