Invited to party and no one there!

[harlacem0507]

As the title starts basically! My 19 month old got invited to a 1st birthday party by a mum I know from baby group (not close but make small talk every week) at our local village hall. Party started at 3pm, we rocked up at 3.20 as our daughter overslept from her nap and no one was there! Bouncy castle was inflated, along with chairs and tables and balloons organized but no one about! We saw the lady that runs the village hall she said they popped back for something and gave her a call, said u have guests, mum replied we are coming back anyway, so we waited another 20 minutes outside the actual doors (but inside the main hall) then the brother of the mum arrived and let us in, a few more people with kids arrived and it got to 4.10 and we decided to leave, there was no juice to get the kids, no food etc as they obviously hadn't come back, I felt a bit bad leaving but aibu to think wtf was all that about? I mean I like to think I'm chilled but this was on another level? My partner was astounded by it! Oh and we didn't leave the present either as it seemed a bit odd leaving it and not being there so my daughter is currently playing with it!

That sounds odd. Did you not message the mum to see what was going on?

If there was no food or drink maybe they were let down and trying to sort it.

Also, why do you feel it was a waste of time? Didnt your lo have fun playing in the hall and the bouncy castle that was set up, even if it didnt have proper party vibes?

Nearly an hour then. Come on. Yes you did take it back!! You took a present to a party...and then you took it home. You took it back! You sound petty to be honest.

You said your daughter was at home playing with it!

Are they from a culture where things tend to be less 'on time'?
If you were the first arrival 20 minutes late, then the brother arrived 40 minutes late, then other guests started arriving almost an hour late then it sounds like "3pm" was taken to mean 4-4.30 by most of the guests.

So you were "20 minutes" late and no other guests were there when you arrived? Some other guests arrived even later! This seems very rude to me and if I was the host I might well have abandoned the party if nobody had turned up. Did you talk to any of the other guests to find out if they knew what had happened? Perhaps some who knew the mum better? Did you message to say you would be late? And yes, you should have left the gift.

And yet it was ok for you to be 20
mins late 🤔

If you're in Scotland, then the mum is probably my DNiece. We didn't go as that side of the family are batshit.

Did you message to let them know you’d be later than expected?

I can’t believe you didn’t leave the birthday present for the birthday girl.

Did the brother not say anything?! This does all seem a bit odd. I wouldn't have left the present either. I would be a bit worried something bad had happened!

It’s really weird you took this personally.

And I get the impression you wrote this thread hoping for a pile on to the Mum.

As PP said it may be something happened to the family or no-one turned up so they were upset and left.

Whatever it was, I think the normal reaction is to feel concerned for the family rather than self-indulge your own feelings of ‘wasted time’ and rather spitefully give the present to your own child.

I'd assume an emergency or the fact that nobody else turned up before you & they'd been there an hour+ early getting ready for it. Just deflated them

I wasn’t commenting on the present bit. The poster I replied to said the birthday was ruined and I was pointing out that the child will be oblivious.

Extremely rude of the host

It’s obvious what OP means. She means she never actually handed over the present so she returned home with it

It’s so obvious what’s happened here.

After 20m nobody has turned up. Mum has been devastated and took her DD daughter home. You’ve shown up and mum has been to upset to come along so her family has come and let you in. The same family was probabl5y trying to rally other folk who eventually showed up an hour later. Mum has still been to upset to come.

Keeping the gift is vile behaviour tbh.

That could have been the case but it’s not at all obvious. Could’ve been a huge argument between the parents, a family emergency, etc. Don’t assume you know.

Well you ruined that poor child’s birthday obviously by not leaving a gift! Or the child’s feckless parents that couldn’t be arsed to turn up to their own child’s birthday did. Just draw a line under it. You turned up.

Taking the child’s birthday present away with you is stingy asf.

That's very odd altogether. I'd not expect everyone to be there at 3pm so I doubt if that's the reason why the mum left.

How was it a waste of time? Your baby got to hang out at a party. At what stage would you start to class it as 'time well spent'?

Also just because a baby's parents weren't present, why does that mean you don't give the baby the present? It's still the baby's birthday. Don't be tight.

I reaaaaalllllyyy don't understand why, if uncle was there, literally nobody asked him 'where's mum/dad/baby'

I also agree it looks like something very bad/odd/unplanned has happened to stop them coming back. How you can possibly take this as a personal slight or reckon you've come off worst here today is beyond me. I'd be concerned for the poor little baby who it sounds like has had a shit 1st birthday.

But the present was for that child. It's entirely possible the child didn't get many presents because there was a bouncy castle to be paid for, and guests would contribute something small to open.

If the fact she's 1 and doesn't understand is the issue, then why do we celebrate at all at that age.

Hanging around outside an empty hall isn't really going to a party!

There wasn't anyone to actually give the present to, it's not like the OP snatched it back out the baby's hands 😂

You’re assuming that they only invited the OP?