To be a bit disappointed with my birthday present?

[MinesaBottle]

I know I probably am. But anyway - my birthday was recently and weeks before I asked my husband quite specifically for an artwork I like (as in, a print of it), framed. He seemed to have understood and (probably stupidly) I was so looking forward to receiving this and thinking where I’d put it etc. Also we’re trying not to spend much at the moment so this would have been good as it didn’t cost much.

Anyway on the day he got me an experience at a spa - which is wonderful in so many ways - but isn’t what I asked for and cost way more. Obviously I haven’t told him how disappointed I was that I didn’t get the gift I’d set my heart on, and I know he thought he was doing something lovely, which he was of course! AIBU to feel a bit annoyed and let down but also like I’m being really ungrateful? He’s a lovely lovely person but not always the greatest with presents!

Just buy it yourself.

This.

I guess I’ll have to.

YANBU. It is a bit lazy and arrogant. You specifically told him what you wanted and he either thought he knew better or didn't care enough to remember.

An actual present you can cherish forever is very different to an experience gone in a weekend.

I would be very disappointed also.
I feel like PP saying to buy it yourself are kind of missing the point. You CAN buy it yourself, sure... But you had a whole conversation with him about it. And it's not even like you were wanting him to spend more money on the art than the weekend cost.

Yabu, it's not as though he got you nothing

Sorry OP yabu. Enjoy the spa day.

He probably thought he was doing a really nice thing and getting something more ‘special’ for you.

YANBU, how much easier can you make gift giving?

Seeming to understand is not the same as he fully understood. Miscommunication. Anyway , Yabu, he got you something . You even said he’s not good at presents . But that was a nice one .

Is there a possibility that he forgot to order it in time, so had to resort to an online voucher? Just ask him why he didn’t get what you asked so you can sort those hurdles out for the future.

Yeah he did think he was getting something better for me, which is why I will never ever let on I was disappointed! I don’t really understand why, if someone asks you what you’d like or you tell them what you’d like, if it’s reasonable, they wouldn’t just get you that. I will enjoy it of course and he’ll never know I was sad about not getting what I asked for, but hey ho, I’ll get it myself.

If I am that set on a specific thing I buy it myself, I really dont see the point of 'here is the specific details of this exact thing so you need to buy it for me so I can say you got it for my birthday' just buy what you want, and yes my husband does the same for himself as I do

Did he think you had deliberately chosen something cheaper and he wanted to spoil you?

Just drop some massive hints next time. Tbh these spa experiences tend to be overpriced.

Sometimes it’s nice to feel like you’ve been listened to and given something the giver knows you’d love. I’m not a massive spa person - not that I won’t enjoy it though.

I would have thought that he didn't like the artwork so rather than tell you it was bloody awful in his opinion, he got you something else?🤷🏼‍♀️

I hate spas myself but if someone wants to go down the line of telling a person to only buy them a specific thing it doesnt really show the other person knows them that well in the first place

Maybe he had already booked the spa. Given that you shared your print idea “weeks ago”

you enjoyed the spa.

he didn’t buy your a new sauce pan.
or grout cleaner.

put some money aside for the print, and buy it.

YANBU at all. Same happened to me and I was so excited and then so disappointed.

One year, my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said I there was a limited edition print I really wanted. I even sent him a link to it. I really wanted that print. I told him, if he didn't want to buy it, if there was something else he was thinking of getting me, let me know and I would buy it myself.

He didn't buy it for me. By the time I found out, the limited edition print had sold out.

Luckily, a couple of years later, the print came up for sale again as an artists' proof. This time, I just bought it myself.

Oh that’s so frustrating! I’m glad you got the proof in the end. If he’d already booked it he could’ve let me know he had other plans and that would’ve been fine - he let me think he’d listened to me. Oh well.

YABU- sounds like he wanted to treat you to something nice. For some people the gift also need to be liked by the person giving it so maybe he thought you might enjoy a Spa day more.
Dont be ungrateful.

Enjoy the spa trip together, life is short! Don’t take him for granted.

Maybe he was just trying to treat you. He could see you were trying to give him a cheaper option but he wanted to spoil you and use his initiative.

I'm torn. On one hand, he should have paid attention to what you said you wanted. But on the other he has meant well, perhaps he thought he was spoilng you!

My husband has a tendency to spend loads on my birthdays but not always exactly what I'd love. I've started actually asking for stuff now and sending him links (all low cost things, I'd rather have cheaper things I actually want) 🤣

Oh he absolutely meant well! This is about how I received it, I know that. I’m aware it’s a bit ungrateful but I know if I got him something he didn’t really want he would let me know (kindly, but still).