To think life gets worse, not better, as you age?

[HangryCrab]

People say “it gets better,” but does it really? More responsibilities, declining health, fewer friends, and work until you die - what exactly is getting better?

Surely it all depends on genetics, lifestyle and luck? I don't think you can generalise

For its improved financial position and freedom as the kids get older. But appreciate that's not everyone's position, I do worry about health as I age, but trying to do what I can to maintain as best I can.

I agree a lot of the externals get worse in terms of ageing, illness and approaching death. Which is why many realise as they age that it's only the internals that really matter in determining how happy we are. If we've learned to find meaning in our lives, caring for others, finding peace and contentment, gaining control over our negative states of mind etc, which can come through training but to an extent naturally happens with age for some people.

I now have less responsibility- children grown, work left behind

I have my health and time to focus on it, and more time to spend with friends than ever before

I am financially stable - at long last ( doubt I will ever stop twitching though!)

I have more self confidence, i am happier being me - because enough people have liked me as me over the years that i no longer stress if I don't get along with someone

I have time for my hobbies and have time to make friends with people with the same hobbies

I have time to help in my community in ways that are appreciated and make me feel Valuable

If I am
Like my mother I have decades of this to come

My life has improved immensely as I've gotten older. Especially since hitting 40. Better clarity on things, kids are grown up, finances are better, relationship is better. I love getting older.

It's getting better for me so far, I'm late 30s so it may change as I get older. I have gotten more content and confident as I have gotten older. I don't have the insecurities I had in my 20s. My health is still good, probably feel overall healthier as I don't drink anymore and I sleep and eat better than I used to.

Early to mid forties was my peak best times.

I'm early 50s and I'm actually enjoying life more than 10 years or so ago, when I divorced. Not as much financial stress, and more opportunities to go out with friends due to children being older. I'm also enjoying seeing my children go out into the world. I sometimes worry about future health, but I worry less about what people think of me, and whether I'm doing the right thing or not.

What a cheerful post.

Life is what you make of it. Yes, sometimes unfortunate circumstances are thrust upon you and it’s hard but it should make you more resilient in the long run. Change what you can change, accept the rest and have a more positive outlook on life.

YABU, because life is utterly unique to each one of us.

So many people on this thread still young in their thirties or forties.

OP I agree. Your parents and Aunts and Uncles die. some friends die, you start getting health issues. I do not have anything serious, but I do have back issues and am scared of falling over now. Friends are getting injections for hips or knees and a few have more serious health issues. You end up having to give up sports or activities that are high impact.

You get to the age where in lots of jobs you start being seen as the old woman and get ignored. If you are made redundant, and very many people are as they age, then you will struggle to get another job and may end up back in minimum wage type jobs.

BUT most older people report a higher quality of life because you do end up more grateful for what you do have. I have a long term partner, I have friends, and unlike some of my friends I am still alive. Getting older is about loss. But we also appreciate more what we do have.

Many people can be in their 80s before they start to feel old though

That's decades between your 40s - which do tend to be the most miserable - and your death and decay years

@Errors Simply ignoring realities and being told to cheer up is guaranteed to make people more unhappy

I'm 47 both kids at Uni work full time over 3 days and living a lovely life. The hectic days of juggling work, single motherhood and kids are behind me and I can honestly say I love it!

in my 20s I was horribly insecure and constantly felt like I was chasing after a life that I didn’t want to be left out of

in my thirties I found my peace, my person + had my children

in my forties I have less physically relentless childcare - I have more time for personal goals and fitness - I am much more centred in myself and give much less of a damn about what anyone thinks about me

my fifties look like even more me time, some more travel, time for focus on professional / personal goals

I don’t think getting older necessarily sucks - my parents have great, active, social lives in their seventies.

look after your body to minimise the chances of physical decline happening too early, maintain a broad spectrum of interests and social outlets. I think it can all be what you make of it.

I do not think the 40s are your miserable years by a long way.
The median age for women in the UK to die is 84. I am sure most start feeling old before their eighties.

@Hooplahooping You are not old yet. Sorry you do not understand what the OP is saying.

I’m sixty this year and for me, life just gets better and better.

Aside from the baby years, which I loved, I would say my fifties have been the happiest decade of my life. Completely given up on bloody useless men, focused on my DC and my career.

Sure, I have a couple of minor health issues, but so do many younger people. I have very few fucks to give about anything I have no direct control over, and which doesn’t directly impact me, my family and DDog.

I am confident, solvent, independent and happy.

Nationally the surveys show that your 40s are the least happy decade

That's in on average thing

With regards to years of ill health before death - a huge amount of that is lifestyle

Depends doesn’t it . I’m an optimist , late 50s, retired , numerous health conditions that are all well managed and I have a thoroughly pleasant life . But then I’ve always had a very nice life with the odd blip for bereavements which everybody gets .

I’m enjoying my life more as I get older tbh. I find I’ve got more disposable cash than I had 10/15 years ago which means I can go on holiday more. I’m also working towards early retirement, what’s not to like? Everyone’s different so there’s no one size fits all answer.

My life went off a cliff edge when I was 40 and I'm still struggling to get back as I approach 50. It has been the toughest decade of my life without a doubt. Failed marriage, failed health, financial stress, the lot.

Depends on age. I can imagine 80s/90s could be quite depressing for some if your health declines and loved ones are dead/dying.

Speak for yourself op but that last 15 years have been fabulous. I'm soon to be 60 but I'm working full time in a job I love, seeing friends I'm in a happy and fun marriage. I have more money than I've ever had. Any health worries ( mainly menopausal) have been dealt with.
My elderly parents are in great health and are showing no signs of slowing down yet.

Sure it can turn on a sixpence but so far I'm happy.

There's 'age' and 'age' isn't there op? Most people have a pretty rubbish last couple of years before they die, but if you are talking about people in their 50s and 60s, then lots of people are having great lives.