To cut off a friend for saying “you only have one mother?”

[ThatFancyExpert]

A friend said this during a discussion about my relationship with my mother. I found it dismissive and invalidating. Just because someone is your mother, does that mean you have to tolerate a bad relationship? Or am I overreacting?

This is coming from someone who doesn’t talk to her dad and has said she won’t even go to his funeral - she plans to just send money to her siblings as her contribution instead. AIBU to find her comment hypocritical and unfair?

If your friend is aware there is a rift then it's a huge overstep. If you've just had an argument with your mother it's a way people try to offer perspective. Either way, if she's an otherwise good friend, no I'd not cut her off for it unless she kept on and on about it. If we dump the people in our lives everytime they say or do something we don't care for, we risk pinballing between short term friendships, constantly falling out with people. Cutting people off imo is reserved for those we really can't tolerate because they make us miserable, not a punishment for getting it wrong.

She’s saying how she feels about her mother and projecting it on to your. I’m sure if you said the same about her dad she’d feel the same as you. I’d probably explain this to her rather then go off in a huff, if you’re good friends that is.

I have a birth mom, adoptive mom, and step mom.

Some of us have more than one mother and none of them are great.

I would ask her to clarify what she meant.

You seem determined to cut off a other in your life, are you over sensitive, is it a pattern when people don't agree with you just to cut them off ?

So if you cut off a friend everytime they say something you don't like how many will you have left?

Yes, I agree. I understand your reaction but if she's a good friend and you generally like her, look at the bigger picture before cutting her off. Good friends are almost impossible to find.

My manager always uses this phrase but with sadness. His parents were awful. For him it sums up why he tolerated behaviour from them that he wouldn't have from friends.
He's a well meaning idiot so I felt rather comforted when my nasty dad died.

Unless OP is going to add extra info that changes the context, I really think it would be stupid to throw away a good friendship over a comment.

Especially given she's cut ties with her own father, is it not possible she was just trying to make sure you make the decision understanding the gravity of it and the complex feelings you might have later down the line?

Tbh in any case, it seems like quite a sensible thing for a friend to say. I'd much rather have a genuine friend who questions and makes me think through my decisions, even if my decision is the right one, than a yes-man to mindlessly "validate" my feelings with no regard for the consequences.

Well anyone who says that is a bit thick/lacking in emotional intelligence, neither traits are ones I want in a friend.

why do you have to cut her off for saying that? That sounds a bit drastic. You could respond by saying you disagree with her point of view, have an argument about it, agree to disagree.
However if she's generally pissing you off then dial back on the friendship.