Tipping in America

[User74893677]

I’m going to New York and Boston at Easter with my children. The flights were a gift but I’m paying for our hotels and obviously food, activities etc.

Ive read that we should tip at least $5 per night for housekeeping. And similar if the hotel looks after our bags before/after check in/out. And generally for pretty much everything - helping take our bags to our room, provide local information etc.

Ive worked out that we will easily spend more than $100 just on tips for the hotel staff alone - for services it’s not customary to tip for here in Europe.

AIBU to consider not tipping for these things? We are travelling on a budget and $100 (or more) is a lot of cash!

I know we will have to tip in restaurants but we’re not planning to eat out much - it’ll be warm so the plan is to buy picnic/take out food for at least two meals a day to keep costs down (also I have the least foodie children in the world and they’re very happy with picnics and take out burritos etc!).

I anticipate people saying that if we can’t afford to tip, we can’t afford America 🫣

I was not tipping in America for a quite expensive hotel room I was only in for eight hours.

I don't care if it's "how the country works". I am not responsible for their societal failings and I don't want to perpetuate a broken system. In some countries some people only survive by begging, and others rely heavily on bribes, but it would be too much to say visitors to these countries must participate by giving money.

Your service staff will be paid next to nothing. Don't tip? Don't be surprised by the results.

I was chased down the street in New York as the tip wasn’t big enough. Tips are part of peoples wages in the US.

I was really confused as depending on who you tip it’s a different amount and I’d done a little spreadsheet which I had in my purse showing me how much I needed to tip depending what service I’ve used

I returned to the restaurant and was given the little folder with the tip in which I then counted out in front of them, it transpired that two of fairly high value notes were stuck together, they were brand-new notes.

What annoyed me the most was that an apology was not given and the money was grumpyily taken away from me.

To be honest, it really has put me off going back to New York

That low paid staff get themselves Unionised, start collective bargaining, and withdraw labour until they are paid a living wage ??

Tip if you are happy with the service. Many places work out the tip for you at the bottom of the receipt.

But how do they know if you're happy with the service, if they're already telling you how much you should tip?!

It's obviously an assumed extra payment, and then any awkwardness is down to you to raise, rather than the choice to tip or not remaining in your hands - which could be very awkward indeed in a place where the service was abysmal, as it might be systemic throughout the whole establishment!

I know it's the traditional word, and it isn't going to change anytime soon; but I think calling it a 'tip' or 'gratuity' is woefully inaccurate. It's nonsensical when it's expected/assumed/requested - if they just referred to it as 'service charge', 'supplementary charge' or similar, at least everybody would be clear about it not being anything like an actual tip: a freewill discretionary payment for above-and-beyond service.

Resort and destination fees are a whole new level of scam. At least hotels have to be up front about them now.

I've been to NY in the last few months. The main ones I would absolutely advise to tip are the 20% sit down meals and if you use any form of driver.

You can absolutely take your own bags. We didn't even have anyone try and take our bags so no issue. Housekeeping, you may see the housekeeper in the morning. If you do not want your room cleaner either let them know of put a do not disturb sign on the door and just ask for towels as and when.

Also be aware some take out places when paying ask for a tip on the terminal before you put your card in. You can decline. I paid a small tip on places that gave good service, those that didn't I didn't tip and saw many other Americans doing the same.

I believe as long as you are careful you can spend a ton of money or very minimal in New York.

Nobody is trashing the US. We're just discussing and giving our opinion on a culture that is very different from our UK culture.

If everybody hated the USA, none of this would arise, as nobody would care about going there anyway! As it is, a great many people love it for the amazing country that it is, but this is one particular aspect that some people from outside the US find awkward and/or disagreeable. In fact, going on a number of posts on this thread, it sounds like plenty of Americans find it confusing and awkward too.

Feel free to raise for discussion any particular aspects about the UK that you find irritating, unpleasant, unfathomable and/or awkward and we'll happily discuss them, without assuming that means you hate the country as a whole. In fact, you'll find that the people who complain most about the UK are hands-down we British

Just don't criticise our weather, mind, as we're proud to enjoy the best weather in the whole wide world; so we know that any complaints in that department are clearly vexatious and groundless...

Honestly this is why, as a British person born and raised here, I really cannot understand some of my own people sometimes. I'm sorry to say it but that's how I feel.

Visiting New York involves tipping not just serving staff, but also acknowledging those who look after your room. You can ignore it, you can say you don't like it, that's fine. I respect that.

But it involves tipping. That's the culture.

So, what I don't get is this. The gift of the flights must be worth about four figures. That's a huge saving for you on the trip in terms of transport costs @User74893677 .

If you were instead going to Benidorm, Butlins, or Barcelona, you would still have to pay lets say a few hundred on transport costs.

So why not repurpose the amount that you personally would have had to spend on transport costs, and instead make that available for this holiday for doing the things expected in NYC such as tipping serving staff?

Otherwise if you're not willing to do that, then my suggestion would be that you do the food equivalent of what you do in terms of transport.

So you get the tube to Heathrow, which means that food wise you should eat in Subway, the pizza stand, Wendys, street food markets etc. I'm not having a go, I'm just suggesting that if you want to do the 'thrift' version, then you can go to places which don't expect a tip.

I think this is very pertinent. A system for extending gratitude and showing friendliness has potentially morphed into the exact opposite.

I would be left wondering all the time if any tiny favour or hint of humanity was done out of basic bonhomie and simple kindness or just because somebody was wanting to make money from me at every turn.

People not used to it find tipping awkward and embarrassing. Even when you can afford it you need to know how much and who to and how to hand it over and if it's cash, always having the right change - it's a rubbish system and I wish it would go away!

What on earth did they say when they chased you? Your voluntary gratuity isn't big enough?

We've just booked a 5 night stay in Miami as part of a package deal. Not only do we have the tips to consider, but there's a city tax too. Very difficult to find information on how much this is likely to be but our TA suggested up to $75 per night! Google says possibly around $30, but it's something that we weren't anticipating.

You still have to tip even if you’re having a takeaway bagel and coffee you know…

So, what I don't get is this. The gift of the flights must be worth about four figures. That's a huge saving for you on the trip in terms of transport costs

OP has already made it clear that the flights are a very kind gift, and that, without this gift, the holiday could not happen.

She doesn't have unlimited personal funds and now just find the equivalent amount that the flights cost burning a hole in her unallocated savings fund.

Did you read any of my updates? We’re not planning to eat in lots of restaurants and I am planning to tip when we do.

Without the gift of the flights we wouldn’t be going. So it’s not really a saving in that I don’t have the equivalent of the cost of the flights burning a hole in my bank account.

We will be getting the tube and subway, we will be eating at Chipotle and pizza slices and whole foods. Not all of the time, but a lot.

You don’t. Although I’m actually more than happy to put a dollar or two into a tip jar for a delicious bagel and coffee. That’s a different beast from the 20-25% tip in a restaurant.

Boston in April - we once experienced very heavy rain for 48 hours - and if it had been a degree or two colder, it would have been a blizzard.
Back home, admittedly SE U.K., it was full spring, lots of flowers out. Over there were barely saw any.
We had gone purely for a family event, so it wasn’t really an issue, but if we’d gone for a holiday I would not have been happy.
Spring does usually come very late to that part of the US. Winters are long and cold!

Tip in restaurants and if someone helps you carry luggage, but have to say my last few stays in hotels no one helped or even offered to.
Yes I always tip housekeeping, especially if a family, $5 a night but say $10 for three nights ok. My DD once left a note thanking the chambermaid and she wrote back!
Not sure what you mean about tipping for information- if I'm asking at the reception desk I don't tip them! And while I have seen people tip the doorman if he calls a cab I've never done that.

I hate the US tipping culture and it really puts me off going there. Roughly half the states esp the democratic ones have their own minimum wage but considering the cost of living there, it's still not great. New York's works out about the same as here.

It feels like you have to allow an extra 50 to 60 dollars a day just for tips. I get why the staff are desperate for them, the cost of living there is much more expensive, esp if you don't have a good health insurancepackage via your job. It sure can add up to making it a much more expensive holidays though. Working where to tip and where not too. Do you have to tip just for a drink at a bar, it seems like you do? It's a very confusing system. Where you rely on customers to top up people's wages.

You made the point much more eloquently than I. No child needs a holiday to New York, if it’s going to be tight go somewhere cheaper.

Ps- get the (I think J train) from the airport into New York- that’s what we did and so easy to navigate. You can also get the free Staten Island ferry to save costs too!

Two things: I reiterate that one of the things keeping tipping in place are the servers who do well out of it. So unionising isn't going to fix it.

Also, Canada has tipping, though not as extensively as the US (but in restaurants certainly) AND they don't include the sales tax in their prices either, but I never hear people complaining about Canada.

Because their employer won't pay them a living wage in order to deliver the service?

@User74893677 you've described the main reason I lost interest in going back to the US several years ago.

But if you're going to go, it should be part of your budget and £100 on a trip of that nature for that many people isn't a big %

If you're only visiting a place once, how does a handsome tip ensure good service? It's already been given (or not!)

What happens if you refuse to pay? Do they hunt you down?

As for paying a tip for simply taking an item to the cashier, that is ludicrous.

When in Rome etc, but there are limits! Not that I will be going anytime soon with the Orange buffoon in the White House.