WIBU to Facebook message this woman? House sale drama...

[AveAtqueVale]

Will try to keep this as brief as possible:

We're due to move house on Monday. We were supposed to exchange on Thursday, but our buyer never transferred her money. She is on holiday abroad and when the estate agent chased her up, she was drunk. Money was never transferred, exchange never happened. On Friday morning EA/ solicitors started chasing her again, and there was radio silence until early afternoon her solicitor emailed ours to say she's unwell and won't be completing on Monday. No further info as to whether this means 'but she can probably manage on Tuesday' or 'is pulling out entirely'. She's refusing to speak to EAs, and has only spoken to her solicitor, who told ours that she was in hospital (!) and not making much sense.
Meanwhile, almost all of our stuff has been packed up and taken off in two moving vans, and we're camping in our empty house for the weekend.

Obviously EAs/ solicitors not working today and tomorrow, so we are stuck waiting for Monday morning to see if we have any more idea what's going on. I'm mostly hoping she was just horrendously hungover yesterday and couldn't face/ manage the money side of things, and all will actually be fine. But no idea.

We've spent a significant amount of money on the removers as they packed too, and they need their vans back by Tuesday evening at the latest. So if we haven't completed by then we will have to have it all brought back, but obviously will still owe them their full fee. Not to mention the absolute hassle of having to unpack everything here and remarket the house etc if she is pulling out entirely 😫. There's a whole chain above us too in the same position - she's the bottom/ cash buyer so we're all kind of at her mercy.

Anyway - I've found her on Facebook and am contemplating messaging her directly to ask her (nicely!) what is actually going on. She might not even see it of course as we're not friends, so it might go into message requests. But I'm also worried that doing it at all is a bit stalkerish/ bordering on harassment! But at this stage would just welcome any kind of info even if it's bad news!

YANBU: Message her - you might get some info and it's perfectly ok in the circumstances!

YABU: Leave the poor woman alone - she's obviously got a lot going on and doesn't need you hounding her as well!

Also if anyone has any other words of wisdom/ ideas, I'd love to hear them 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Sorry OP, but I don't believe that your solicitor would have encouraged you to make a DEFINITE booking for your removals, when you hadn't even exchanged contracts, they may have said you could book it provisionally, but would have counselled you against a definite booking until you had exchanged contracts.

For future reference, it doesn't matter what ANYONE else in the chain says, if you have doubts about whether you'll be able to get a removal company in time, then you refuse to exchange on that date. If you had a provisional booking, and the removal company were hassling you for confirmation, but you still weren't in a position to exchange, then you should let the provisional booking go.

I know that everyone tries their best to fit in with the rest of the chain, for fear of losing their sale and/or purchase, but what has happened here, is even worse, as you're now committed to paying to move TWICE, unless by some miracle your buyer comes back on Monday and agrees to exchange and complete immediately, which in all honesty sounds unlikely to me if she's ill.

However, all that being said I really DO hope that it all works out for you, and that you come back to MN in a few days and tell us that you've safely moved in.

FINGERS CROSSED!

To be fair, the same thing happened to me regarding holidays.

I booked a 40th birthday holiday to Italy with my mum in December 2023, to take place in September 2024. I started the process of looking for a house to buy as a first time buyer in January 2024.
I did everything I was asked to do, when I was asked to do it. Months passed with waiting for other people to move their arses. Then all of a sudden they are demanding exchange the week I was going to be in Italy. No way was I cancelling my holiday.
I sent my deposit over a couple of days before I went away, and they phoned me up to get permission to exchange, just as I was getting on a bus in Milan. Then they phoned me again to say it was all done whilst I was on a boat in the middle of Lake Garda!
Then the estate agent phoned to congratulate me a couple of days later whilst I was strolling around Verona!

Sometimes things just all happen at once. Annoying, but it is what it is.

Yes, it sounds like the buyer is being an idiot, but people shouldn't put their entire lives on hold. Especially when so much of being the bottom of the chain is waiting around for other people.

This brings back horrible memories as the same thing happened to us last time we moved - we were due to exchange and complete simultaneously the Friday before a Bank Holiday and ended up with everything on a removal ban and living in a hotel with two young kids for a week.

in our case, it all worked out in the end and we sold to the same buyer just with a delay but it was hugely stressful and I’d never agree to exchange and complete on the same day again nor to a timetable which would mean I’d need to start packing before exchange. Also a lawyer, so don’t beat yourself up about this. It happens to the best of us!

I hope this works out for you too. As others have said, go through proper channels and don’t message her direct

You were very badly advised by your solicitor if they allowed you to plan an exchange and complete the day before a BH weekend - or indeed on a Friday generally.

Do not message her. This is why you employ a solicitor. Make them earn their fee. Once, on day of completion, our buyers funds did not clear. We were already half moved in to the new house and we were doing our own move on a very hot day. I went to the solicitor’s office and made him get back on the phone to resolve things. All our extra expenses were paid for by the buyer. Sadly, I think your buyer is about to walk away.

Surely her money should have been with the solicitors earlier, it's the solicitor that sends the funds generally. They have cocked up by not having the funds in place. In order to complete they will need the full balance available to transfer down the line so should have had that already as a cash buyer. I hope they've already done all the AML KYC checks they need to do. What a nightmare 😡

I've voted YABU not because I think you are, I'd feel thd same BUT, it's generally bad form to contact the other party in a house sale (even if they are being unreasonable).

Put worldly goods in storage, find a short term rental and put house back on market immediately. She is trying to back out of the purchase, but doesn’t have the guts to tell you.

How unprofessional of the EA to say the buyer was drunk. The woman could have been sick or had a stroke.

Her solicitor should have had the funds transferred in advance. They should have been able to warn your solicitor in advance that exchange was unlikely as this hadn't happened.

The system of exchanging and completing so close together is nonsense.

Definitely, don't message her. She sounds very flaky. Do it through the channels of your and her solicitors and keep the pressure on them. Keep at them. She refuse to buy your house. She sounds a bit unhinged

Had something similar, but everyone’s funds had transferred and the dopey bugger at the end of the chain wasn’t even packed and ready to go.

I handed my keys over at 12.30 and we made our way, with a packed van too our new house. They were still waiting to move stuff into their van at the back of the house, as they couldn’t take their stuff to their new house.

They spoke to their sellers, who said that they may not be packed until the Sunday, so we would all have to wait!

I got straight onto my solicitor and also her EA and told them in no uncertain terms to get her to shift her arse or she would be paying for 2 lots of secure storage and accommodation for 2 families over-night.

The funniest part was she was the only one who had paid for a ‘professional moving’ company. We finally got moved in fully by about 9pm that night.

Please don’t message the seller. I also think you are crazy to have spent money and packed up your house when you hadn’t exchanged.

I’m sorry what a nightmare, I think it was bad advice for them to tell you to book removals etc when you haven’t exchanged

I'd be inclined to get on the phone to the estate agent and instruct them to send a strongly worded message to the buyer or phone her today, indicating that as she does not seem able or willing to proceed and in the absence of any communication from her confirming a definite date for exchange and completion, that you have decided to re market the property from Monday unless you hear from her today. It sounds like you have nothing to lose at this stage and in the event she is just a stupid, clueless first time buyer, it might just be the nudge she needs to arrange the exchange. If she still does nothing/fails to respond, then you've got your proof that she is not intending to proceed and you can then plan accordingly.

I or the person we were buying from asked if we could exchange numbers at some point because it was annoying having to go through a third party, so we sent messages on WhatsApp, and it was really handy. So if anything, I'd try sending a friend request. Then it's in their hands. They may well be in hospital and anxious about getting message through, you never know.

Oh what a nightmare, hope it all works out.

Yes that's true you can get a bridging loan if you're desperate to go ahead with move.
I also had seller pull out on the day of exchange, so for that reason I never would accept a short exchange and completion. Even with a lot of stuff to pack I'd make sure it only started on the day of exchange.

You keep in touch with the movers until dates are confirmed. They’re used to doing this with people in chains. And yes, you start packing after exchange if you’re paying for packing!

How awful, I really feel for you as we had issues with our house sale and purchase a few years ago. Exchanging and completing on the same day is such a terrible idea considering anyone can pull out at any time until exchange happens. Surely there has to be a better way. I wouldn’t message her in this situation as it could do more harm than good.

Yes, this is also what I'm thinking. I'm pretty sure that where I live you sign a contract promising to buy and put down some money earlier on.

To be honest our solicitors were rubbish, they kept saying they would chase things but never bothered. We didn't use them for our next purchase which luckily all went ahead smoothly.

This.
Absolute nightmare for you.

What a nightmare!!
When we sold a few months ago our EA checked with us sooo many times if we have found a place to rent, if we’re all packed, if we need help packing (he offered to personally come help, just to make sure it all goes smoothly!). We repeatedly put his mind at ease, but I can now see why he was checking this many times, he must’ve seen cases like this at some point.

If you've exchanged but not completed there are penalties that come into play usually 25%. Ask your solicitor on Monday.

This happened to us. In the end we didn't pull out of our commitment but did have a rental lined up in case the sale didn't go through after the weekend. Thankfully it did but if not we would have had to find somewhere else to buy ( but as cash buyers).