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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move over a dog?

223 replies

Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 19:35

I literally can’t stand it any more. NDN have a dog with separation anxiety. It howls every second that they leave it. It starts as they drive away and continues till they return. If they go out for tea or whatever I can’t go to bed until they get back, my life is ruled by what time they are in the house.

I live in an old Victorian semi. I love this house and will loose money on it. If I sell tomorrow it’s not finished so I won’t get a good price. I have no money to finish it either so will have to sell as a project. I love the location. But I’m being driven insane and driven from my home by a fucking dog. I’m a dog lover and have dogs myself but this is something else.

Neighbors are sympathetic but can’t do anything to change it. Apparently they have tried many times. They have to leave the house and it does nothing but scream like a posessed wolf until they come back. They know it does it and don’t care.

Soundproofing is too expensive. I have no money and the party wall has 4 shared fireplaces so apparently it will be next to impossible.

So moving is my only option isn’t it? Has anyone else made this decision and regretted it? It’s a young dog so waiting it out isn’t an option I think I’ll have lost my shit by then. 😭

OP posts:
Addeline · 20/02/2025 19:39

You could try environmental health. I think they have policies on dogs that bark too much. They can issue enforcement notices I think. They need to put it in daycare or with a sitter if that’s happening.

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 19:39

They could take it to daycare. Or get it a companion.

In your shoes I'd offer to have it with me during the day before resorting to selling my beautiful house.

Not that you should have to; they are vile animal abusers. But needs must.

JemimaFlubberCluck · 20/02/2025 19:41

I would be banging on their door on a daily basis. Being “sympathetic” is not good enough and it’s crap that there’s nothing they can do. They can rehome a clearly miserable dog if they’re not able to give it the home and life it deserves. Report them to environmental health and complain at them every single time it happens. Why should you be forced out of your home because of their choices?

Sevenamcoffee · 20/02/2025 19:45

You poor thing how awful. I agree, keep complaining and shaming them. There are things they can do and ultimately they need to rehome the poor thing if they can’t look after it.

Mischance · 20/02/2025 19:45

Environmental Health and RSPCA.
NDNs know the problem and do not care about either you or the dog, so you need to report.

MyPeppyCat · 20/02/2025 19:46

I agree with the previous comments. Just be aware that any official complaint must be declared if you decide to sell anyway. This is a requirement of the TA6 Homebuyers form.

Pigeonqueen · 20/02/2025 19:47

You should tell the neighbours that you will be reporting them to the council for noise disturbance. And do it. They can’t just be “oh well” about it. It’s not fair. If it continues beyond that I would report them for animal cruelty as they’re clearly not meeting the dogs needs.

pootleondown · 20/02/2025 19:55

How long have they had it? Have they even bothered to try training it to be left or just buggered off from day one?

Silvertulips · 20/02/2025 19:57

Can they not drop the dog to someone else? Would you not have it in your house when you are home - that’s a bit tongue in cheek.

AcquadiP · 20/02/2025 19:58

As it is a young dog, it can still be taught to be alone without getting distressed every time they leave the house. They should seek the advice of a dog behaviourist as their efforts have clearly failed. It will take time but it can be done. Their behaviour isn't fair on you or their dog. I would suggest to them they consult a behaviourist as their dog is clearly not coping and you can't relax in your own home as a consequence.

Original poster
Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 19:59

The dog has companions. They have 3! They are very well cared for, walked etc. They do work from home some of the time but I presume have to go into the office at others which is when it kicks off. I don’t think the RSPCA will care a bit because it’s not a neglected dog.

It’s still howling now, presume they have gone for tea or something so I can’t put my kids to bed or relax. It’s like a form of torture. It’s not all day every day, but say they went shopping for an afternoon it’s none stop.

I don’t want the dog here. I have young kids and dogs of my own.

I just want out but I feel stuck. The house is half finished, can I sell it half renovated half not 🙁 what about when the survey comes up and there’s loads on it I know needs done but can’t afford to? Will buyers just run a mile. I’ve probably put 50k in so far because I thought I could stay forever…just gutted!

OP posts:
Original poster
Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 20:00

pootleondown · 20/02/2025 19:55

How long have they had it? Have they even bothered to try training it to be left or just buggered off from day one?

No clue. They moved in already owning it and the others. They are all young dogs. Seem really nice and friendly other than the noise.

OP posts:
Buzyizzy21 · 20/02/2025 20:02

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/02/2025 19:39

They could take it to daycare. Or get it a companion.

In your shoes I'd offer to have it with me during the day before resorting to selling my beautiful house.

Not that you should have to; they are vile animal abusers. But needs must.

Daycare doesn’t work if it’s the owner they are fixated on.

Glitchymn1 · 20/02/2025 20:03

Could you offer to look after it? I’m only saying this as you said you like dogs and you seem to be at home a lot. Perhaps with a key, so you can pop the dog back in to their house when needed. Don’t jump on me, it’s only a suggestion.

They should have something in place so the poor dog isn’t alone so much, doggy day care or a walker.

If it is particularly loud the council can give you a noise monitor and if it’s excessive then they’ll have to address it.

Neodymium · 20/02/2025 20:04

There is medication that the vet can prescribe. Being sympathetic is really a cop out. If they actually cared they wouldn’t be going out for tea all the time leaving it. They would be finding a solution.

CuteEasterBunny · 20/02/2025 20:05

I wouldn’t move. You could walk into a worse situation.

Maybe you need to get out of those house a bit more too if it’s driving you this mad.

Dillydollydingdong · 20/02/2025 20:06

Put in a complaint to the council and get Environmental Health involved. This would be classed as a legal nuisance. You'll have to keep a log of when and how long it howls. Poor dog and poor you.

KarmenPQZ · 20/02/2025 20:06

Our neighbours 2 up soundproofed their Victoria terrace with 4 fireplaces against noises from our shared neighbours and for them it’s been life changing. Surely it’s cheaper than moving especially if you’re houses is already a work in progress.

Mingenious · 20/02/2025 20:07

Yes, complaint to the council every single times it happens.

If they can’t resolve the issue that’s ruining their neighbours lives then they need to rehome the dog.

xyz111 · 20/02/2025 20:07

Don't sell!!! File a noise complaint with the council.

Dillydollydingdong · 20/02/2025 20:08

The other thing is of course that you'll have to declare to any purchasers that there's a dog causing a nuisance. You can't keep it secret or you could be held liable because you didn't disclose it.

Original poster
Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 20:08

Glitchymn1 · 20/02/2025 20:03

Could you offer to look after it? I’m only saying this as you said you like dogs and you seem to be at home a lot. Perhaps with a key, so you can pop the dog back in to their house when needed. Don’t jump on me, it’s only a suggestion.

They should have something in place so the poor dog isn’t alone so much, doggy day care or a walker.

If it is particularly loud the council can give you a noise monitor and if it’s excessive then they’ll have to address it.

They have 3. I have 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 Dc under 5 so it’s just too much. Plus my dog would probably eat it!

Daycare wouldn’t really help as it’s often tea times, times they are taking their DC to clubs and things I think. It’s also weekends when daycares wouldn’t be open.

OP posts:
Original poster
Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 20:10

CuteEasterBunny · 20/02/2025 20:05

I wouldn’t move. You could walk into a worse situation.

Maybe you need to get out of those house a bit more too if it’s driving you this mad.

I work 3 nights a week with small DC so am particularly irritable to noise!

It’s like even if the telly is on I can’t concentrate on it because the noise is there no matter how much I drown it out!

OP posts:
Original poster
Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 20:11

KarmenPQZ · 20/02/2025 20:06

Our neighbours 2 up soundproofed their Victoria terrace with 4 fireplaces against noises from our shared neighbours and for them it’s been life changing. Surely it’s cheaper than moving especially if you’re houses is already a work in progress.

I would love to know more. Everything I’ve read said it’s ridiculously expensive and not worth it.

OP posts:
ShelfyElfy25 · 20/02/2025 20:11

I'd start recording the noise and then go round there as soon as they return and play it back to them. You need to make it their problem. "Oh well sorry about that" just isn't good enough. I'd be saying in giving you 4 weeks notice to try and do something about it before I report it to environmental health as it's preventing me from enjoying my home. Unfortunately if you sell and don't declare this issue then your buyers will soon twig on and you'll be liable.

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