leaving children & step children our house in our will.

[GingerStephenson]

My husband finished paying for his house when we were still courting. Since then we have married & lived together (for approximately 9 years). As we have gotten older, there has been discussions about selling up, moving away, & what to do regarding the house once we have passed. The discussions only ever mention him, myself & his children. I don't want to sound like I'm 'money grabbing' but what about my children. its such a difficult topic to discuss as I only had rented accommodation, however, I have contributed, financially, to the house since living together. Please advise & TIA.

In answer to your question 'what have I contributed to the house in the 9 years I have lived there?'
I have paid for repairs, improvements, furnishings etc. I have also paid for the upkeep of the house & bills since he retired some years ago & I am still working full time, whilst I can, in order to pay for the above.

Why would you do that? What does your dp contribute?

Regardless of you paying towards it he can put whatever he wants in his will.

Unless you wish to contest it.

Basically whatever in the will left to you is for you to then share with your children. what he leaves his children is up to him.

I would start off an ISA for each of your children & start putting money aside for them that way. Then don't be forthcoming with money for repairs. Are you married?

Sorry just saw husband. Surely it's a joint asset?

That’s for a divorce. If he owned it prior then her name won’t be on the deeds unless added later so currently she owns zero so there no automatic inheriting the other half depending on how named on the deeds.

Other than the whole fucking house you mean?!

So as you've been working full time all these 9 years surely you've got considerable savings?

You say you've paid for repairs, bought furniture etc but those expenses aren't frequent are they. Other bills are for consumables.

You haven't paid rent or the mortgage. How much do you think you have spent in total on the structure of the house?

Does sounds grabby though to be fair. If I owned a house before I met someone I wouldn't expect to give my capital away to their kids. Contributing to the upkeep is general living costs not capital.

You have contributed for those things and you are in the will 🤷‍♀️

He owned the house when you met. As wife I would expect to be qvle to livening the house until I die but then then value of the house would go to husbands children. You didn't bring any assets to the marriage bit much you want a chunk of the house for your kids. Buy your own investment property if you want your kids to have something

That’s true but she could contest a will that excludes her on the basis of it being a marital asset. You can’t bequeath something which you spouse would be awarded in a divorce to anyone other than your spouse (well you can, but it could be contested).

But she’s being left things. Her argument is her children are not in his will.

She might have half the house and his children the other half split between them.

I've only skimmed the comments but most people seem to be ignoring the fact that his house would be considered a marital asset and you’d be likely awarded some portion of it if you were to divorce. To that extent the Op does have a claim for some share of their marital asset to pass to her kids. As this thread demonstrates though, people tend to think differently about what’s fair in divorce vs what’s fair in death.

i guess that depends how much she’s being left and what happens if she dies first. She can’t leave a share of the house she doesn’t own to her children (f she dies first) so he would need to provide for them in his Will (in order for them to inherit).

That’s the risk you take when you rely on someone else leaving your children an inheritance.

It’s why it’s alway recommended to not leave your entire estate to a second wife or husband incase your own children don’t get left anything. Here we have the second wife worrying that her children won’t get what her husband acquired before their marriage. Basically wanting to take from the first children to her own which are not her husbands.

I do know someone who married a guy who owned 5 properties outright when she met him he had no children when they met (now have one together)
She had two children from a previous relationship, he has written into his will that all of the houses are to be split evenly between there child and her two children. She didn't ask for this and she's aware that it puts her other children in a much better financial position one day than if she hadn't met him.
Again, she didn't ask he offered and she's obviously very grateful.
If he hadn't offered she wouldn't have asked, it's not her money it's her husbands.
You should have brought this up when you moved in together, the only conversation left to have now is that you want to put money aside for your children and want to reduce what you pay towards the running of your home. Although you live there so you'll have to contribute something.
You say you work full time so let's say you bring home £2000 per month.
Half of council tax/energy/running a car and food is (averaging my bills)
Is around £600. Maybe suggest a figure like that and then keep £700 for yourself and £700pm in a savings account for your own kids one day.

Where is his pension going and how are the monthly outgoings split at the moment with you working full time and him being retired.

You should get life interest in the house and then it should be split between his children. Maybe with any capital you paid going to your child.

If he’s now not paying for any monthly outgoings while you pay all of them and he’s building a pot of money to give to his children that would seem to be unfair.

I think I’d start foaming at the mouth if my other half suggested I leave part of my house (fully paid up by me within 6 months of us living together) to his children.

But you would have paid all of that on top of rent had you not been living, rent free, in your husband’s house. I simply don’t understand why you think you have any claim for your children on the house. All I’d expect in your shoes is a life interest if DH dies first, so you’re not evicted when widowed.

Dh and I own a house jointly I have three children (1 with him) we will split the house/money three ways.

If you leave now, who’s going to take care of him? If the kids can look after him or willing to give up inheritance as care fees will eat away etc. if I were you, I’d ask him if he’s willing to put you on the deeds. As you’ve contributed to the house and his lifestyle and health. Don’t get frightened by the bitter bats as I like to think of some posters. If you divorce your husband, your marital home, which you contributed to in the last 10 years will be seen as a marital asset.

Because she does. She has contributed to the marriage. Just because it gets you riled up is irrelevant.

if she was to divorce him now she would have a financial claim to the house. A good solicitor would argue for half. Plus lawyers fees and the kids will have to eat dust as an alternative to an inheritance when his assets are taken for care fees. Its also not an inheritance as he’s not dead. Also no one has a right to other people’s assets other than a legal spouse (husband/wife) in the UK.

@GingerStephenson do you have any shared children with your dh? That will also be a factor.

I’m not “riled up” at all. Death and divorce are totally different things so your analogy simply doesn’t work.