Tipping in America

[User74893677]

I’m going to New York and Boston at Easter with my children. The flights were a gift but I’m paying for our hotels and obviously food, activities etc.

Ive read that we should tip at least $5 per night for housekeeping. And similar if the hotel looks after our bags before/after check in/out. And generally for pretty much everything - helping take our bags to our room, provide local information etc.

Ive worked out that we will easily spend more than $100 just on tips for the hotel staff alone - for services it’s not customary to tip for here in Europe.

AIBU to consider not tipping for these things? We are travelling on a budget and $100 (or more) is a lot of cash!

I know we will have to tip in restaurants but we’re not planning to eat out much - it’ll be warm so the plan is to buy picnic/take out food for at least two meals a day to keep costs down (also I have the least foodie children in the world and they’re very happy with picnics and take out burritos etc!).

I anticipate people saying that if we can’t afford to tip, we can’t afford America 🫣

I visited my son in Canada last year and it is considered really rude not to tip.

It usually says 20, 22, 25 on the ipad

It does, but you can always tap "Skip" or "Custom". It isn't mandatory.

As Europeans we can think it's bullshit all we like, but the polite convention as a traveller is that you follow the etiquette of the country you are visiting. That might mean adapting your day around the long lunches and siestas around the Med, or covering your arms and legs in a predominantly Muslim country. In the US it means tipping.

There is no need to tip someone for handing you a bottled water across the counter at Starbucks.

This is what would confuse me, though, as several of the scenarios in which you very much are expected to tip seem to be for very quick and simple services.

Who was that replying to? If it was to me, I clearly said upthread 'when in Rome...'.

Their minimum wage hasn't risen in over a decade.

This is not true at all.

But is it considered socially or customarily 'mandatory'?

Nobody would take offence, scowl at you or chase after you if you selected not to tip?

I agree it’s confusing. So you pop in to a coffee shop place order wait until you get your stuff then sit down and no tip required… but the barista has still made your coffe etc?

The waiting staff at the restaurant carried something from the kitchen to the table for you to eat but that’s 20%? I get it as i usually leave a tip at a restaurant here if the staff were good but I wouldn’t in a coffee shop but I don’t get why one would be expected when the other wouldn’t be

You need to tip.

Don't take your disagreement with the system out on the most defenseless people.

We went to San Francisco for 12 days in January. I left $10/night for the hotel cleaner (we had a suite) and easily spent $300 more in tips for taxis, restaurants, guides, airport baggage handlers, etc.

If you don't like a tipping culture, don't go somewhere where tipping is part of the culture. You just embarrass yourself and reflect poorly on the rest of us.

This is what would confuse me, though, as several of the scenarios in which you very much are expected to tip seem to be for very quick and simple services

Think of it this way: You tip for service. Someone makes you a coffee? It's polite to tip $1.00. But just handing you a prepackaged item? Tipping not necessary.

Exactly. Go elsewhere if you begrudge tipping.

FYI, 20 percent off is a standard tip in restaurants. The servers' base salary is virtually nothing, like $2 per hour, and the tips are their salary. On the plus side, the service is far better than in Europe. They will often adjust dishes to suit you, so don't be shy about making modifications.

Wait staff are exempt from the minimum wage.

No!

Don't tip housekeeping at the end of stay. The cleaners may not work every day or may be shifted around. The person getting one big tip at the end of a stay may not have done the work.

Leave the tip in cash each and every day. Somewhere obvious like the pillow. We usually write a "thanks for your work!" note so they are sure it is for them.

Ffs, I am amazed anyone needs to be told this.

I’m American… here’s my guide.

1- Taxi/Uber Tip $5-$10 depending on the fare. If a big fare then go with a percentage ~10%
2- Sit down meal service 20%
3- hotel breakfast person clearing your dishes if included in the room rate ~$1-$2 (NYC I’d probably go $5)
4- bellhop (getting your luggage to your room. ~$5 This isn’t super common though
5- counter service (Starbucks)- $0
6-housekeeping -$3-$5/day paid daily any day you have housekeeping. This insures that the person cleaning your room all week gets the tip instead of the person working on your last day.

7-Valet parking ~$10

These are the most common you’ll run into on your trip.

The old adage comes into play here… if you can’t afford to tip you can’t afford it. And the opposite side of the coin is that there are low expectations for non Americans on tips so you’ll be one of many keeping the stereotype alive if you don’t tip.

"I will say if you're worrying about $100, NYC might not be the place for you."

Agree!

I hope you get extremely lucky with the weather if you are planning to picnic a lot at Easter in New York or Boston. If you’re unlucky, or the weather is just plain seasonal, you’re going to need long underwear to spend any amount of time seated outdoors!

Those are really low-end amounts, @saltinesandcoffeecups

Maybe in somewhere like Tennessee or Ohio, but in big cities I'd tip a lot more.

How does that work if everybody knows that it's an extra 20% every time - so presumably the other amounts are just there to rip off unwary foreigners?

15% is crap service.
10% is really really crap service.
22% is you did something good.
25% is what DH and I refer to as 'toddler tip' when DD spilled stuff, we cleared up as best we can but they waved us away and did it.
30% I've done once or twice when they've done something like checked on a homeless person o/s or something. When I want them to know they are great. Once when the women in front didn't have enough and they let her go.

OP, the food court at Quincy Market, opposite Faneuil Hall in the centre of Boston, is a great choice for families. Well thought of, lots of options and lots of seating, in a historical building. And no tipping!

In New York, the Tick Tock diner, just outside Penn Station at 481 8th Avenue, is a fab example of an American diner and not expensive at all.

Thanks; but I still think it's quite ambiguous. Does making you a coffee mean doing all the steps manually or is it just shoving an empty cup under a machine, pressing a button then handing it to you full straight afterwards?

Can you always differentiate - and, if the latter, is pressing a button and handing you a cup of machine-dispensed coffee materially more of a service than reaching into a fridge for a bottle of water and handing that over? Would it become a service if, instead of bottles of mineral water, they only had tap water - so somebody has to do slightly more to get that to you?!

In the US, you do tip ALL the time. I am afraid you just have to accept that it is part of visiting a different country.
I leave $5 per day in the hotel room. Another $5 for the person who delivers room service. For the person who brings my bag from the hotel lobby to the room probably $10. For the bellman who looks after the luggage on the day we check out, $10. For the doorman who hails a taxi - $5. For the coffee shop barista, probably a dollar or two, which is probably about 20% of the order. At a restaurant, 20% minimum. If the taxi person helps with my luggage, an extra $5.

Don't tip housekeeping at the end of stay. The cleaners may not work every day or may be shifted around. The person getting one big tip at the end of a stay may not have done the work

I was wrong, @BettyBardMacDonald is correct. Tip housekeeping daily.

Isn't that more what the chef does - to adjust the dish and make adaptations to the menu items - than the server who just writes a couple of extra words on the order pad?

Does the chef get any tips, or are they already paid a proper wage?

It’s a guide…

The Uber/taxi is the wildcard. If it’s a quick inter city fare then yeah less. If it’s a longer fare or more complicated then more.

bell hop… yeah may be $10/$20 but honestly it’s been awhile since I’ve encountered one. Even in NYC… and it’s unlikely that the OP on a budget will be staying in a hotel with one. Same with valet parking.

Housekeeping… well they are not exempt from min wage so different than a server/bartender. So I do take that into account with the lower amounts. Same with the random person cleaning breakfast dishes… they are not usually tipped servers so aren’t in the same bucket as servers/bartenders.

ETA;

I almost always tip more than 20% for table service and bartenders but 20 is the floor that people need to know.