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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son had just squared up to me

83 replies

Jewel1234 · 03/03/2025 21:48

Advise my 15 year old son keeps getting angry out burst he’s just squared up to me and went to hit his older sister

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 03/03/2025 22:13

No advice just hugs

Scutterbug · 03/03/2025 22:13

What did you do?

PoopingAllTheWay · 03/03/2025 22:14

What has been the consequence of his actions?

Flipslop · 03/03/2025 22:16

Ahh that’s really hard. Try not to panic is all I’d say, he needs some help with regulating his emotions and behaviour, look at the behaviour and not the person as they say.
any context around the build up / issues he might be struggling with? Are you lone parenting?

Chiseltip · 03/03/2025 22:20

Call the police, he needs to be arrested.

Once an abuser, always an abuser. He will do this to his partners as well.

Porcuporpoise · 03/03/2025 22:22

Why?

CharlotteCChapel · 03/03/2025 22:24

Give him a chance to cool off and go and talk to him. Don't lecture and don't interrupt when he talks. Teenage years are hard for children. Is there an adult make that he could talk to as well.

Gustavo77 · 03/03/2025 22:25

What did you do? These things don't just happen out of nowhere.

Gustavo77 · 03/03/2025 22:26

Chiseltip · 03/03/2025 22:20

Call the police, he needs to be arrested.

Once an abuser, always an abuser. He will do this to his partners as well.

Don't be completely ridiculous. Talk about overreacting!

offmynut · 03/03/2025 22:26

I would do this.
Get the heaviest pan you own next time and tell him you aint playing hit me or your sister see what happens.
Want to be a big man try it or do you think women cant defend there selfs.
Your a little boy to big for your boots so sit the fuck down or get the fuck out.
Id scare him even if i scared myself but i would stand my bloody ground.

Alternatively call the police your not going to take it from a grown man so dont take it from your own child.

DorothyStorm · 03/03/2025 22:27

Gustavo77 · 03/03/2025 22:25

What did you do? These things don't just happen out of nowhere.

Wow. Just wow.

Flipslop · 03/03/2025 22:27

Chiseltip · 03/03/2025 22:20

Call the police, he needs to be arrested.

Once an abuser, always an abuser. He will do this to his partners as well.

Jesus Christ! What a way to take a sledge hammer to their relationship.
his behaviour is unacceptable of course however he is a CHILD and we have zero context as to what might have led to him feeling so out of control.

Squeakpopcorn · 03/03/2025 22:28

There is some extreme advicebon this thead. What lead up to this point today?

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 03/03/2025 22:28

Honestly, just go to bed.

This day is fucked. go to bed.

Talk to him tomorrow.

Northernladdette · 03/03/2025 22:29

Cry, then he'll realise he's done wrong 😢

Flipslop · 03/03/2025 22:29

offmynut · 03/03/2025 22:26

I would do this.
Get the heaviest pan you own next time and tell him you aint playing hit me or your sister see what happens.
Want to be a big man try it or do you think women cant defend there selfs.
Your a little boy to big for your boots so sit the fuck down or get the fuck out.
Id scare him even if i scared myself but i would stand my bloody ground.

Alternatively call the police your not going to take it from a grown man so dont take it from your own child.

In which case you have less maturity than a 15 year old and would be teaching him that you agree violence is a solid solution to issues.

Flipslop · 03/03/2025 22:30

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 03/03/2025 22:28

Honestly, just go to bed.

This day is fucked. go to bed.

Talk to him tomorrow.

Yep, this. Take a breather

mikado1 · 03/03/2025 22:30

What happened just before this?
How is usually in terms of mood, reactions, your relationship?
Is this totally out of the blue or what is his temperament like?
I would be having a good chat with him, he may be ashamed, apologetic etc but I'd be very clear that is completely unacceptable etc. Not minimising and taking a firm hand but also remaining close and depending on hopefully a good and close relationship to get you through what is obviously a tough time.

DorothyStorm · 03/03/2025 22:31

What was happening in the build uo to this? What you want is to manage the situation more successfully before this point. What is he like normally? Is he hard working? Does he have a job? Hobbies? Hiw old is your ddughter? She needs protecting. Id play holyhell if my ds was physical towards his sister. He would lose privileges, phone etc and hear about why it is unacceptable.

where is his dad tonight and what is he like?

AdoraBell · 03/03/2025 22:31

Is his father there? He can talk to him about it.

NC28 · 03/03/2025 22:31

Gustavo77 · 03/03/2025 22:25

What did you do? These things don't just happen out of nowhere.

Fuck off, absolute clown.

Nevertrustacop · 03/03/2025 22:32

Did he hit his sister or did he stop himself from hitting her? I'm not clear. Also what does squared up mean? Looked at you aggressively? Shouted? Tbh if he was feeling angry and controlled himself enough to not hit and back down, then that is really something good you can work with.

ArtTheClown · 03/03/2025 22:33

I would consider the police. He's a danger to his sister.

Dillydollydingdong · 03/03/2025 22:34

He's not a child. He's probably taller and heavier than his mother, and he's old enough to know right from wrong. This needs to be nipped in the bud.

HRTQueen · 03/03/2025 22:36

I had this with ds

he got so angry and it was like a power play between us (single mum) that had been building up

it did pass

i agree with go to bed talk tomorrow and consequences have to be something that works for him