To break up with him if he stays?

[Byefeliciabyebye]

I’m away with my partner in Dubai. It’s been grossly romantic and today is our last day.

i have kids and a full time job at home. He works remotely and has adult kids.

We were just both joking about how lovely it’d be to stay when he said “well I might stay another week”.

Obviously I cannot stay another week as I’m due back at work and to get the kids back from their dad.

I would be devastated if he did this. I can’t really articulate why but certainly in part because it shows our lives aren’t compatible.

I'm wondering if this is a reverse.
Imagine a scenario where a female OP could stay another week somewhere and her DP objected or threatened to break up with her. He'd be called controlling and she'd be told to leave him.

Agree with this.

Very surprised at the first half dozen or so responses.
Your attitude here is extremely selfish op, denying someone a good time because you can't have it as well?!?
I think if you did kick off about this, you wouldn't need to worry about ending it with him, I'm sure he'd end it himself.

It’s really not a problem and you’re being weird OP. I’ve done this. Why should he pretend he doesn’t have certain freedoms just because you don’t?

There's one red flag and it's you. Very controlling.

I could understand it if you were a nervous flyer or had some kind of health condition where you needed extra support, but you say you travel separately all the time.

So yeah you're being weird.

If he was the same level of weird as you're being, he'd tell you to sack off the kids and call in sick to work since it's only a week.

How does the flight home look in your life? In my life we have had two weeks together... the flight home is headphones in watching something or reading a book 😂

maybe she's hoping for mile high club 😂

I'm another who doesn't understand this at all. What's wrong with travelling home alone? I love a nice quiet flight. He's got the opportunity to stay another week. What does it matter? He'll be back in a few days. If I was him, I'd see this as a red flag that you couldn't be independent.

This.

Though anyone who sees Dubai as ‘grossly romantic’ is clearly of a very different mindset to mine, anyway.

This is super odd to me. You are a dating right? So it's not like he's just abandoning the family for a week or ducking responsibilities. He has a separate life. As do you. This would be 100% a non issue for me

LTB !

He works remotely so it's quite possible for him to stay without too much drama.

You sound resentful that he is able to do things that aren't within your control to do, so you are at different stages of life. There's nothing to indicate a horrible relationship, in fact you even say what a wonderful break you have had, so splitting makes no sense.

Him staying would only mean you had to take a flight home by yourself, which you must be perfectly capable of doing. Your reaction to what he said sounds a bit OTT, you're not joined at the hip, it doesn't even sound like you live together!

Why is it shit though?

We're heading home from a holiday today and quite frankly I'd love to be on my own. I've had a lovely holiday but quite frankly the travelling bit is so much simpler and easier when your by yourself. Would be bliss!

I think I’d feel a pang of envy that I couldn’t stay as well but that would be all.

It really wouldn’t worry me and if the roles were reversed, I’d feel a bit put out if my partner had an issue with it.

Breaking up over this would suggest you’re already having doubts and if it’s this one thing, it’s a bit extreme

Misses point of thread but what is "romantic" about Dubai?

I don’t understand this at all tbh.

I have had this situation myself and wasn’t remotely bothered. I like travelling alone.

Can you articulate exactly why you would dump him over this? It seems like a huge over reaction unless there’s a significant back story?

It's just rude. It would be like if you went on a date/day out together and at the end of the afternoon he said ' oh, I'm going to go and see a film/get dinner/go to a bar now, you can go home by yourself. But worse as its an entire holiday.
And it sounds like you felt you were having a lovely time because you are on holiday together, he is just as happy to be there without you. I'd be offended too.
And it would be totally different if he for example booked another trip there separately to you at a time when you couldn't go. But imo if you go somewhere together it's not unreasonable to expect to come home together.

@Onlyvisiting how would that be rude at the end of a date?

I have been to the cinema with my date on a Sunday afternoon. He has to go straight to work afterwards to do an evening shift, or go and collect his DC. I say thanks for a lovely time, I am meeting my friend Sarah for coffee now.

That’s rude?

Sounds like you are massively jealous of his freedom. He needs to move on quickly.

I think what you're saying is he feels he can have just as wonderful a time in Dubai because he's in Dubai, regardless of whether you are there with him, or not.

And I understand that, despite the fact you didn't articulate it.

You're just an added extra, like room service or a lap dance amongst an array of other options.

I would go home and see how you feel in a few weeks.

No idea!!

I am surprised so many people wouldn't be bothered by this. You went away together and you will be coming back separately so not exactly a holiday away together but two people in the same place at the same time.
I think logically, there is nothing terrible about it but I wouldn't like it either. I think if you had arranged in advance - you have x amount of time and he has y so you will arrive together but he will stay longer it wouldnt be so bad. Written down it looks ridiculous but it would annoy me.

Well I assumed they shared a bed, or at least a room, so definitely they were on holiday together. Taking a different flight home at a different time doesn’t negate that.

I agree that he will probably find your extreme reaction a big problem in its own right.