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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I'm pregnant? Or is it perimenopause?

26 replies

taketothesky · 22/02/2025 17:12

I know I'm probably overthinking things, but I don't have anyone to speak to about this in real life. Posting here for traffic!

DTD on Valentine's Day (a Friday) and the condom broke. I think it was around ovulation, though likely a day or two afterwards. TMI but I remember thinking that I had so much CM on the Wednesday before, and it has begun drying up by the 14th and by the evening of the 15th my CM was creamy.

Literally since the condom broke, I have had cramping and breast tenderness. I know it's too early so likely psychosomatic or linked to ovulation, but it hasn't let up. I do get these as PMS symptoms, but the difference is now my breasts are getting visible blue veins. My breasts aren't as sore as with my pregnancies and my nipples aren't in agony or anything (again, like they were in my pregnancies) but I did get blue veins when I was previously pregnant.

To make it more confusing, I am a few months away from 40 and think I am at the very early stages of perimenopause. Over the past year, my cycle has been getting shorter and heavier. The past 6 months or so, I have had spotting a few days before my period. I have other symptoms too, which is why I have been playing such close attention to my CM even though I haven't been TTC (trying to figure out what is happening with my body!).

So now I am trying to figure out if I am pregnant, PMSing or if it is more perimenopause chaos.

I'm really hoping I'm not pregnant. Though I would love any new child, my youngest is staring primary school this September and things are finally getting easier. My marriage is just starting to recover from the stress of sleepless night and toddler tantrums and I am just not sure we can cope again.

Before anyone asks, I researched the morning after pill but didn't get it as all the research said it was useless post ovulation.

AIBU to think I'm pregnant? Or is it more likely something to do with perimenopause?

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 22/02/2025 17:15

Just buy a test. Nobody here can tell you anything you don't already know.

Original poster
taketothesky · 22/02/2025 17:17

VickyEadieofThigh · 22/02/2025 17:15

Just buy a test. Nobody here can tell you anything you don't already know.

I thought as much. It's still too early I think, so will torture myself a few more days until
I can get an accurate result!

OP posts:
Original poster
taketothesky · 22/02/2025 17:53

Anyone get visible veins in perimenopause?

OP posts:
ChompandaGrazia · 22/02/2025 17:56

taketothesky · 22/02/2025 17:53

Anyone get visible veins in perimenopause?

Only time that’s happened to me is in pregnancy. POAS and I hope you get the result you want.

louisl8 · 22/02/2025 18:00

I'm 39 and thought I was peri, previous diagnosis of DOR so didn't think i could get pregnant again.

I'm 33 weeks pregnant tomorrow Grin take the test...

mummymissessunshine · 22/02/2025 18:09

Take the test!!

When this happened to me it was peri.

I spent a lot on negative tests in my early 40s!!!!!

mummymissessunshine · 22/02/2025 18:10

But. At 39 I was pregnant!!

(In fact didn't realise for 3m because periods were erratic)

So. Do the test!

Coercivecontrol · 22/02/2025 18:13

I think it’s possibly too early to test you need to wait till at least 10dpo?

Original poster
taketothesky · 22/02/2025 18:14

Took the only test I had at home which was negative, but I know it is still too early. Will pick up others tomorrow, but I think I have to wait until a bit further in the week.

OP posts:
Original poster
taketothesky · 22/02/2025 18:15

Coercivecontrol · 22/02/2025 18:13

I think it’s possibly too early to test you need to wait till at least 10dpo?

I think so too. Now I am just in the neurotic phase of over analysing every twinge....

OP posts:
Original poster
taketothesky · 22/02/2025 18:17

mummymissessunshine · 22/02/2025 18:09

Take the test!!

When this happened to me it was peri.

I spent a lot on negative tests in my early 40s!!!!!

It's reassuring to know that there is still a possibility it could be peri!

I know I would love any child that comes along, but I just really thought those days were done...

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 22/02/2025 18:20

You need to test with first morning urine, especially so soon after ovulation

Original poster
taketothesky · 22/02/2025 18:24

Zanatdy · 22/02/2025 18:20

You need to test with first morning urine, especially so soon after ovulation

Thanks for the reminder! It's been a while since I've had to do this....

OP posts:
ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/02/2025 18:26

I remember some tests can tell you quite a while before your period is due. They were accurate for me, twelve years ago. I totally understand the neurosis, I’d be the same in your position.

Original poster
taketothesky · 22/02/2025 18:35

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/02/2025 18:26

I remember some tests can tell you quite a while before your period is due. They were accurate for me, twelve years ago. I totally understand the neurosis, I’d be the same in your position.

Thanks! I've ordered a couple on those, but realistically I think it would be Tuesday at least until I could test with the hope of a reliable result.

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 23:13

taketothesky · 22/02/2025 17:12

I know I'm probably overthinking things, but I don't have anyone to speak to about this in real life. Posting here for traffic!

DTD on Valentine's Day (a Friday) and the condom broke. I think it was around ovulation, though likely a day or two afterwards. TMI but I remember thinking that I had so much CM on the Wednesday before, and it has begun drying up by the 14th and by the evening of the 15th my CM was creamy.

Literally since the condom broke, I have had cramping and breast tenderness. I know it's too early so likely psychosomatic or linked to ovulation, but it hasn't let up. I do get these as PMS symptoms, but the difference is now my breasts are getting visible blue veins. My breasts aren't as sore as with my pregnancies and my nipples aren't in agony or anything (again, like they were in my pregnancies) but I did get blue veins when I was previously pregnant.

To make it more confusing, I am a few months away from 40 and think I am at the very early stages of perimenopause. Over the past year, my cycle has been getting shorter and heavier. The past 6 months or so, I have had spotting a few days before my period. I have other symptoms too, which is why I have been playing such close attention to my CM even though I haven't been TTC (trying to figure out what is happening with my body!).

So now I am trying to figure out if I am pregnant, PMSing or if it is more perimenopause chaos.

I'm really hoping I'm not pregnant. Though I would love any new child, my youngest is staring primary school this September and things are finally getting easier. My marriage is just starting to recover from the stress of sleepless night and toddler tantrums and I am just not sure we can cope again.

Before anyone asks, I researched the morning after pill but didn't get it as all the research said it was useless post ovulation.

AIBU to think I'm pregnant? Or is it more likely something to do with perimenopause?

That was only last Friday would your body symptoms this soon?

Katemax82 · 22/02/2025 23:51

I felt really off 3 days before my period was due and I found out I was pregnant at 42

tiredmumof4yearold · 23/02/2025 00:06

43 when this happened to me and I was pregnant. My first sign was swollen painful boobs etc.

Original poster
taketothesky · 23/02/2025 01:47

tiredmumof4yearold · 23/02/2025 00:06

43 when this happened to me and I was pregnant. My first sign was swollen painful boobs etc.

My boobs aren't swollen, just painful! So here's hoping?

OP posts:
Original poster
taketothesky · 23/02/2025 01:50

Thanks @Pessismistic. I feel it's really early too but I just feel so odd. Unless it's all
In my head? But I am still so worried I can't manage to sleep. I genuinely don't know how I would cope and I feel so guilty thinking my DCs' lives would have to change...

OP posts:
Original poster
taketothesky · 23/02/2025 10:16

Trying not to symptom spot, but I had the night sweats last night and a headache now!

OP posts:
Xdorx · 05/12/2025 19:44

@taketothesky how did it turn out for you? I am 3 days late for my period and panicking at 43. Don't want to take a test. 😫😫 Last cycle was 24 days... this one is 31 days so far. Im usually 28 days. Feel so panicked.

NarnianQueen · 05/12/2025 20:57

Who has brainwashed women to think they’re closer to menopause than child bearing at 39? 😭

TheNameWasOnceChosen · 05/12/2025 21:15

I thought i was pregnant (even though we used something) when I was 40. Turns out it was the menopause.

FlamingoFloss · 05/12/2025 21:20

Xdorx · 05/12/2025 19:44

@taketothesky how did it turn out for you? I am 3 days late for my period and panicking at 43. Don't want to take a test. 😫😫 Last cycle was 24 days... this one is 31 days so far. Im usually 28 days. Feel so panicked.

Pls take a rest. It’s more stressful not knowing