To cater the funeral myself? WWYD

[InALonelyWorld]

My DGM passed away recently and funeral discussions are under way.

The subject of catering a small buffet for the wake was mentioned and DGD wants to use the same one as we did last year for DU. However i recall that it was quite expensive and the amount of food was quite poor quality and some of it was inedible. Im considering doing it myself but don't know if it might be impractical.

I'm finding it easier to deal with the grief in a "keeping busy" type way, i have young DC at home and I'm a lone parent so the show has no choice but to go on here. Although I really struggle with rushing around and I'm a little bit concerned that if I do this that I'm going to be rushing around on the day and end up frazzled by sorting out food, getting myself and DC ready and getting to DGD for the cars leaving.

Maybe I'm overthinking but WWYD? Also any ideas on doing a minimal effort but decent standard buffet would be great?

Use one of the supermarkets and pre order it all ready made. Sandwiches etc......

It will be too much for you to prepare on the day. Or ask around for a better caterer. Locally (south coast) they are about £8 per head for a standard buffet.

Honestly, just don't.

Get catered food brought in or go to the local pub they ususally cater buffets for funerals.

My first question would be where is the wake being held? In a commercial or public location would you need a hygiene cert etc or public indemnity insurance.

My second though is that with wakes you rarely know how many people will be turning up, or what dietary issues they might have. A cafe / restaurant/ professional caterer will have a better idea of how to handle that.

It's the stress on the day I'd want to avoid. As above posts have said, either use a different caterer - ask around for recommendations - or buy the platters of sandwiches that supermarkets, M& S and so on do and get them delivered.

Order sandwich/buffet trays from Morrisons or M&S. Easy peasy and super reasonable.

It's too much to manage yourself but equally it'll piss you off at a sad time if you go with the expensive option. And you've already pegged it as expensive so your brain will get stuck here. You could find an alternative real-life caterer but they might let you down too. Just take the easy option this time.

I think it depends how many people, the venue and the budget.
You could cook a roast ham/gammon and just get a load of nice bread, then make up a few salads, Ientil, beetroot and feta, green salad, bean salad, coleslaw etc. or you could ask some of the family to make/bring something as well?
I'm sure your food would be nicer than a catering firm. But you mustn't put yourself under too much pressure!

We DIY funerals in my family. It's a keeping-busy, mutual support exercise. We do buy supermarket stuff, though, otherwise it could all disappear down the vortex of performance cookery.

Good point about hired venues and hygiene laws; supermarket platters must be certified, so that's an appealing compromise.

It was my mums funeral last week we had a catered buffet at a venue ,whilst the food was plentiful it was quite basic
The problem with catering yourself is you don't know how many you will be catering for there well be some people who can't go on to the buffet etc
I would just get caterr,s in they will have have an idea of what is enough food
Whilst I wasent overly impressed last week there was enough food for everyone.

No I wouldn’t cater it yourself- too much pressure and others probably wouldn’t like the idea. You’re well within your rights to say no to the idea of the previous caterer though - just point out that the food was very poor and suggest a couple of other options. Also, M&S and Waitrose have catering options that can be ordered.

Echo the advice above. One tip if you cater at home..borrow some extra teapots and maybe extra kettles.

The issue you have is numbers. That's the thing about funerals, unlike other events you are never sure who is going to come, and out of those who do, who is going to want to come back for tea, sandwiches and cake.

When my dad died last year we spoke to a local hotel who did funeral teas all the time, they asked us to guesstimate as a starting point and said that if there were more people turned up than expected they would just bring more food out. It would be really hard doing that yourself but I completely understand why you'd want to.

The wake will be at our local (old working mans type) pub, which is just around the corner location wise. They don't provide catering or anything in house. Its just going to be a small family only funeral but the wake will be in the public part of the pub, rather than in a private function room, so the buffet would be a free for all so things wouldnt go to waste but we ideally want it to be without the added "per head" cost for the locals who happen to be in the pub.

What would a supermarket be able to provide? There isn't a lot of other options locally that are available.

For DH funeral last year we had a private function room at a pub with a hot and cold buffet. The room hire was free if we used their catering. They were able to prepare the food fresh while we were at the funeral. If you'll be running around getting young DC and yourself ready then I wouldn't do it myself. As well as all that, you'll have to prepare it well in advance and either have somewhere to store it (if at home), or worry about delivering it.

Sorry for your loss OP.

Maybe your local bakery could do sandwiches to order, plus sausage rolls, cakes etc.

Most supermarkets will do platters of sandwiches, then you just buy ready made quiche/crisps/cakes etc. Whatever you fancy.

We just did our grandmothers.
Do you know anyone with Costco card - we had sandwiches from there and they were very good.
Then we had crisps and crudités.
Sausage rolls and samosa.
We then baked 4 different tray bakes and that was it.
It was easy and very successful.

I think if your DGD wants to use the same caterers, you should go with that.

Here you go, OP:

https://groceries.morrisons.com/shop-in-shop/food-to-order

https://food-to-order.sainsburys.co.uk/category/sharing-buffet

They all do stuff like this. M&S ones are nice, but expensive and can be hard to get it delivered.

My main thought process was to buy in stuff from the supermarket and cook, prep and plate it ready, then just take it over in the morning, maybe order a couple of pies from a Glentons or something. The pre prepped sandwiches and stuff would be a great time saver.

The only issue I have really is the timings on the actual day to make sure I'm not rushing around. The pub doesn't open until 10.30am so depending on the funeral time we are given it would be cutting it fine.

I would also stick to cold sandwiches/quiche/cheese etc rather than trying to heat things.

I have catered for a number of funerals because of my job although never a close relative. I usually suggest the timing of a wake to be between lunch and dinner so that you serve tea and cake. If it's around a meal time, order platters of sandwiches from a supermarket. I suggest three quarters per person. I buy fruit but not as much as a piece for everyone. I buy party bags of crisps and serve in baskets or bowls. I have sometimes done quiche, samosas and/or pork pies. I wouldn't suggest you heat anything. Buy cakes. Individual ones mean you don't have to cut them all up. Don't forget serviettes and plates if the hall doesn't provide them. Flowers/tablecloths are a lovely touch.

As other people have said you really need all the food hygiene certification stuff to be doing this.

Food isn't supposed to be out longer than 2 hours for a start, and it's going to be more than that from you taking it over in the morning.

It would be better to get it catered by another company that is more affordable and does better food.

Thank you for those links @GarlicStyle. I've just had a look at the morrisons one and it seems I could get almost a full varied buffet of food for around £50, which seems ideal, so I will discuss this with DGD.

I know PP have mentioned food hygiene, so if we go with this, would delivery the night before be wise and then just take it over to the pub in the morning?

As pp have said Morrisons is brilliant, I did my dad's funeral using these, as long as you order in advance I think it's about 3 or 4 days and have the means to pick them up and maybe keep some things cool whilst you attend the funeral it's pretty easy and good quality too. Way better value than if you paid per head if the pub is allowing you to do it yourself I'd say do it . Sorry for your loss.

Does the pub let you take your own food in?