To move over a dog?

[Renovationhell]

I literally can’t stand it any more. NDN have a dog with separation anxiety. It howls every second that they leave it. It starts as they drive away and continues till they return. If they go out for tea or whatever I can’t go to bed until they get back, my life is ruled by what time they are in the house.

I live in an old Victorian semi. I love this house and will loose money on it. If I sell tomorrow it’s not finished so I won’t get a good price. I have no money to finish it either so will have to sell as a project. I love the location. But I’m being driven insane and driven from my home by a fucking dog. I’m a dog lover and have dogs myself but this is something else.

Neighbors are sympathetic but can’t do anything to change it. Apparently they have tried many times. They have to leave the house and it does nothing but scream like a posessed wolf until they come back. They know it does it and don’t care.

Soundproofing is too expensive. I have no money and the party wall has 4 shared fireplaces so apparently it will be next to impossible.

So moving is my only option isn’t it? Has anyone else made this decision and regretted it? It’s a young dog so waiting it out isn’t an option I think I’ll have lost my shit by then. 😭

Shock collars are an archaic method of training and no ethical trainer would recommend them. Research shows they cause unnecessary suffering for dogs and massively increase their stress levels.

Lots of organisations including the Kennel Club, RSPCA and BVA have campaigned for a ban on shock collars and the previous government started the process to introduce this legislation but didn’t complete it.

Dogs that exhibit challenging behaviours don’t deserve to be tortured and they should only be euthanised in the most extreme circumstances such as when they repeatedly attack others.

Our neighbours had two young German Shepherds and one would bark when left at home. It was incredibly loud and could go on for hours. It could also get outside when left at home and if it saw us move through the window it’d get worse. I spoke nicely to the neighbours and they kind of tried, but didn’t know what they were doing. German shepherds are apparently very trainable though, so the problem was the owners not the dog. At least 10 people in the neighbourhood complained to the council (not UK) and the owners ended up moving both dogs to the countryside to live. When another German Shepard puppy turned up a while later they promised we wouldn’t have a repeat of the noise and we haven’t. It’s a lovely dog. I did record the barking on my phone so they could understand how bad it was. They’re not meeting the dogs needs and need to re-home it or get professional help to train it.

I live in a detached house and have this problem so if you aren't willing to confront them, your only option to really avoid this problem in the future is to move somewhere remote with absolutely no near neighbours!

Put on your big girl pants and either talk to them or lodge a complaint!

Thanks to everyone who replied. Sorry didn’t expect so many.

I didn’t think I was crazy for not wanting to have the house stamped with I live next door to a bad neighbour but I can see the majority think I’m wrong with that so will look at this today.

The house is a semi. One side has nobody attached but it’s just a hallway if that makes any sense. The living rooms and bedrooms run alongside eachother.

The first chat was very friendly. They were quite dismissive and just said oh yes he’s noisy type thing. I will try and be firmer this time. Some people just aren’t good at going in all guns blazing and that’s me!

I don’t really see it as uprooting my family as such. My kids are so young they don’t care where we live but I see what you mean. In a way I was sort of thinking a detached would be better in the long run so maybe it was worth biting the bullet. The one I’ve seen isn’t in an estate but it would increase my mortgage by 100k, I can afford it but would be starting again with work, decorating and moving costs etc.

To the poster that said there’s more to the story? Eh. Why would I make this up. It’s a German shepherd. My dog is bigger than hers (there are plenty of dogs bigger than GSD) and hates other dogs in her house. She will not allow it in no matter how nice it appears to be.

Do yours just leave them outside? I’m sorry you’re also in this situation. People can be so selfish.

OP - if you hate confrontation, I strongly advise NOT moving house.
The stress of negotiating with buyers, estate agents and vendors will involve much more conflict than speaking to your neighbours!

Op so sorry you're in this situation. I completely emphasise as we had the same with our neighbours. We spoke to them/messaged them a few times and now they genuinely do limit how much they leave their dog. It's awful though, and I was desperate to move for a while too.

Yes they leave him outside. Even when they are there! We spoke to them when I was pregnant and it has gotten much better

You'll need to take firmer action!

We had a similar situation (with a different animal noise!!)

Keep a noise diary
I would also record the noise on your phone

Yes speak to them assertively (you can absolutely do this rather than move house! It doesn't have to be an argument!)
I would very clearly state how you understand the noise isn't the dogs fault but the noise is significantly impacting on your life at the moment and give examples - ask how they are going to resolve this and when - as you need to state it absolutely cannot continue.

I would say that in my experience they won't do much after the initial conversation so you will need to go back to them immediately after the next noise incident and tell them that whilst you fully appreciate it's not the dogs fault you will need to report the noise to your local council due to the significant impact it's having on your lives. It's only when we explained this to our neighbours they took action to resolve it (previously they'd gone through various ineffective half measures!) we still have a decent civil relationship with our neighbours so it doesn't have to get nasty

What in God's name is wrong with people? Why are they so selfish and needy they get a big dog and shut it in all day long....it's beyond me.

Yeah the council are useless. Don't even bother, even when their sound monitoring equipment picks it up they use any excuse not to do anything.

A previous neighbour demented me. Semi detached so it was only my house to suffer, all day and night parties, constant music. Neighbour thought he was ed Sheeran and constantly played guitar and sung at top of his voice (he posts videos online and he's shit but everyone kisses his arse). Drug dealing ,(got him raided for that one but he continued) arguments that ended up in his house being smashed up in the middle of the night. COVID lockdowns were the worst, he continued his parties with 20+ people and made up songs about it then laughed about (heard all of it through the walls) then had the audacity to cry about a friend of his dying from fucking COVID.

Many sleepless nights, no peaceful days - it was torture. When we first moved in, my husband nicely asked him to keep it down and the second time the horrendous neighbour threatened my DH. We called the police during the lockdown parties, he threatened my DH.

We moved and are happy to let someone else deal with that. Do I feel bad? Absolutely fucking not because I hope he gets a right arsehole that puts him in his place. We didn't deserve what we went through and maybe the next neighbour doesn't but I have enough to deal with to care.

All this to say, don't bother with council and if you move, don't feel one bit of guilt to allow someone else to deal with it.

I have a rescue who had separation issues too. I worked very hard on it and he's now comfortable at being left (hops up on to the sofa and has a nap!). But before we'd got to that stage I did the same as you - he came with me, or I got a sitter, or I didn't go out. OP you're neighbours are being very unreasonable to be letting their dog be so distressed and not taking steps to sort it. It's not fair on the dog and it's not fair on you. Mistlethrush good luck with your training. My neighbours thought I was crazy as I'd stand outside in whatever weather to do the training including being rained on and being mauled by midges!

I would move. Yes I know you are entitled to complain to the council, but I wouldn't want to live next door to neighbours that I had raised a complaint about, and I wouldn't want to start anything I would need to declare as part of a sale.

In this like many things, there is what you can do legally, and then the reality of living with the situation.

The onus is on them to sound proof surely as they are the cause?

You might as well be a bother you have nothing to lose at this point. If the dog is so unhappy it shouldn't be with them

I voted that you are being unreasonable because you need to do something about that doesn't include financial suicide.

A noise diary is required. Record every single disturbance for one week. Add audio recording if possible. Then write a letter - polite but firm to your neighbour asking them to take steps to address within a specific timeframe. Simultaneously engage with the relevant council noise department at your council. Provide them with the letter, diary and audio recordings.

You should not have to move and / or spend thousands on modifying your home. This is their problem to fix.

Financial suicide is also scaring off potential buyers by engaging in a dispute you may have to declare at sale. Its a balancing act.

In a nutshell the dog is distressed and has a problem. Neighbours are not dealing with it and they are using 'nice' to get you to put up with it.

Time for big girl pants - keep a log and send it to them on a weekly basis.

That's awful that you had to resort to that, and I hope you're OK. As you say, at least they are taking control of it now! (You did nothing wrong by the way!) I'm gobsmacked at the (few) posters saying they have yappy barky dogs anyway, so they don't care about dog barking noise. Wow. I'm all right Jack, pull up the ladder.

I'm sorry you are going through this OP.

In an ideal world, you and they would discuss solutions and a compromise to make this fair.

I would suggest soundproofing your wall; nothing major but you'd be surprised the difference say, putting bookshelves filled with books and things, soft furnishing and acoustic panels against a wall can muffle sound. If they also did similar, it would help.

Also, as you are in a semi detached, could you ask them to confine their dog to the other side of the house so it's now howling in the room right next to you?

If they confined or crated the dog while they were out, and got it some of those relaxing treats mentioned on this thread, it might be less anxious and make less noise. And even if the dog didn't make less noise, they should be able to at least move it to another part of the house.

Don't listen to those people. At the end of the day you absolutely, 100% do not have a moral obligation to put up with a living situation so somebody else doesn't have to. I guarantee you that the people suggesting that would move in a heartbeat, in similar circumstances.

I did, for the exact same reason.
Don't regret it for a second. Sell up. It's not going to get better.

Not read whole thread but if you report to council or open a dispute with your neighbour you will have to disclose this when you try to sell your house. Which will obviously put off prospective buyers.

@Renovationhell then they take the dog with them when dropping off at clubs and eat in one of the many restaurants that accepts dogs. I would basically tell them that it has to stop and here's some helpful "suggestions" or else you will escalate.

Sorry what? are you suggesting the OP advertises the neighbour's dog for sale?

OP... is all that's happened about this so far is you've said to them, hey your dog howls when you're out!
And they said, oh yeah he's noisy, soz

I feel like you may not have got across to them the scale of the problem, and that you're thinking of moving house because of it.

Is that a fair assessment?