This is wrong isn’t it?

[Staggeredatthisadmission]

Firstly apologies if anyone was offended by the tone of my thread last night. I was very tired and put it on with little thought of the wording. The thread got deleted so here I am trying again.

Chatting to a friend and she told me that her son, aged 13, walks around naked in front of his sisters who are 16 and 18. Obviously he doesn’t purposely flaunt himself, but will walk from his bathroom across the landing and often encounters them. My friend’s has told him to cover up but he isn’t bothered.

I have a DH and a young adult DD and DS and we would NEVER do this. We are very private and this has shocked me.

AIBU - This is ok
YANBU - This is not ok

Exactly. No-one would think it OK for a young 13 y.o. girl to be walking around naked in front of her 2 older brothers. So it's no more OK for a 13 y.o. boy to walk around in front of his older sisters naked.

Nope, not buying it. I don't believe anyone thinks it's OK. 😂

This.
I live alone- but very much did not grownup in a naked house, to the point I feel I am excessively repressed and awkward and it was not good for us.
Bodies shouldn't he a dirty shamefully secret, I'd think it was weird if they were all hanging about watching TV starkers, or coming downstairs for breakfast, or deliberately sitting down for a long conversation while naked or something. But being briefly naked in an appropriate situation, ie when washing or changing, without embarrassment seems like a pretty healthy attitude to me.

If course if the sisters have said they are bothered by it and he is deliberately exposing himself to them directly an ld intentionally then that's a different kettle of fish. But isn't very likely from the description.
If the rest of the family are uncomfortable and he is the only one ok with it then enforcing a towel around the waist would hardly be onerous though.

I'm not sure why people have to label things they disagree with as abnormal or weird. It's the very height of arrogance to assume your way is the only way that's normal. Not to mention a bit thick.

I'm not sure I'd want to see my 13 yo naked now. He's grown a lot and it would be very weird. He has also stopped wandering into the bathroom for a chat if I'm having a bath. There's been no conversation about this, it's just happened naturally. He sometimes needs some help with personal care (AuDHD) but he always has pants on as that is what makes him feel comfortable. Everybody is different. We've reached that cut off point now and that's fine.

I think you're being judgemental.
All families are different.
It's really none of your business

I voted YANBU because if his mother is repeatedly asking/telling him to cover up whilst walking around the house, he should respect that this is one of the rules of the house and go along with it. It's not like she's asking him to put on a top hat and tails; I'm sure a robe or shorts or even a towel would be fine.

My sons stopped walking around naked, in front of me, long before they were 13. I covered up too. They were, and still are, quite happy to share the bathroom with DH or cross the landing if I wasn’t there. I didn’t want to see their genitals once they’d started puberty, and they didn’t want to see me naked anymore.

I’ve got a younger brother and there’s no way on this earth my parents would have allowed him to walk round naked, at 13, in front of me and my elder sister.

The closest my dad got to nudity in front of us was rolling his trousers up on the beach.

The difference in 13 year olds who have and have not started puberty is massive.

My 13 year old is still a pre-pubescent 'child'. He is very much a late developer and the instinct for modesty etc.. hasn't kicked in yet! He only stopped sharing a bath with his younger brother a few months ago! They r both tiny and late to develop and really do seem, in terms of biological maturity, very young...

There are teens in my 13 yr olds class at school who have most definitely started puberty or are mid way through it, or some even at the end! They look like men.

I think there's a big difference between a pre-pubescent 'child' 13 year old running about naked in their own home Vs a 13 year old with sweaty pits, a moustache, a man's build, hairy arm.pits and a developed body.

So true I worked for a couple and then their daughter and her husband. At the parents there was a hot tube. The daughter primary aged kids would come there from school, strip naked and jump in. The grandparents had to explain to them that different people react to being naked differently when I stopped mowing the lawn and scuttled to the far reaches of the garden! I'm not a prude and it didn't bother me but as a man who was then in his 40s being around naked kids was something I wasn't comfortable with.

There's no huge issue with it in our house. You do what you're comfortable with - one of my daughters always covers up, the other is much more comfortable with nudity. I would come to and from the shower nude as would my husband. It makes me laugh how uptight some people are - it's really not a big deal. We don't sit watching tv naked but don't clutch towels while getting ready. We also don't have a lock on the bedroom door.

@FlipFlopsSpots Yes I agree with this. While more recently my 13 yo (14 shortly) has chosen to cover up and stop wandering into the bathroom while I bath or shower, he was literally the completely opposite not even a year ago. Very much still a child and had no such qualms and was also pre puberty. It's caught up but I agree, a vast difference from child to child.

@FlipFlopsSpots

Thats my issue! The 13 year old in question is very well into puberty according to his mum, which is why she tells him to cover up. It definitely wouldn’t be ok with me and I’m kind of shocked at how many posters would be ok with it.

“Yes! I find it massively weird” In other words you are calling me a pervert with an interest in children and I have reported your post.

The “other words” are entirely your invention. I have also reported YOUR post - and as you’re the one making slanderous accusations, I don’t think it’s my posts that will get deleted.

It's just a body

They are comfortable in their own skins there is so much to be said for that. There is to much shame and embarrassment in this world about something perfectly normal and natural. People sexualise ordinary innocent human-Ness. The world needs to lose the shame in just being who they are and accepting each other simply as people in their basic form. The bottom line is we are all just people.

My 13 year old wouldn't dream of doing this but I can envisage that others might be ok with it. When he was younger he would have done it and he hasn't started puberty yet so in theory it's not really any different to when he did it aged 8 or whatever so maybe some kids still just carry on the way they did when younger and especially if they haven't gone through puberty they don't feel embarrassed or particularly private?

@DreamingOfASilentNight

Maybe you’re right! Tbh I was so shocked and felt certain it was absolutely not ok. It’s been a real eye opener actually as the majority of posters are ok with it.