Can’t stop cutting hair- now too short

[CyanDog]

Looking for advice please. When I’m stressed or wanting change I cut my hair. It’s gone from down my back and a bit messy to an extremely short bob. I started by cutting it to my shoulders which looked great, but obsessively kept “trimming” as it looked uneven and now it’s by my chin and does not look good at all.
any ideas how to salvage this please / tips for disguising a bad bob? How long to grow out?? I’m so frustrated with myself.

Don't do anything else to it yourself! At that length you can't hide errors!

Get yourself to a hairdresser, having googled first to find short haircuts you can show them for inspiration

Put the scissors down and get to a hairdresser to fix. It might also be worth some therapy to address the deeper issues with why you cut your hair when stressed, it sounds like compulsive behaviour.

I also do this, but it’s only now that I’m feeling better mentally that I recognise what it was.

I used to go for a pixie chop or harsh short bob which never suited me but was sort of act of desperation, as though I could shed layers of something.

I’m with the person suggesting therapy to try and sort out your why.

For now, don’t stress and own it - it’s a part of your journey and you can be positive from this moment on. We are all more than our hair.

it's hair
it will grow again

I did this years ago. It was horrific and j wonder why I was so obsessed. What helped was finding a good hairdresser who could sort it then leave it. It took years to get over it and when I look at photos from that time I'm horrified. I would try.cbt perhaps.

I used to do this… with cuts and colour every time I felt uneasy; stressed; unsatisfied; ill at ease; restless. I also used to pull out my hair when stressed too.
I think what might be helpful to do, if you can, is to pause the next time you have the urge to change it and see if you can tap into a recognise what the feeling is… how are you feeling just before that urge? If you can do that a couple of times then you can see if there is a bit of a pattern in terms of the feeling that leads to it. From there, you may be able to think about an alternative thing you could do instead.
as others have said, you might want to think this through in therapy too
also for me I made a rule that I was not to do anything to my hair in between hairdressers… I’m quite stubborn so it worked! And I imagined my beloved niece doing what I was doing to her hair
good luck

Go to the hairdresser and throw away your scissors.

Just stop

Thank you all for your comments. I’m upset as my partner is avoiding looking at me, I know he doesn’t like it but is too kind to say it.
I want to cut more off but realise that I’ve gone too far now.
is there anything possible to accelerate hair growth?

Yes, it feels like obsession, I can’t stop thinking about it and finding bits to trim

Clip in hair extensions? That might work for now :) and a visit to the hairdresser who can even it up for you xx

It's a bit like trichotillomania, isn't it?
Biologically, take a good multi vitamin and biotin to support growth. Google rosemary water, too.
Psychologically, have therapy to examine your complusion.

Thanks all, I’m also worried about people commenting on it and having no idea what to say!

I did the same thing last year OP - what you describe sounds exactly like me!

I bought some hair accessories and just tried to "style it out" as best I could. I can fully relate to that feeling if having to chop a bit more cos it's uneven, and not being able to step away. Even reading/ writing this is making me want to get scissors and do that upside down ponytail thing!

I also have issues with pulling out my eyelashes and skin picking 😏

Don't cut anymore hair! Mine has grown back a fair bit now but I still look at photos of me with long hair and feel annoyed at myself all over again.

Can you go to the hairdressers? I didn't - for cost reasons but also they make me sooo anxious.

For hair growth there are some things I tried but I don't know how much of it was just part of my weirdness 😂 I turned my head upside down for a bit every day cos Google said it would help...

And for the person who said get help for the compulsion - what help do you believe is out there? I got 6 weeks of CBT for anxiety and a leaflet. There's nothing else unless I pay for it, which I can't afford...

Oh I’m sorry to hear you have been through it too. How long has yours taken to grow? What accessories work best on a crappy short bob please? I can just get it into a tiny pony if I use Kirby grips at the side but that’s about it!

Can we see to help advise styling? Short bobs seem to be back in amongst some young mums I see on TikTok. They have it l blow dried with lots of volume.

Don't panic OP.
Sit yourself down with a cup of tea.

Let's try and find you some styling ideas.
Once, after finding out an ex had an affair, I stiff over the kitchen sink and hacked off my waist length hair in tears. It looked terrible. He was crying trying to fix it. Disaster all round.

It's human to have anxiety. It's just about learning better coping skills.

It's brilliant you've recognised that you need some support and have reached out.

What will help is knowing your face shape and hair type - is there any celebrity etc you resemble even just a little so we can make suggestions?

Wig?

There's the simple answer - stop cutting it and get it done properly by a hairdresser and the more complex one - which is getting some help on your compulsive behaviour.

Such productive advice.
I must suggest this to the NHS when someone asks for help to stop smoking or over eating as a response to their stress. "Just stop". Must work wonders

Are you sure you're partner won't look at you because of your hair?
You're worried about other people judging and commenting, people change hair styles all the time, it's part of life and pp around them don't judge or comment negatively!

I think you need to address the source of your stress and find other ways to manage it.

In the meantime find something else you can do with your hands instead of cutting your hair when you're stressed.

Do you have any soothing hobbies or interests such as crafts, baking, reading, journalling, going for walks?

I was the same as you in a period of huge stress. I took up knitting and hiking, and spoke with a counsellor regularly to help me through the stressful period.

I second this. I got my long hair chopped to a chin length bob last year, really didn't suit me. I got a thick set of clip hair in extensions, no one even noticed

Ohh I've been there. I chopped all my long hair off. I wasn't in the best place mental health wise and hadn't been to a hairdresser in years, so I was terrified!
After much searching, I found a small local salon - not one where the windows are so you're sat facing the high street! met a lovely gentleman and you know what? He just laughed at me and said why? I said because, and we both just laughed and got on like a house on fire!
I'd gone too short for a bob, but from the front it looked like a bob tucked behind ears.
He honestly worked miracles.

Take your time finding someone you're comfortable with. Don't apologise. Just find someone you think you can laugh with and trust and get a funky short bob!

Short haircuts cannot be done yourself as the cut has to be precise. I'd go to a hairdresser and get them to sort it. I'd actually ask your husband to hide away your hairdressing scissors, to stop you cutting it yourself. You can let it grow out again, like it was before.

Oh OP, I'm sorry you're going through this.
You do need help with the psychological stuff in the long term but for now I imagine feeling crap about how you look is not helping.

Try looking at pictures of bobs from the 1920s - they're short but beautifully accessorised and can be very feminine, I think the scarf tied as a wide hair band is particularly lovely.
Try different textures, wavy or curls will change how it lies and are very pretty on bob length hair.
Half pony tails are also very useful when your hair is shorter - you can get it tied back and it still looks tidy.

Also hair grows more quickly in the lighter months so this is exactly the right time for growth.

You've got a bit of a road ahead of you.but it's doable and you can do it.