It’s a child maintenance one

[WinterSunflowers]

Hi all, just after a bit of advice

divorced 10 years ago, 2 children now mid teens. My ex H always paid more than CMS and has always earned well so the current amount I’m getting is around 1000 a month.

hes just informed me that his job has been made redundant and as he’s only been in this one a short time there is no redundancy payment, just payment for notice (6 months)

he has said that he won’t give me a share of this notice payment (it all falls into this tax year so technically he should) but he’s proposing to keep paying me the 1000 a month for 6 months, then discuss again but if he’s not secured another role then it may stop.

I haven’t worked full time for 15 years. I do some self employed work at home but I’m really going to notice the missing 1000 if it comes to that.

is it right he’s not giving me a share of the notice money? Is it fair that the payments may stop when it runs out?

It sounds like despite you being divorced you've been aligned on the need for you to be available and care for DC. And he's contributed accordingly.
He seems like a decent sort and is continuing to be decent. I guess all PP are advising is that ultimately these payments will cease and that's a massive drop in income for you. You presumably have little or no pension, so that also is going to be state pension only as it stands today. This leaves you in a precarious position all round, as you've seen he's been let go of 2 jobs recently and therefore his work isn't super stable. If he has little or no income, he has nothing to give you. So you need to start planning for your future ASAP really

father has missed a few appointments due to work and when we have had to stay in hospital he managed fewer of the overnights due to having to work. I decided that being available was of more value than working

@WinterSunflowers

What about now though?

Yes, I agree, something similar happened recently with my ex. I was relieved he didn't just stop immediately and pocket the payout which I'd never have known about. I guess you need to trust that if he does start working again before the 6m run out he should pay you more for those overlap months

You're not entitled to any of his redundancy payment so he's being quite generous given he doesn't know how long it will take him to find another job. Perhaps it's time to look for more lucrative employment yourself?

Do you really think that the full £1000 a month is going to the childrens expenses though? No chance

yep technically that £1000 is for half the kids expenses. So mum should also be contributing £1000 to the kids, after covering her own expenses.

if she’s not working she’s contributing nothing financially.

as for not working to “be available” just in case- when the child’s care needs are bimonthly appointments and an occasional hospital stay, that seems entirely daft to me. She could have got a job, building up her financial security and independence, not forgetting her pension. I have worked many jobs and I’ve never come across an employer that won’t allow time off for a hospitalised child.

o/p I hope this doesn’t come back to bite you in old age when your income has suffered and you have little pension. You may not be working now but you may find yourself working into your 70’s instead to compensate.

You aren't entitled to any of it. He can reassess with the cms once he's made redundant. If he's not working they will order very little to be paid.
What do you intend to do in a few years when the money will stop? More importantly you need to make yourself financially independent from his money so when it stops you won't feel it.
I made sure when mine stopped it wasn't needed and did this by working full time and taking promotions to cover the money myself

The bottom line though is that there is clearly a risk with maintenance, the payer can lose their job, have a health issue etc etc and the money stops

Also of course you need to be ready when children turn 18

My ex wife clearly never planned for these events or at least never gave the impression of having done so, if anything quite the reverse

"Again, are we accepting as normal that a father just washes his hands of his children once the legal minimum obligation expires? Do you plan on cutting off your children on their 18th birthday because you legally can? Mind-boggling."

Are we accepting as normal a parent of 2 teens with no high level care needs who should also be contributing 1000 pm to raise her own children but instead relies on money intended for her children and benefits from the state to be a woman of leisure justified as 100% availability for appointments 95% of which the working parent attends as well?