To think life gets worse, not better, as you age?

[HangryCrab]

People say “it gets better,” but does it really? More responsibilities, declining health, fewer friends, and work until you die - what exactly is getting better?

Fifties have been the best since my late teens/early twenties.
Financially secure, retirement looming and I could do my (still interesting) job with my eyes shut.
Reached fifty-seven and took early retirement, now living my best life.
Expecting my sixties to be great and then to start slowing down in my seventies (health permitting🤞).

Everyone's situation is different.

DH and I are both 71. Life is as good as it has ever been, and in many ways better.
Better. House paid off, retired, do what we want, when we want. We are not loaded, but we have enough. Have a good circle of friends, and a good social life. Not bothered about buying loads of stuff anymore. In fact we have started to clear out ready for downsizing. Both kids have their own homes, one bought, one rented. Both need a bit of help every now and again, sone financial, some practical which we are happy to do.
Worse.
We are very aware we are on borrowed time now. Have lost a few friends, have others who have ailments that stop them doing as much as they did. We know we may only have a few years to make the best of the time, so try to get time away, holidays, visiting friends and family etc.
I am probably as happy as I gave ever been. We ran a business together that we both enjoyed, but did not get much time off, and when we did the phone would ring from the staff, so we are enjoying our time now.

I think all adulthood sucks tbh. You see it on the threads about people's DCs who don't want to get a job, I've never seen one parent sell adulthood or make it sound in the least appealing. It's just "yes you'll have to work for the next 50 years but that's life suck it up" whilst threatening to kick them out.

Life is hard and I will be glad when it’s fucking over TBH.

Just reading more of the thread about being ignored as you get older. We are at an age now, where we get help cos we look like a doddery old couple. A lady in a ticket booth took DHs phone to show him how the tickets would be delivered by email - he was involved with computers since the mid 80s, and the days of MS DOS and floppy discs. Walking through a tunnel at Chatsworth, a young girl waited at the end to make sure we got through OK. Cars are always stopping to let us cross the road. Seats given up on buses. It is great. We take it all in the manner to which it is intended, and enjoy the attention.

It definitely gets better if you stay in good health for many: mortgage paid off, time for exercise and good nutrition, friends, family when retired, pensions, interesting hobbies and volunteering, grandchildren. You can have-space to think, potter, be not rushing all the time and noone being demanding. You aren’t so worried about what others think. More carefree, more yourself.
The hard bit is the mortality alarm going off, knowing you don’t know how long youve got left and you will most likely get health issues and lose people in years to come if you do live a long time.

I was fine until age 57. Then a tsunami of misfortune: serious accident followed by 2 brain surgeries, radiotherapy, another disfiguring illness. I’m 67 and it’s rubbish

@Hollyhocksandlarkspur If you live a long time?? I am 62. Parents, in laws, Aunts, Uncles and several close friends all dead.

I’m 68 and so glad to have retired. I’ve known far too many people who died before they reached pension age, I’m grateful to have lived this long, but I’ve no aspiration to grow old.

In some ways life is better - time to do what I want to do, no rushing from school to other activities with DC's, no nagging them about homework etc, no money or housing worries. Happy that DC's are doing well and there are several grandchildren to spoil. And I enjoy my part time job.
But I would like to see more of them all (but realise they have their own lives, families and jobs so glad of video phones and what's app), don't like getting older and losing fitness etc, have lost one or two friends.

It 💯 gets better even with the health conditions! Less bills (eg no mortgage) better pay, no dependents holidays cost less etc

💯 this too

This

@EmpressaurusKitty I love this 😊 Mine got better after divorce too, I'm only 41 and excited to hear you say that you're still happy 🥰

Mine is worse primarily for financial reasons after divorce, I am not long out of that, but I had my kids late in life so I am early 50s with young kids on my own, one still in primary, and I would rather struggle for now financially than put her in wraparound school care, so for now, that's that - but even when she's in secondary, if she carries on wanting to do her extra curriculars, I will still not be able to get a full-time job in the city as she will need carting around to a few things, and I want to give my kids those kinds of opportunities if I can. We live in an expensive area in the UK, and it is pretty much beyond my reach to ever get on the property ladder again, at my age, and I worry every day about how on earth I am going to manage to survive, once I am too old to work enough hours to pay the bills.

Two accidents in the last couple of years mean my health isn't what it was, took a toll on my ability to exercise so the weight is up, and it all compounds - I feel lethargic and frumpy. I am still injured and just can't move like I used to/like I need to to lose weight. Menopause weight too, I guess. And I am just so tired and drained. I have zero family. It's just my kids and me.

I had a great life before marriage, I was well-educated, had a blast at uni, was well travelled in my twenties and thirties, super fit, partied hard, had it all going for me, job I was respected in and enjoyed. I bought my own home, on my own, I was free and independent and living really well.
Married an idiot. I don't know what I was thinking. I think I felt he was my last chance at having kids before I got too old.

My kids make me so happy, they are wonderful, but fuck me, my life is hard now, and I really worry about the future. I had it made, until he fucked off with a younger model. And now I don't have my kids EOW, and I hate that.

It will take a decent lottery win to get me on track again - 1m£ to buy a modest 3-bed round here, allow me to reduce my hours to at least get one full day off in the week, and take the stress of a poverty working all hours retirement away. The lack of security is a major stress, and I am sure it's taking years off my life.

IME - worse. Its nothing that I had ever planned for.

Work until you die?? Don't be so dramatic. I'm recently retired and I can tell you that my life is already much more enjoyable than it was when I was working.

Also I don’t expect to ever have a paid off mortgage so not even that to look forward to!

My childhood was difficult
My 20's beset with grief
My
30's & 40's lovely but busy child rearing

I love love love my 50's,

My 30s are infinitely better than my 20s so this hasn't been my experience at all.

I agree that life gets better with age, but we don't all have mortgages paid off by retirement. Some of us will be renting for life.

Some things get worse (aching knees etc) but many things are better for me - independence, not caring what others think, time to myself after retirement, still learning new skills and improving previous ones.