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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want to go to war

502 replies

TemporaryPosition · 28/02/2025 21:13

It's expensive and it hurts and it helps nothing, it just puts innocent sons, brothers, fathers, uncles and friends through the meat grinder. The only people who benefit are those who make a fortune from selling weapons and are granted contracts for reconstruction.

Haven't we learnt anything? What happened to "never again".

AIBU to really really really not want to be involved in any war?

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 10:22

@Wildflowers99 so you are convinced we'll back Ukraine even without US security?

With full combat if necessary?

Wildflowers99 · 03/03/2025 10:27

If it reaches full combat the US will have no choice but to join. Imagine the nightmare for them if Russia invades most of Europe. Do you think they would let that happen?

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 10:34

@Wildflowers99 that's not really answering, you seem to be saying Europe have pledged full support so they'll have to step in without US backing. Is that what you believe?

Wildflowers99 · 03/03/2025 10:34

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 10:34

@Wildflowers99 that's not really answering, you seem to be saying Europe have pledged full support so they'll have to step in without US backing. Is that what you believe?

Yes.

kungfoofighting · 03/03/2025 10:35

Wildflowers99 · 03/03/2025 10:27

If it reaches full combat the US will have no choice but to join. Imagine the nightmare for them if Russia invades most of Europe. Do you think they would let that happen?

I think it’s clear this administration don’t want to get drawn into war with Russia and want minimal involvement in European affairs.

Wildflowers99 · 03/03/2025 10:45

kungfoofighting · 03/03/2025 10:35

I think it’s clear this administration don’t want to get drawn into war with Russia and want minimal involvement in European affairs.

It doesn’t matter. If Russia managed to invade half of Europe, the States would have to get involved - not out of duty or honour, but because they can’t sit back and let their main (only?) true ally conglomerate into one huge enemy which would inevitably end up richer and more powerful than them.

cardibach · 03/03/2025 11:02

TemporaryPosition · 02/03/2025 23:42

It's quite vague though and doesn't really tell us anything meaningful.

Seems perfectly clear to me. But then I’m not trying to deny it’s a real thing to justify my belief that Russian speaking Ukrainians are really Russian anyway and don’t mind being invaded.

kungfoofighting · 03/03/2025 11:33

Wildflowers99 · 03/03/2025 10:45

It doesn’t matter. If Russia managed to invade half of Europe, the States would have to get involved - not out of duty or honour, but because they can’t sit back and let their main (only?) true ally conglomerate into one huge enemy which would inevitably end up richer and more powerful than them.

Good point!

cardibach · 03/03/2025 12:02

TemporaryPosition · 03/03/2025 00:13

@cardibach, I meant to add, in Sociology we're taught that nations don't really exist. They're modern artificial constructs created to serve political and economic ends, think Hobsbawm and Benedict Andersons "Imagined Communities". As per the dictionary definition you supplied "the qualities of a person or group that makes them different from others," - this is at direct odds with the values of inclusivity - to acknowledge difference between peoples. This also is verboten.

Nope. I didn’t talk about nations. Cultures have always existed. And inclusivity doesn’t mean ignoring those differences, but rather being accepting (or if you like, inclusive…) of them.

cardibach · 03/03/2025 12:04

Natsku · 03/03/2025 04:31

Not entirely though, as they will have formed a different cultural identity growing up and that makes a big difference. For instance I grew up in England, with a Finnish mother, and moved to Finland at 20. I will never have the same Finnishness as those that grew up here, despite always being Finnish and always having a strong connection to Finland (almost every holiday was in Finland for example), because my childhood experiences in England shaped my identity so strongly.

This is also true. Alongside a cultural identity everyone has their own individual identity shaped by their individual experiences. It’s complementary to their cultural identity, not totally divorced from it.

Paulrn · 03/03/2025 12:27

As someone who has been there, I would not want to go to war again. However for the OP I would to ensure that they live in a country where they can post the things they have and not live in fear of being hunted down and imprisoned, if we stand up for nothing then we are nothing. Peace is always the best way but there always comes a point where you have to stand up and be counted.

Parker231 · 03/03/2025 12:55

cardibach · 03/03/2025 11:02

Seems perfectly clear to me. But then I’m not trying to deny it’s a real thing to justify my belief that Russian speaking Ukrainians are really Russian anyway and don’t mind being invaded.

Definitely don’t agree that a Ukrainian speaking Russian are really Russian and don’t mind the invasion.
My Ukrainian friend speaks Russian as well as Ukrainian but is 100% Ukrainian and totally against the Russian invasion.
Im from Belgium and speak Flemish, French and English. I’ve not lived in Belgium since I was five years old but will never be anything than 100% Belgian.

cardibach · 03/03/2025 13:10

Parker231 · 03/03/2025 12:55

Definitely don’t agree that a Ukrainian speaking Russian are really Russian and don’t mind the invasion.
My Ukrainian friend speaks Russian as well as Ukrainian but is 100% Ukrainian and totally against the Russian invasion.
Im from Belgium and speak Flemish, French and English. I’ve not lived in Belgium since I was five years old but will never be anything than 100% Belgian.

Edited

Which aligns with my original point on this. Language isn’t everything when it comes to culture. Sometimes not even the main thing.

pointythings · 03/03/2025 13:19

Exactly. I haven't lived in the Netherlands for 28 years and speak English 99.9% of the time. But I will always be Dutch.

kungfoofighting · 03/03/2025 13:33

cardibach · 03/03/2025 13:10

Which aligns with my original point on this. Language isn’t everything when it comes to culture. Sometimes not even the main thing.

Right?! Fecking Zelenskyy speaks Russian as a first language fgs 😆🤦🏻

C152 · 03/03/2025 16:11

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 08:35

Troops only go in if US security is there and that's not being added to the deal Z is signing.

That's not actually the case. The UK and Europe have been in discussions for some time on what security would like in Ukraine once the war was over. They don't need the US and discussions haven't involved them.

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 16:14

@C152 where are you reading that?

Just now in the commons -

Sir Keir told the Commons: “We must strengthen our relationship with America…the United States are and always will be indispensable.”
Plus

The Prime Minister said the past week shows “with total clarity” the US is “vital” in securing peace in Ukraine.

C152 · 03/03/2025 16:15

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 09:38

No it's still we only send in some peacekeeping troops if you back us. It might be a few more of those troops than last week but they still don't do it without backing.

US may say no still as they have been with each leaders' request.

Not definite either way but it's still contingent on US security and Russia signing.

Literally everyone has acknowledged that peace keeping troops would be ineffectual and completely unsuitable for Ukraine because of the ongoing threat presented by Russia.

C152 · 03/03/2025 16:17

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 10:10

Well Europe has nailed its colours to Ukraine’s mast without any assurances about US involvement at all, so we will proceed whether or not they join us.

Can you show why you are so certain?

The gov line this morning as quoted is still US are necessary.

If the mineral deal is signed and Russia says no to troops for example, do you think it'll go ahead?

We've only ever offered troops after peace not to fight, unless you can say where you've seen we would go to combat?

No deal where Russia says "no troops" will be accepted. Apply some common sense.

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 16:19

@C152 catch up on the commons what you're saying is at odds with what's being said about US being required still

C152 · 03/03/2025 16:27

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 16:14

@C152 where are you reading that?

Just now in the commons -

Sir Keir told the Commons: “We must strengthen our relationship with America…the United States are and always will be indispensable.”
Plus

The Prime Minister said the past week shows “with total clarity” the US is “vital” in securing peace in Ukraine.

I'm reading that in European newspapers and the Associated Press, which I have posted multiple links to in this and the multiple other ridiculous posts of this nature.

C152 · 03/03/2025 16:32

EasternStandard · 03/03/2025 16:14

@C152 where are you reading that?

Just now in the commons -

Sir Keir told the Commons: “We must strengthen our relationship with America…the United States are and always will be indispensable.”
Plus

The Prime Minister said the past week shows “with total clarity” the US is “vital” in securing peace in Ukraine.

The Prime Minister is, quite clearly, kissing arse. Just as he was when he made a show of handing Trump an invitation to meet the King. I've got to say, I've never once longed for a Hugh Grant character to spring to life before, but I agree with another poster on one of these threads who said they wish the PM would be more like the PM in Love Actually and tell the US where to stick it.

"I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain...And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger."

MissMoneyFairy · 03/03/2025 17:08

Trump wants an apology, he says Zelenskymdoesnt want peace, nothing to do with him. fucking idiot. How long are we expected to put up with him and his behaviour.

RubyTuesday48 · 03/03/2025 17:17

MissMoneyFairy · 03/03/2025 17:08

Trump wants an apology, he says Zelenskymdoesnt want peace, nothing to do with him. fucking idiot. How long are we expected to put up with him and his behaviour.

We (as in Brits) have no choice but to 'put up with' Trump's behaviour as we don't have a say in American elections or decisions. Americans OTOH have another 4 years before they can vote him out.

kungfoofighting · 03/03/2025 18:02

C152 · 03/03/2025 16:32

The Prime Minister is, quite clearly, kissing arse. Just as he was when he made a show of handing Trump an invitation to meet the King. I've got to say, I've never once longed for a Hugh Grant character to spring to life before, but I agree with another poster on one of these threads who said they wish the PM would be more like the PM in Love Actually and tell the US where to stick it.

"I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain...And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger."

It’s in our self-interest to maintain good relations with the US.

They’re not a friend, they’re an ally. It’s the equivalent of being diplomatic with a boss or a colleague.

If we mouthed off and cut ties with every leader who was a twat we would not survive very long, because we are interdependent with other countries in the world. And in the case of the US, more like dependent.

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