WIBU to Facebook message this woman? House sale drama...

[AveAtqueVale]

Will try to keep this as brief as possible:

We're due to move house on Monday. We were supposed to exchange on Thursday, but our buyer never transferred her money. She is on holiday abroad and when the estate agent chased her up, she was drunk. Money was never transferred, exchange never happened. On Friday morning EA/ solicitors started chasing her again, and there was radio silence until early afternoon her solicitor emailed ours to say she's unwell and won't be completing on Monday. No further info as to whether this means 'but she can probably manage on Tuesday' or 'is pulling out entirely'. She's refusing to speak to EAs, and has only spoken to her solicitor, who told ours that she was in hospital (!) and not making much sense.
Meanwhile, almost all of our stuff has been packed up and taken off in two moving vans, and we're camping in our empty house for the weekend.

Obviously EAs/ solicitors not working today and tomorrow, so we are stuck waiting for Monday morning to see if we have any more idea what's going on. I'm mostly hoping she was just horrendously hungover yesterday and couldn't face/ manage the money side of things, and all will actually be fine. But no idea.

We've spent a significant amount of money on the removers as they packed too, and they need their vans back by Tuesday evening at the latest. So if we haven't completed by then we will have to have it all brought back, but obviously will still owe them their full fee. Not to mention the absolute hassle of having to unpack everything here and remarket the house etc if she is pulling out entirely 😫. There's a whole chain above us too in the same position - she's the bottom/ cash buyer so we're all kind of at her mercy.

Anyway - I've found her on Facebook and am contemplating messaging her directly to ask her (nicely!) what is actually going on. She might not even see it of course as we're not friends, so it might go into message requests. But I'm also worried that doing it at all is a bit stalkerish/ bordering on harassment! But at this stage would just welcome any kind of info even if it's bad news!

YANBU: Message her - you might get some info and it's perfectly ok in the circumstances!

YABU: Leave the poor woman alone - she's obviously got a lot going on and doesn't need you hounding her as well!

Also if anyone has any other words of wisdom/ ideas, I'd love to hear them 🤦🏻‍♀️.

How frustrating you must be climbing the walls!
Tbh I would be tempted to message kind friendly message saying you are so sorry to hear she's unwell , explain situation with movers and say you need to make plans and know whats going on, ask what her intentions are one way or other.
She may not reply but I guess at very least it will make you feel a bit more proactive.
If she's going to pull out I don't think one polite message will change anything but might be wrong.
If there was an emergency I'd expect a bit more info.
Was she definitely drunk when EA spoke to her and not ill?
We did go on holiday at exchange, honeymoon, not ideal but no way round it other than cancelling which we could not do without losing money and didn't want to cancel anyway. But there was a 2week gap between exchange and completion.
I'm surprised at solicitors advice they can't guarantee anything really especially before exchange.
Good luck

What a mess

we exchanged 2w before with a date in mind to complete which did happen

seems wrong someone can pull out so close to moving

Could be the estate agent pushing for completion so he gets the sale in this month's target, and gets the commission on next payday. May have been putting pressure in buyer at the bottom. Or she may have forgotten to sign, return a form etc and doesn't want to deal with that on holiday as she isn't in any rush and again doesn't want estate agent hounding her.

I've been both an estate agent and a first time buyer and can see lots of possible scenarios here. Essentially though, the gap between exchange and completion was way too short. Only good reason for a gap this short is if there is a 100per cent mortgage involved. Otherwise, it's far too risky.

Completely agree. Whilst I would say it’s preferable to have a week between exchange and completion, it is also perfectly normal to exchange and complete on the same day. Personally I wouldn’t want to but equally I don’t want weeks of being responsible for a property that I’m also not living in.

Op I really hope things work out for you.

She’s a twat but legally owes you nothing. I’d assume she’s going to pull out as this is not the behaviour of someone intending to buy a property.

I would assume she's pulling out and put the place back on the market. When dealing with the next buyer I'd insist on an absolute minimum of two weeks between exchange and completion, preferably more, and refuse to budge - it's part of the deal.

You may be able to negotiate with the removals people to transfer some of the cost to a later move. But the rest, I assume you'll just have to mark up to the price of the lesson that you don't commit to anything until you have the contracts exchanged, ie the deal is not done until the ink is dry.

Don't message.

Nothing can happen until Monday, so, other than appeasing your (understandable) anxiety, it serves no purpose.

She’s a total cow but don’t message her. Let the solicitors deal with it. Next time wait until you exchange - it’s annoying but things like this happen more than you think!

No advice, but the UK system of house buying is absolutely bonkers.

But it's an unwise thing to do because as you've seen here, you commit yourself to moving costs at the point when the buyer is legally committed to absolutely nothing. Fine if you're not living in the house that is being sold.

I would bet that a) she isn't in hospital and b) she isn't buying the house. Sorry OP.

You shouldn't have got movers in and moved all your stuff prior to exchange.

Someone who’ll behave that unreasonably isn’t likely to take well to the message, I’d leave her be.

I would message her as you have nothing to lose - and it would feel satisfying to make her realise you aren't some anonymous stranger she can muck about with. People like this hide behind 'process' and the fact most British people (it's a very non confrontational culture here) would just seethe in private.

Either she realises she's losing the house and gets moving, or she was never going to buy it and since she's cost you money - i'd message. All she can do is block you afterwards but what does that matter.

I wouldn't hide behind courtesy when the other person doesn't extend it. As for the pp who said she'd see it as stalking - wtf. Sending a message to someone on FB who is buying your house is not stalking, it's called communication.

Oh dear. I'd be worried she's blown the deposit money on the holiday.

Does money normally get sent on exchange rather than completion?

Similar happened to us. We had someone pull out a day before exchange. House packed into boxes (no removals at that point though), kids clubs cancelled, most furniture donated/sold (we were planning to buy new), kids told we are moving, etcetc.
The system is just ridiculous.
People like that are just not understanding the effect their actions have.

@AveAtqueVale never message her it might piss her off enough to cancel the purchase!! in saying that, who the hell goes on holiday when they are meant to be exchanging contracts on their first house?????

If someone gets pi55ed off by a message asking her about exchange to CANCEL the purchase - they didn't want the house to begin with! It's going to be their home, they'd be worried about losing their future home and pi55ing off the owner into cancelling the sale.

Yes, that's what my solicitor said when he was persuading me to exchange and complete within 3 days of each other.

When you have stood in your house, surrounded by packed boxes, unemployed because you've given up your job and £10,000 down on the deal then come and tell me its a good idea.

Let the solicitors handle it, that's all you can do. It sounds like she's not well and incapable of doing anything at the moment.

Unfortunately, you gambled it would all go through without a snag and had the movers booked on that gamble.

I do hope it all works out.

Unfortunately, until you have actually exchanged she can (and sadly from experience sometimes do!) pull out until then.
Really bad that you were encouraging to pack up your house before then.
Hope it all works out for you.

Get a bridging loan and put your house back on the market. Tell your agents to put a ticket up her.

No, don’t message. She is either being an idiot in which case it’ll make no difference or something is going on and it might make things worse. I’d wait until Monday. But I really feel you, hope things get sorted in the end x

Oh I'd be absolutely furious what a selfish cow. Buying and selling is so stressful without someone being an utter wanker at exchange. I don't believe she's too ill to sign a document or make a bank transfer if she was happily drinking on holiday.