Tipping in America

[User74893677]

I’m going to New York and Boston at Easter with my children. The flights were a gift but I’m paying for our hotels and obviously food, activities etc.

Ive read that we should tip at least $5 per night for housekeeping. And similar if the hotel looks after our bags before/after check in/out. And generally for pretty much everything - helping take our bags to our room, provide local information etc.

Ive worked out that we will easily spend more than $100 just on tips for the hotel staff alone - for services it’s not customary to tip for here in Europe.

AIBU to consider not tipping for these things? We are travelling on a budget and $100 (or more) is a lot of cash!

I know we will have to tip in restaurants but we’re not planning to eat out much - it’ll be warm so the plan is to buy picnic/take out food for at least two meals a day to keep costs down (also I have the least foodie children in the world and they’re very happy with picnics and take out burritos etc!).

I anticipate people saying that if we can’t afford to tip, we can’t afford America 🫣

Another post opportunity to trash the US. Plus the usual cliches that go with it. 🥱

Not a huge dent, but a dent nonetheless. The flights are paid for and I’ve paid for the hotels in full in advance. We then have money for food, public transport, activities and a small amount of spending money for souvenirs.

I think I’m happy to try to avoid housekeeping services unless we need new towels. That’s going to be the main area I’d feel bad about using and not tipping. We won’t go to bars (children not old enough), won’t use cabs and won’t need help with luggage.

Last time I was in New York food was insanely expensive. For example, a colleague and I went out for breakfast. We both had pancakes and a coffee. I’d expect to pay £15-20 each in London plus a tip. It was $50 each including taxes and tip. (And yes the portions were huge but it just meant there was food waste because we couldn’t manage it all.)

Even a can of soda was $6 in lots of places. $6!!!!!

When looking at the restaurant menu you just have to have in your mind that the real price is 20% more than what is on the menu because you need to factor in a tip

Interesting research from November 2023 by Pew:

https://www.pewresearch.org/2023/11/09/tipping-culture-in-america-public-sees-a-changed-landscape/

Some of the key points:

A broad majority of Americans say they’re being asked to tip service workers more frequently than in the past. Around seven-in-ten U.S. adults (72%) say tipping is expected in more places today than it was five years ago.

But even as Americans say they’re being asked to tip more often, relatively few have a great deal of confidence about when and how to do so. Only about a third say it’s extremely or very easy to know whether (34%) or how much (33%) to tip for different types of services.

… we gave our respondents a hypothetical scenario in which they went to a restaurant and had average – but not exceptional – food and service.

In this situation, a majority of Americans (57%) say they would tip 15% or less, including 2% who wouldn’t leave a tip at all. Another 12% of adults say they would leave a tip of 18%, while a quarter say they would tip 20% or more.

Above all, tipping is a question of service for most Americans. Around three-quarters of adults (77%) say the quality of the service is a major factor when deciding whether and how much to tip, while 18% say it is a minor factor. Only 5% don’t consider it a factor at all.

Seriously OP, you need to bloody tip!

I’m being tight? Wow. I’m extremely grateful for the gift of flights. I’m being careful with money so I can afford to take my children away. Calling me “tight” is unfair.

You can put the do jot disturb sign on the room to cut this down. We sometimes used to put a dollar on each pillow.

Also carry your own case to the room. We did this too as it cringey to me.

Thank you. Yes, a family member offered to pay for flights for us. Extremely kind and generous. But without that we wouldn't be going.

Housekeeping probably won’t go to your room every day- but when I went to New York 2 years ago and Las Vegas last week housekeeping were tipped a couple of dollars a day- and the bell man 5 dollars.
food is where it’s expected- as little as 18%
don’t eat at Ellen’s stardust- massively expensive and overrated
if you have time get the cable car to Rhode island- there’s also a really good Chucky cheese in Brooklyn (for the kids)
if you like desserts go to serendipity near those island cable car.
Enjoy!

I've been on holiday to America four times and I've never tipped housekeeping staff in the hotel.

Seriously, I do tip at restaurants. But I don’t want to tip for services I don’t actually need/want. This thread has been really helpful.

One thing I'd have to disagree on, is that tipping makes the service better. I've been to America twice and both times I found that knowing they will get a tip, makes the service worse. Because they don't need to "earn" it. I'd say there was maybe a couple of times I got really good service, but that was not the norm in my experience. Most were disinterested at best, downright rude at worst.

It's not somewhere I really enjoyed visiting and wouldn't go again. It's not even the tipping per se but the attitude around it. Aggression when someone doesn't tip or doesn't tip "enough" is never acceptable in my book.

I was personally suprised how tipping was less in your face than I expected. I tipped in restaurants and left some cash in the tip jars if there was one. That being said, I was happy being the ignorant european who didn't tip at every opportunity. I didn't tip the hotel staff since they didnt clean our room durjng our visit. Depending on the attraction I sometimes tipped the staff and sometimes didn't depending if there was actual service.

I’ve been to serendipity in New York and that’s one place I will take my children to because I know they’d love the sundaes! (And yes, I’ll tip there 😂)

Thanks to everyone who’s replied. Interesting stuff.

On a broader note, we have a low income at the moment for reasons I won’t go into but they’re not my “fault”. I still want to try to travel with my children and there are personal reasons to want to travel to the east coast of the states with them.

I try to give my children really great holidays but learnt a long time ago that you can cut costs without cutting the fun. But I also don’t like being mean with money and I’m happy to tip (here and in America) for good service.

But the “sounds like you can’t afford New York” cry is just elitist and rude. Some of my friends exclusively travel by cab in NY, only eat at restaurants, buy endless drinks during the day. All power to them and that’s fine! But by using public transport, getting takeout/buying picnic food and taking water bottles, we save SO much money. An eye watering amount when you add it up. It makes travel to otherwise expensive places doable.

I never encountered such a bad service as not to tip but may be is the places I go to. My American friend doesn’t tip if the service is bad and would be happy to talk to the manager is what she told me once.

Are there still lots of cash tips? I'm assuming not so many people use cash anymore. Should I get cash just so I can tip?

Hand yourself in to the authorities immediately.

Yes it puts me off going to US. I don't want to be stressed hoping I've got enough cash on me all holiday. I grabbed a pastry at a Starbucks and took it to the till. Sure enough, she was waiting for a tip. For what??!!

I have been to the USA at least 10 times and have never once tipped hotel staff. If you're travelling on a budget i doubt you're staying in 5* hotels. Take your own bags up yourself. Don't worry too much about housekeeping. I don't expect much anyway. I'll happily make my own bed or whatever.

Only ever tip in service places like restaurants.

I think I’m happy to try to avoid housekeeping services unless we need new towels.

How would you do this though? I think your plan for everything else is great but it's maybe a bit too far to try and stop housekeeping doing their job for the sake of a few dollars a day.

I am in Seattle right now. Minimum wage here is $20/hr nowadays, but the tipping culture hasn't changed unfortunately. In motels, I'll usually just leave a couple of dollars a night / $5 for 2 nights for housekeeping staff.

I hated all the tipping thing in New York. I asked someone for directions and they held their hand out for a tip. I was scared to look anyone in the eye!!

I could mention to reception? The thing is, we are staying in really nice hotels. There are already resort fees of $45 per night (I think it’s resort fees - people will know what I mean!). We don’t need to have our beds made or to have fresh towels every day. Every extra $5 adds up.