Teachers : what's the worst thing about the job now?

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I've name changed , but been here many years and teaching for 22 years.
Dreading going back on Monday. For me , the worst bit is the increasingly poor behaviour of students and the continual parental complaints and allegations.
Anyone else dreading it and fancy a solidarity thread?

@Phewthatwasclose How do I know they're on screens all the time? Because:

-I have 5 year olds being delivered to school in a pram, clutching a phone

• They are greeted at the end of the day by an adult giving them a device
• I see parents not engaging with their children

-When I do home visits, there are no toys

• Parents tell us, proudly, that their children have a 6pm bedtime; they're sent to their beds to watch something until they fall asleep, often not for hours and hours
• The children tell us that's what they do
• The children come to school unable to talk because they're not used to engaging in conversation

An example would be a pair or trio attracting each other like magnets, very love-hate, but actually spending every break or lunch break being either verbally or physically unkind to each other, one or other ending up in tears. My TAs would spent a lot of time helping them learn different games or ideas of things to do outside. In class I would read stories and directly teach as part of PSHE so much about how to be a good friend, how to treat each other. During independent playtime I would be in the sand etc with them, consciously modelling manners and conversation. I’d tell my class I was looking out for people being a good friend to give constant praise and stickers, we’d celebrate examples as a class. Of course this is a key part of the Reception curriculum, and they are still learning and lots really come on with this. But for some, despite everything we did, the behaviours they witnessed at home overrode what we taught. Some of these children witness adults in their own homes using default methods of communicating such as shouting, swearing and storming off, making a huge drama about everything, so unsurprising they’d copy really.

Dealing with these constant friendship issues, and their parents then also getting involved (getting very het up, defensive and upping the ante), took up so much time that in the end I had to very firmly tell one trio, their parents and my team that they needed a complete break from each other, it wasn’t working, and all three were now not allowed to play together and needed to explore friendships with others. Fortunately everyone agreed- that wouldn’t always be the case.

This, this and this!

I think it’s because schools are now so rigid and tough.

My daughter has Audhd. She just presents as quiet. When l started teaching in 96, children like her slipped under the radar. But there was no real pressure on them. So they were ok. It’s the pressure in school that’s bringing the number of special needs to the fore.

And Covid. Mine didn’t want to go back because she liked the quiet at home and said she’d got out of the habit of being with others. This was in Y10. Became an EBSA in Year 12 due to pressure.

l left teaching in 21. I taught textiles. I had 2 visually impaired kids in my class. Along with 10 others with SEND. I had no support. So if l sat with the VI kids ( health and safety) handing a piece of dangerous electrical equipment with a constantly moving needle which they couldn’t see, the rest of the ckass just rioted/ got bored/ stabbed each other with scissors. It was horrific. The stress was unreal.

Everything people have said is true, particularly the issue with parents being pushy and wanting every diagnosis under the sun. Well I have had enough of being blamed for everything whilst trying to keep all the plates spinning with little or no resources. I love the actual teaching but have decided to take early retirement after 30 years. I now only work part time so when I go back this week I will have 55 days left to teach.

A few years ago parents at my school were emailing teachers on Sundays and expecting replies the same day.

After that all parents had to email the office who would forward emails to teachers.

I was a teacher for 18 years and it was my time teaching in reception that finally broke me.
I had four incredibly challenging pupils who all needed additional support. You can't get that support until you can prove it's needed though.
We had to evacuate the classroom at least once a week as a child was going beserk, throwing furniture and trays of equipment. It would take me an hour to tidy the classroom at the end of those days, with my TA helping.
Two pupils in particular would attack other children unprovoked, run out of the classroom etc. they would kick me, throw things at me, spit in my face. I would have children cowering in the cloakroom, crying and scared that they were going to be hurt.
I had a walkie-talkie that I could use to call for help from SLT but sometimes it was out of reach and I was occupied trying to keep someone safe. Sometimes I had to just wait until an adult walked past my room so I could shout for help.
And then at the end of the day, a parent would have a go at me for not reminding their child to put their coat on at playtime.

There is accountability in schools. All teachers have performance management. If you don’t meet your targets you’re on your way out.

My last school didn’t give out teacher email addresses. That’s how it should be. I used to teach secondary. 350 kids a week. What if all the parents wanted to get in touch? Would you rather a teacher taught or answered 350 pointless emails?

Those who have left… what do you do now as a job?

No longer teaching. I was secondary. My biggest issues were:

Behaviour. (Also if you did follow the behaviour policy and remove students from your lesson it was then you who had the problem and a poor relationship with certain children..not that those children deliberately tried to ruin your lesson every time, or that other colleagues didn't apply the policy in the way it was meant e.g. two warnings then out).

Expectations over grades being down to the teacher not the student. The pressure over what you were doing to help them reach a 4 or higher, not what the student was doing to achieve this (actually revising).

Parent of children currently attending a linked infant and junior school here in South Yorkshire.

We see a hugely challenging situation for teachers, children and parents.

Massive staff turnover - new and inexperienced staff members who come in with enthusiasm who look tired and stressed after the first term.

A clear lack of funding for premises needing refurbishment and for new equipment.

An odd method of implementing punishment where the teachers continually keep the whole class in at break, or reduce their breaks by 5 minutes when the same repeat offenders cause disruption.

Bullying - a poor and formulaic approach to resolving issues. When clearly something is one sided where one child has an issue with another, no support offered to the innocent party and no feedback offered after a so called resolution.

When we’ve tried to discuss anything with our middle son’s teacher, she just gets defensive and claims to not know anything about it. So my son’s concerns fall on deaf ears.

Our teachers look unhappy generally. It’s a sad sight. Two of my three kids often say they hate it, thankfully one likes it.

I’d hate to be a student in this era.

There should be accountability in schools and teachers should be contactable in the same way other professions are accountable.

The same way I can email my GP at all hours and expect a response before work next day?

Or the way all the patients stand outside my dentist at 3:30 discussing which of them is the weak link?

Or maybe I should report crimes to the police and complain that not all their officers are of equal quality?

Maybe I could contact my husband's employer about something that happened at home with his laptop and let them know that I expect them to impose consequences?

It’s not the child’s disability that is the issue. It’s the lack of support, funding and training. It’s the sheer frustration of wanting so desperately to help a child but you can’t due to the size of the class, the lack of TA’s etc.

I'm now the FD of our family business having done a qualification to become a chartered accountant.

This is a really good question.

I’m 38. It’s definitely worsened since I was at school myself. I think the biggest reason for this is when I was a child, parents accepted a school having consequences for poor behaviour, didn’t question it and actually reinforced disapproval at home.

I taught Reception from 2010-19, then resigned to be a SAHM. My previous posts detail poor behaviour from both children and parents I experienced then.

Sadly now, as a Mum on the school run, I feel I am in a minority with being a strict parent. I don’t tolerate my children running off. On the odd occasion a teacher has caught me about behaviour, I have believed them and apologised, then spoken to my child at home and removed privileges. I know many others who are in complete denial, they disbelieve and argue with staff, they telephone to complain about utter nonsense, they demand meetings with SLT to complain about teachers about utter nonsense. Our Head has to show CCTV footage to get some parents to actually see that their child was in fact thd instigator, not being ‘bullied’.

One Mum who’s child injured mine lied and blamed another child who had done nothing. No apology, acknowledgment. Proudly says her daughter doesn’t listen to her, does what she wants, but is so kind to other children. Utter nonsense. I really struggle to listen to it. It’s sad that despite my son being 6 and more than ready to play at someone’s house without me, I hugely distrust some of the parents, and have only really found one couple who I trust, who are calm and honest, and who’s son is so well behaved at my own home and nice to my younger child. I have told my son to hang onto this lovely friend!

I was horrified having a family meet up at one friend’s. We have taught our children not to jump on people’s furniture, wait to be offered food, say please and thank you, sit down whilst eating, knock before entering a sibling’s bedroom, etc etc. My kids are 3 and 6, their’s are 8, 6 and 2. Their behaviour throughout the day was horrendous, running around screaming and shouting. Riding indoor garden toys boisterously indoors. Trashing the house/furniture. Zero table manners, my 3 year old put the 8 year old to shame. Oldest one trying to take my son off into the toilet to tell him a secret, I put an instant stop to that, told him no, we go to the toilet on our own. And this friend is also a teacher! Genuinely couldn’t how/why she has allowed her children to run riot like this. Dad tries to discipline and she completely overrides him, so he’s given up. She will not say anything to them. My own husband was relieved to get back in the car and basically begged me ‘can it be a while before we have to visit again?’ 😂

I do wonder if Covid has made parents and children increasingly anxious, and parents are terrified to upset their children who have been through a tough time. I firmly believe if more parents used the words ‘no’ and ‘stop that right now’ with confidence and authority far more frequently, than we wouldn’t be in this mess.

My friend from work often says "Take away the Teacher Pension and the holidays and there would be a mass exodus."

I agree.

A lot of us women in the 30-40 bracket decide to leave when we can't make motherhood and the job work sadly but then again a lot of us feel compelled to stay because of the holidays at the same time as our DC. I must say this is a huge pull back to the profession for me. With the scandalous cost of childcare in this country, which is yet another Woman Problem, it's no wonder really.

I'm out of the loop as I'm having a career break and considering not returning to teaching bbut can anyone shed any light on the teacher pension actually being in line now with state pension age? Isn't that the case now?

Behaviour- and that behaviour being sanctioned by the parents.
Absolute lack of resilience in students and very limited ability to give a flying f*.
Massive micro management from SLT combined with zero real support.
Surge in SEND diagnosis (often self diagnosed but we need to use strategies whilst waiting) and school refusal, EBD. Literally means I have to be offering 10 different strategies per class a lot of the time.
Imagine a class with 2 EBD kids kicking off, whilst the anxious one demands to see the PSO, 2 of them still can't read confidently in year 11 and have to go to intervention, 3 others need you to model a written response individually, on different coloured paper in different fonts that you have to sort yourself at breaktime instead of having a wee, and you know you have to get them all to a 4 at GCSE despite 10 of them being naturally at a level 2 or 3 short of a miracle, but hey- we must be not doing our job if they don't get the 4.
The system needs a change. Why are we not offering trade qualifications from 14? Why must I be forcing kids who hate it and are not capable through the gcse? Why can't they have options that appeal to them? I say this as mum to a 19 year old who hated school, and now is the top scorer in the plumbing class.

@Millysmum87 the holidays argument is quite an interesting one. It's definitely great for the childcare, obviously, but I'm part of an online group of ex teachers and a lot of them say they don't mind having fewer holidays as they don't feel like they need them as much, as they're not as stressed, and it's nice to be able to take them when they like.

The pension is very good though. It's a shame teachers feel so trapped with the holidays/pension, and put their mental health on the line just to keep hold of the convenience.

@Tricho As a PS to the above, I used to spend the bulk of my holidays working tbh, certainly when SLT. If my SLT salary was considered in terms of the hours I put in, I was still on minimum wage.

My friend says to people with your view re: the holidays: "Yes we do have three months off a year but to earn that we have to sustain a work-life doing a year's work in nine months." 😂 It's true for many.

Checking back I emailed youngest’s teacher 5 times so far since September. Three times about pick ups where a friend was helping me out due to work commitments, once to request to pick a group of the kids up at 2:30 as we were taking them to afternoon theatre show in an adjacent town and once to send in photos for show and tell.
It still surprises me this is sent to the class teacher vs an admin but I suspect part of the issue is school budgets no longer allow for sufficient admin staff to handle these kinds of requests. Also think years back you could have just told teacher your friend asked you to pick up and no one would have checked where now there are procedures they need to follow. I’m not suggesting it’s a bad thing the procedures exist but they create a need to directly communicate with the school that didn’t exist before.

Yes I'd absolutely take half the holidays to not actually be in work from 7-7 5x a week, then working for about three hours+ at home every evening after dinner and tidying up etc (and not to mention several hours most weekends too), which was my norm before becoming a mum.

Yes, and now as a mum you constantly feel guilty don't you? I remember rushing storytime so I could go and get my lessons planned and finished ready for the next day so I could go to bed at a decent time. If I didn't, and spent the evening with my child, I'd feel guilty about the school work.
The holidays are all well and good, but parenting isn't restricted to the holidays. There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both well, so you feel like a constant failure. I felt like that part time, so I can only imagine how full time teachers feel.

It's no surprise so many female teacher mums in their 30s leave, or struggle with work related stress.

In response to the what has changed, I think it's the issue of responsibility (child and parent).

Even at A level when I first started teaching over 15 years ago, students would turn up with their own pad of paper, pencil case full of pens, highlighters, and ring bingers to organise their work into. They also took pride in this and using their own money to buy colourful folders etc (mostly through their own summer jobs and weekends jobs, not just parents pocket money). Gradually this started to shift and you began to see a few asking to borrow a pen each lesson, and some asking friends for paper which just got shoved in their bag, crumpled which they would say they would put in a folder at home.
A bit further on again and it reached a point of giving out exercise books as no student would come with their own notebooks or folders, and pretty much handing out a pen to most of the class too. This was A level where they want to be treated as adults but were actually no different to any other class in secondary, and for some worse as they believed they had a right to be there and could to what they wanted with no consequences (no detention for sixth formers).

I understand cost of living has had an impact on families but it is concerning that the responsibility of providing even a pen has now fallen on schools (who have no budget for this) and children do not come prepared to school and are not prepared to learn.

This.