9 year old bullied for 'moustache'

[Sockmate123]

Posting here for traffic mainly.

My 9 (almost 10 year old) this morning blurted out before school that 'everyone' in her class is saying she has a 'moustache'.

She is a sensitive little soul that keeps things in so this may have happened once or ongoing for months. I am going to chat to her further after school. She is very pretty and quite talented in a couple of areas. I know every Mum says that! But she genuinely is. Has done a small bit of modelling etc
She is like Snow White. Pale skin, very dark hair, red lips. So dark hair on pale skin obviously is a little more noticeable than fair hair on tanned skin but its by no means a 'moustache' but up close in direct sunlight etc you probably would notice a few hairs either side of her mouth.

Has anyone any suggestions?
Would hair removal cream help? I have fair hair myself so haven't had this issue.

I am going to speak to the Teacher about talking to the class in a general sense about talking about others appearance etc

I suspect I know who the child leading this is and I think its from a place of jealousy....😡

YABU-shes too young for such products
YANBU -if its something that shes self conscious about better to try to something to help.

*thewreckofthehesperus *
Does that actually work for you? I've got one, and it doesn't for me.
I've got a few very fair fine hairs on my top lip and chin and l've tried it several times. I must be doing something wrong, it just doesn't get the hairs!
I've resorted to the tweezers again.

Aww, been there, big hugs to your DD. Posting under my real name, as when I wasn't getting 'moustache' comments, it was my name being ridiculed - but hey, it meant they reserved the weight comments for other kids. Some kids are just horrid, and they're going to find anything they can to pick on.
From that perspective, I'd ask your DD if she wants to do anything to remove/bleach it, rather than, as pp have said, make her feel she should.
I used Jolene at her age, then removal cream, then moved to plucking/epilating/threading and laser. Bleach and creams can both burn the skin, so you need to be careful, but I didn't have the pain threshold at 10 for waxing, and laser didn't exist then. There was electrolysis, where each hair was individually removed with a needle, but it was expensive, and though my mum said the money was always there if I wanted it, I knew it wasn't.
In the interim, a well-crafted comeback can make all the difference. When I was about 13, I was at the pool with my friend and some little oik did the "You've got a moustache" comment (god, I can still hear it just typing it) and my friend flashed back with "Least she's old enough to have one!"
Nearly forty years later, I still appreciate that - thanks, Diane - and knowing I had a riposte made so much difference to my inner confidence.

before you try any of these remedies I would ask your gp for advice - little girls skin is delicate and you wouldn't want to create a bigger problem.
Also tell the teacher specifically which girl said what exactly. sounds like she has got other issues. don't ask for the subtle whole class 'telling off' it makes everyone else feel bad except the culprit who will feel shes got away with it.

I’ve always been hairy, OP. My mum refused to let me do anything about it so I did it myself with her razor (which wasn’t entirely safe in hindsight). Now, sometimes I wax and sometimes I don’t, it doesn’t bother me anymore, I do it when I want to.

Bless her, I remember all the comments and my Daughter will inevitably go through the same and I’ll be helping her to remove it. I won’t be suggesting it though, I’ll leave it to her to bring up, as it sounds you are doing too.

Totally agree with @LavenderBlue19.

Once your daughter has become self-aware of her upper lip hair you should immediately address (especially if she has dark hair)

Although we did bleach when daughter was ~10ish it was still noticeable, but blonde. We then waxed but as others mention, it takes a toll on their skin.

I do feel guilty, even after almost 20 years, for not going the IPL route for her.

Don't minimise the effect on her @Sockmate123, it needs effective action (not shaving though!)

My mum bleached mine. I remove upper lip hair now, but bleached for years and it did make a positive difference.

My dd got her period at 9 and facial hair . The thing that worked best for us that had the least impact on her skin was a small battery razor . The nice bright pink ones you can get.
It was the least traumatic thing aswell for her to use.
All my dds use them now all teenagers . For odd hairs.

We had the same happen with our Dd .. got a small facial hair removing wand .. it's great . I use one too now . Yes we should stand up to bullies but hard when they've got to walk into school and face it on their own

I did too. Could you get it threaded?

YANBU, don't hesitate to deal with this and don't approach it as some sort of 'character builder' in her life.

Go to a good beautician and ask for advice.

I'd also make the teacher aware that there have been unkind references to her physical appearance and ask that some sort of subtle reminder be made to the group about acceptance, kindness, the choices we should make in our interactions with others, etc.

As the girl who had pure white skin, dark hair and an early mustache. I'd use sensitive facial wax strips. I wish my mum had for me. I needed up burning my lip trying to take her off as I was so embarrassed that kids kept pointing it out

Also, OP, your DD will probably experience noticeable hair growth on her legs as she hits pre puberty. Best to have a plan in place for thst too. Classmates can be very insecure and unkind in the tween years, but there's no need at all to go to school with a target on your back.

Encourage your DD to stick up for kids who are the target of remarks.

I’d get it waxed off. Or use a lumea if you have one.

My DD had the same problem at 9. Bleach and hair removal creams will be too harsh on her skin. Threading and waxing way too painful. I used mini electric razor and keep them at bay until she is old enough for a better option. She's now 12 has never had any problems again.

Flawless Finish, she can do it herself and you don't have to worry about her cutting herself. No way would I start waxing or using creams on such young skin. This way she can take total responsibility for it herself and do it as and when she wants to.

Lumea isn't for under 18's.

Bleach can be really harsh on skin and will only bleach what's grown out at the time. She will likely just be teased for having done something to it now the kids all notice it.

Hair removal cream can be harsh as well. It's also messy.

Waxing requires a certain amount of regrowth or the wax can't stick to the hairs meaning she will have to go through cycles of letting it grow. It also stings and can damage skin of done wrong. Kids will notice in the regrowth stage because they are mean.

I'd say shave it but us and electric trimmer like an eyebrow one. You can get them for not much money. It can be done in minutes, no blades like wet shaving and it won't grow back thicker, that is a myth. I have one and use it on my nose hair and all sorts lol

I really don't mean this to sound as aggressive as it probably does written down but would you genuinely book a GP appointment to discuss the possibility of hair removal, before anything is even wrong?

People are finding it very difficult to get appointments for much bigger things and I'd feel embarrassed booking an appointment for this.

Or is your GP contactable for questions without needing an appointment?

People saying to remove it - but is that what she wants or is she being pressured into that being an idea because of the bullying? I think this is a great teaching moment to say that we’re all different, we all have our own little quirks about us and that’s ok. We are unique and beautiful. I wouldn’t add to the society standard talk and tell her she needs to remove it. I would tell her she’s beautiful in the skin she’s with. Only then if she does still want to remove it, you can decide to help her. But don’t let bullying guide her into changing who she is

Kids can be awful sometimes, but I agree with pps just remove it in whatever way you think is best and work on her resilience.

These waxing strips are amazing. I bought them in desperation during lockdown because I couldn’t go to a salon, and they work far better than I imagined. When my brunette, olive skinned DD was 11 she was teased about her eyebrows, and I took her to get them shaped. In an ideal world she would have told the girl to sod off, but in the real world, she was sad about it and it was an easy fix. amzn.eu/d/ct2Xl05

Please don't wait to help her with removal. I understand the urge not to 'bend to the bullies' but as someone who endured this problem, I was desperate to sort it out. It was torture. I still resent my mother's inaction to be honest.

She didn't help me shave my legs either, I got taunted for that and then cut my skin to ribbons when I tried to sort it myself.

If you’re set on doing something about the moustache, I’d suggest using a microplaning/eyebrow razor. I wouldn’t want to use chemical hair remover or bleach on such a young child.

But really, she’s 9. She doesn’t have a moustache. She (in common with every other kid in her class) just doesn’t have an entirely hairless face.

They’re just looking for something, anything to taunt her about… If it wasn’t the mythical moustache it would be something else. Your wee girl is perfect. Don’t let bullies convince her otherwise.

Hmm. I can assure you that at 9yo my DD very definitely had a very noticeable moustache. I would too if I let it grow. I can’t help but think that some of the posters here minimising facial hair may actually have very little themselves and don’t get it? We are all different.
I didn’t mention to my daughter until she herself noticed, then I casually mentioned we could remove it if she wanted. We’ve done the same with armpit hair.

I am a die hard feminist but I don’t enjoy going round with a full on tache, it doesn’t make me feel good about myself.

Please don’t make her wait OP - obviously don’t force her into hair removal if she doesn’t want to, but please give her the option right away. Honestly if you use the flawless touch it is so gentle and no big deal.
It doesn’t mean the bullies have won but it will help her confidence. By all means speak to the teacher about her being teased about her appearance but I wouldn’t get specific.

Get her one of these. I'm using mine for 15 years and it's still perfect (mine is Epicare brand but they don't seem to be available anymore). No batteries, virtually painless, no harsh chemicals or danger of cutting yourself. Takes a minute or 2 to do every week or so. Genuinely one of the best things I've ever bought!

You can get similar on Aliexpress very cheaply, but I find the cheap ones are pretty useless and the spring isn't good enough.