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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP says I am......................

93 replies

Kimi · 11/05/2008 09:24

Ok I know its early in the morning and a sunny day but please AIBU?
DP does re-enacting (this means he dresses up as a German and marches round in the mud, (I wont even get started on what I find wrong with that) any way he has brough a very old camera to go with his dress up stuff and decided to put a digital camera inside it so it will take photos, now this is where I am being Unreasonable according to him..... He wanted to use my camera, this meant dismantleing it I said NO.
He said that
1 it is old
2 it is not very good
3 he would replace it with a new and better one

I still did not want him to take it apart but after much pleading I gave in for some peace and quite, so he took it apart, got a shock off of it then found it was too big so put it back together again, but still says I was unreasonable not to want him to do it in the first place.

We shall put it to the good ladies of mumsnet to say who was and was not.....

OP posts:
Pan · 11/05/2008 12:08

lulumama - are you at all appeased by the following? - NOT saying you should be.

"To clearify he is part of a huge group of people who dress up and go to events and re-enact, there are Germans, English, Russian, Italian and so on, they do raise alot of money for vetrens and alot of WW2 vets go along to these events. Also DP sees it as a way to remind people of the evils done by the Germans, schools and stuff even have re-enacters visit."

kittywise · 11/05/2008 12:10

Perhaps he offers to show kimi the size of his bratwurst ( sorry kimi!)

Twinkie1 · 11/05/2008 12:10

He is a tosser - soprry just don;t get all this reenactment stuff!

Go out and replace your camera with a hugely expensive one abd get him to pay!

I am just browsing John Lewis for some new patio furniture whilst I watch DH lovely do fingerpainting on the one I have for the last 5 years rubbed down and restained every summer and my head is just about to go BANG!!!!

CombustibleLemon · 11/05/2008 12:10

I don't get the whole re-enactment thing. It makes me deeply uncomfortable- vast numbers of people dying doesn't say leisure activity to me. Each to their own I suppose, but I don't blame you for not wanting the stuff in the house.

Original poster
Kimi · 11/05/2008 12:18

He is not a tosser, thank you very much, he just has a stupid past time.

The uniform has never seen action other then the re-enacting pan

and his bratwurst is in good working order

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimi · 11/05/2008 12:20

I did suggest he be an Italian but then it would be confuseing what side he was on, German till 12.30 and British after lunch

OP posts:
CombustibleLemon · 11/05/2008 12:22

What is it with men and hobbies?

Original poster
Kimi · 11/05/2008 12:25

O know, never again will I snigger at the sados blokes plane spotting as I drive past the airport

OP posts:
kittywise · 11/05/2008 12:28

Just out of interest kimi, did your dp have this hobby when you met him or did it develop later?

Original poster
Kimi · 11/05/2008 12:40

When we met His friend was already doing this and trying to talk DP in to doing it, (DP has a lovely life and a good job and his friend has not worked out so well, they have been friends for a long time and I think DPP feels a bit guilys that they started out together but DP is doing so mucch better, thus indulging friend too much) I dissaproved from the off, DP said he would not join in if we were together but needed something if I was not going to be with him.

Anyhoo I am with him and he is now doing this, he works hard and long hours (director of a company) provides for us well but needs a time out and a hobby.

I have ask him not to do it, as I don't like it, he says he does not like some of the things I do when I ask what things I do that he does not like he said "well you know those things you do" in a everything kind of voice turning it all in to a bloody joke.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimi · 11/05/2008 12:41

Still at least he will have a hobby when he is all on his own

OP posts:
TheHedgeWitch · 11/05/2008 12:44

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TheHedgeWitch · 11/05/2008 12:45

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Original poster
Kimi · 11/05/2008 12:46

When I said the school playground I was refuring to the groups that re-enact at schools as part of history lessons

OP posts:
TheHedgeWitch · 11/05/2008 12:53

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Pan · 11/05/2008 13:24

THW - I do see lulumama's reserve on this,and do agree that this 'bad guy' is qualitative different to most. It's a visceral reaction I imagine.

MKG · 11/05/2008 13:30

First I'm amazed at how many men like to play dress up and re-enact war. I had a teacher that loved doing Civil War (am in US) re-enactments. Really at the end of the day they are playing dress up. If they want war tell them to go to Iraq or Afghanistan.

Second as far as the Camera goes. He now owes you a new camera. He promised he'd give you one if you let him take it apart, well he did. Now it's time for him to pony up.

kittywise · 11/05/2008 14:36

THW I think that any educational advantage is a by product. The people who dress up and do re enactments like to do it because they like to do it surely?

Tortington · 11/05/2008 14:38

i think yabu - only read the op.

i guess if his hobby is overtaking your life - thats a different but very reasonable point.

cory · 11/05/2008 14:50

Lulumama on Sun 11-May-08 12:01:47
"actually, as a jewish person, i would find it very unnerving that someone would dress as a german soldier, and reeanct things, and buy nazi memorabilia. it might not be anti semitic per se , but it is deeply disturbing, why could he not dress as an italian or french or british soldier from that era. buying nazi memorabilia is something i persoanlly find repugnant.
"

Re-enactment is basically like a (badly organised and badly scripted) play or film: it wouldn't really come off if people were only willing to play the good guys.

How would you feel if you saw a film on the telly about WW2 battles which only featured British soldiers fighting against the air, because the actors found it repugnant to dress up as Nazis? Bit odd, don't you think?

These are amateur actors (usually because they haven't got the talent to do the real thing). It's not the same as having a fetish about the Nazis.

kittywise on Sun 11-May-08 14:36:10
"THW I think that any educational advantage is a by product. The people who dress up and do re enactments like to do it because they like to do it surely? "

Yes and archaeologists dig things up because they enjoy doing that. Actors act because they like doing that. And teachers teach because they used to think they liked doing that .

kittywise · 11/05/2008 14:53

cory, they are not playing battles as a job though are they, it's a hobby. Therein lies a world of difference!!!

Judy1234 · 11/05/2008 14:55

I refused to go to dinner with a man because his hobby was into re-enacting as his hobby. He also had a beard so I suppose there were lots of other downsides too.

dittany · 11/05/2008 15:04

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittywise · 11/05/2008 15:05

xenia, was he covered in bits of dead rabbit?!!

Lulumama · 11/05/2008 15:20

cory and hedgewitch, i realsie that, but acting in a movie is different to playing the role as real life fun. and doing it week after week and buying memorbilia. why the need to re-enact WW2, i think we all know how it ended i stick by what i said and i think it is a grim area to be into, on such a personal level. lots of other things you can do to educate people that the nazis were not that great

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