My DP isn't really very happy about my mumsnet use. Who else gets the same feeling?

[lucyellensmum]

Thats it really, he has never outwardly said "fuck me, id wish you would not do that" but he has made little comments about it taking up too much of my time and that he is not keen about me discussing our private life on here.

I know that there was Subaroos thread, about this, and i was going to post on there but i didnt want it to appear that i was not supporting her, her situation is blatantly quite different, and i only hope she returns soon having been a great support to me in the past few months.

It did make me wonder though about how our partners feel about it, i know i feel guilty about being on Mnet sometimes and my DP just doent get the attraction/addiction. So honestly girls, do you feel guilty about MN sometimes and what do your partners really think, if anything?

DP always seems quite interested by what I'm reading, especially if I'm giggling to myself- doesn't seem to have a problem with it. He doesn't 'get' it though

mine hates it LOL

but then i hate football so i consider it quits

mind you i try not to be on it when he's around.

my dh doesnt really get it, he's better about it now. when i had my ep last feb everyone was so lovely and supportive that he was overwhelmed and understood a little better. however, now that i am doing ok he doesnt see why i need mn and doesnt understand that i have formed real friendships on here!

I think dh 'gets' my addiction in as much as he understand that I 'need' it
but hs does sometimes mention that I get mor done and feel better when I spend more time off it and he is right

I hadn't done a virus chack for ages, so I did one and there was a keylogger on my PC. There aren't many folk with enough skill to put one on have access to my pc, so I'm guessing it was him.

Only other candidates Au Pair - who was lovely and now gone, Builder - who used to let himself in my office and check his email on my time or our pc expert chappie - who comes and sorts out problems.

He isn't that keen at all and often comes into my office and has a look and a moan. Although the other day he sent me a link for a new forum in case I was interested, perhaps he wants me away from the pitchfork weilding harpies to somewhere fluffier!

DH not keen either - except when he wants to know something!

I have gotten into a rut lately and he partly blames MN. Am not going out and about as much - something I am trying to deal with.

Am off out now in fact!

My DP doesn't mind it and does know that I slag him off post about him at times. I rarely come online when he is here though so it doesn't impact our time together.

I occasionally get a "house is a tip but bet you've been MNetting today" teasing type comments, he is normally right

i rarely come on MN tbh, hardly get the time (today ds is off to grandparents for the day so i'm off to get hair cut shortly and just leisurely taking my time unlike normal!). good on you girls for getting online so much!

DH can't complain - he has his own little group of Captain Scarlet fan fic writers & is always on the forum or MSN with them. He also goes on the BBC Have your Say forum but he says the level of intelligence on MN is much better. I'm always expecting him to pop up on here one day!

Imo it's the reverse of us not getting why they need to play computer games.

That being said, I do kind of sympathize as a lot of people post quite personal information on here - how many would be happy for their O's to post about your personal lives on the internet?

I do think dh would rather I didn't spend quite as much time on here, but on the other hand if we're ever talking about something he'll say "well what does mumsnet say?". But then I've never posted to complain about him on here so maybe he doesn't feel as threatened by it.

well dh thinks it's brilliant when we have a problem/question and i say "i'll go on mumsnet" and is always amazed by how brilliant the answers are, e.g. dd's egg allergy, plants for front garden, recommendations for a book on dealing with over-independent stroppy 4 year olds, etc etc.

however i don't think he has any idea i am on it most days on all sorts of random subjects... thinks i'm working / checking e-mail probably!

I suppose that some men see MN as a little threatening [sp]because we MNs deal with such different and diverse topics maybe if The hubbys/partners were to have a forum prodominatly [sp] for men us girls would feel the same and lets face it anything that keeps us outta the kitchen/bedroom is bound to piss them off upset them.

have to say I would be mightily pissed off if I found a keylogger on my computer though.

same as amidaiwish

DH has never really commented.

Although I don't post any personal stuff about our relationship on here, and I think he would be uncomfortable if I did.

If he analysed my MN usage, I think he'd be relieved, as it's cheaper for me to twitter on on MN, than be sat in a pub, chatting with RL friends.

Mine has a chatroom of his own, where they all talk about cars. Boooorrriinnnggg.

We were discussing the other night about how people now have a real-life social life and an online social life. I think he likes MN because he knows it stops me from being quite so isolated; I have a small baby and I live in a country where I can't speak the language, so some days without MN I would have no human interaction at all between 6.30am and 8pm.

All that said, neither of us would ever discuss anything deeply personal online.

when i was with my exh ,he used to get the right arse about it

firstly he would tell me not to mention him at all on here, then when i was sleeping he would find all the posts i made, and come wake me up in the middle of the night, ranting about the fact i hadnt mentioned him, and it meant i didnt love him

My dp wouldn't be interested in reading anything I posted and knows that I've posted awful things about him, he thinks it's better than confiding in friends sometimes and likes hearing what other people think.
He does think I spend far too much time on here though!

dh would not be happy at all if i discussed anything personal on mn, so i don't. i talk to my rl friends about stuff like that and just use mn for a bit of fun and the odd bit of advice

dh has no problem with it at all. he has his own (fishing) chat room (yawn) and sees MN as superb resource and great place for me to vent/get support. it's a bit suspect isn't it, all this dp objection. bit controlling?

I would undrstand it, the men minding, if we all posted our rl identities but we don't so I cannot see that there is an issue.

DH does get a bit pissed off by the amount of time I spend on here, but MN has been my lifeline during my maternity leave and it is hard to just switch off when he gets in.

Anyway, if I'm not one here he is just fart arsing around on Macrumors or something

Dh doesn't mind care if I'm on it or not, gives him time to have DD on his own. He sometimes says about a certain situation, 'oh you start a thread on MN and see what they say' or if there is something we are not quite sure of with regards to DD, he will say ask MN.

i personally think its better to rant on here about my partner if i need to because if you rant to friends or family your partner might then feel weird around them or your friends opinion of you and your partner might change, where as on here no one knows you and you get advice that aint one sided, people you dont know often give better advice that aint bias.

in our case it's not controlling, i've made myself too easily identifiable on here due to what we both do work wise and given that we both have a web presence as our rl selves, it would be really embarrassing if someone linked it all.

but if i really needed to vent about something, i'd just do it under a different name