To cater the funeral myself? WWYD

[InALonelyWorld]

My DGM passed away recently and funeral discussions are under way.

The subject of catering a small buffet for the wake was mentioned and DGD wants to use the same one as we did last year for DU. However i recall that it was quite expensive and the amount of food was quite poor quality and some of it was inedible. Im considering doing it myself but don't know if it might be impractical.

I'm finding it easier to deal with the grief in a "keeping busy" type way, i have young DC at home and I'm a lone parent so the show has no choice but to go on here. Although I really struggle with rushing around and I'm a little bit concerned that if I do this that I'm going to be rushing around on the day and end up frazzled by sorting out food, getting myself and DC ready and getting to DGD for the cars leaving.

Maybe I'm overthinking but WWYD? Also any ideas on doing a minimal effort but decent standard buffet would be great?

I was just going to say this, Supermarkets do. Sandwiches, sausage rolls etc it's easy to order and pick up. I can personally recommend Morrisons. You have so much going on that doing it yourself might just add too it. I'm sorry about your grandma

Ask at the club if anyone is around to open the door for you early for delivery. Otherwise, see my point below and allow them a key to your house to gather up everything and take it.

Have someone organised to sit at the back of the church and leave immediately after the final blessing to go and get stuff organised. You can’t do that because you will be busy chatting/accepting condolences etc.

I ordered sandwich platters from morrisons for my DGM's funereal but there were only 25 people to cater for so this worked really well.

Don’t do sandwiches, they take forever and they’re expensive to make. I don’t know why people think otherwise. I’d make a big dish of coronation chicken with rice salad. The chicken you can make in advance and the rice is half hour work in the morning…..Or a big casserole that can be done well in advance - lots of options and nicer and cheaper than soggy egg sandwiches from a caterer….

You don’t need a hygiene certificate to cater for your family. Or insurance.

That's why i asked for where and who.

Just check anything like sausage rolls or mini sausages are cooked and not needing to be cooked (I think it was Sainsbury’s I looked at once that needed cooking!).

have you a friend who would collect and drop off for you?
id gladly do that for a friend, in fact i would want to

Supermarkets will provide you with a carb loaded cheap filling sandwich platters. And crisps and sausage rolls……
If you work on 25 people at £8 per head (£200) imagine the quality of food you could have for even half that amount of money if you did your own, plus I think it’s a nice thing to do for someone you’ve lost. I wouldn’t go near a Morrisons sandwich platter.

If anyone in the family has access to Costco, you can order platters of their wraps and sandwiches ready made for the day. Much cheaper than caterers, but obviously a lot less hassle for you. You can just give someone the job of picking them up on the day. Also you can buy good quality paper plates and napkins in bulk at Costco, which reduces the clear up.
Condolences on the loss of your relative.

What time is it? If it's in the afternoon and people have had lunch, you can get away with a hot drink and a piece of cake.

I work in a events venue and that is not uncommon in the afternoon; some people have just booked us for a couple of hours, bar open, plenty of tea/coffee and a piece of cake. Close the bar when the family would like guests to start heading off.

Order from M and S. They do various platters and the food is lovely.

I'd buy M & S - I've done this for a buffet.
I'm not buying anything from Morrisons as American owned company.

I catered for my mums funeral but it was at my home and only for about 25 people. I wouldn’t want to do it for larger numbers or at a pub. It went well but we had an afternoon funeral because my mum was never a morning person 😊The attendees were very complimentary and it felt like the right thing to do. It was the way we had handled my dads a few years earlier. My cousins got M&S platters for my aunties and they were lovely.

As others have suggested, use the 'food to order' option at the supermarket and order the type of buffet food required (sandwiches etc)
I have in fact done this myself, though not for a funeral, although a funeral I went to a few months ago had also done this.
A lot depends on where you plan to hold your wake/reception and how many are coming.
A funeral I went to some years ago ran out of food. (A private hall, with caterer suggested by the hall). More people came than expected.
So if you are in a hotel (or possibly a pub) it might be easy to make up some extra food.
If in your own house, I'd still order in the food, tho.

And that’s why I answered….

To answer a couple of questions

• Yes the pub is okay with us providing our own food, it's just not something they

• I don't personally have access to a car to be able to pick up food or to transport it from location to location. My DGD and DM have friends who drive that they may be able to ask. There is an option showing for delivery on morrisons for the platters if they total below £100 though, which i hope is right.

• We haven't got a specified date or time slot yet but are trying to plan everything ready so we can just ring up and go "we need this at X time".

• I've always been to places where the buffet was all ready and waiting just to be unwrapped so thought this would of been the easiest route to have but I do live about 20 doors away from the pub, which would make it easy to transport the food across once we have returned though, obviously we would just need to make sure we have people happy to just nip over and bring it in either before or after we arrive back from the funeral.

Also I'm not really bothering myself worrying about carb overload or anything like that. It's one day and making sure people are easily able to eat is the main thing.

wow!
why bother ?

I find that quite disrespectful toward the person that has passed. People find a wake as a way of dealing with the loss. It should be an event as much as a wedding or a birthday, a celebration and reflection of someone’s life.

Rubbish sandwiches on a paper plate or tea and biscuits and off you go ? Shameful.

For my MILs funeral we bought big trays of sandwiches, cakes, crisps etc from Costco and it was all pretty good.

For my Dad's 70th we ordered buffet food from Waitrose to be delivered on the morning of the party.

Both relatively cheap and a lot less hassle than making it yourself.

I did all the catering for my Dad's. I wanted to as it felt like the last thing I could do for him

When my Mum died we ordered a large fruit cake, a tray of scones, a tray of sausage rolls and a tray of mini pasties from the local bakery. 4 trays of ready prepared sandwiches from Morrisons and a few quiches which my sister sliced. A few bags of crisps, Whatsits and a few tubs of Pringles, a bag of carrot sticks and a couple trays of dips and jam and creme for scones. My sister collected the things. 2 very kind ladies from Mother's Union who were Mums friends set it all out. Also an urn of tea and coffee. Urns borrowed from Mother's Union which Mum had belonged to for years. It all went off well. There was some left over which my sister took for her DH lunch box.

I have used Morrisons for some work things recently and it was absolutely fine. I added some cakes as well. So easy to set out and it all got eaten so I would recommend them.

Most bakeries will take orders for a fruit cake, mini pasties, sausage rolls and scones. You just order the number you want and collect in the morning.

How are you getting from the church or crematorium to the pub? People who are not joining you for the wake will want to speak to the immediate family before leaving, whilst those going to the wake may head off more promptly and arrive before you get there and set the food up.

Ideally, someone who isn’t attending the funeral should be at the wake venue to set up the food. If someone at the funeral can phone when the service ends, they will know when people are on their way and also get an idea of magnitude of numbers, ie is there a just handful or hundreds there?

This. M&S do nice sandwich platters and finger food. And will deliver. If folks can have a few nice sandwiches, sausage rolls and a cup of tea that’d be fine.