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AIBU?

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Original poster

To move over a dog?

223 replies

Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 19:35

I literally can’t stand it any more. NDN have a dog with separation anxiety. It howls every second that they leave it. It starts as they drive away and continues till they return. If they go out for tea or whatever I can’t go to bed until they get back, my life is ruled by what time they are in the house.

I live in an old Victorian semi. I love this house and will loose money on it. If I sell tomorrow it’s not finished so I won’t get a good price. I have no money to finish it either so will have to sell as a project. I love the location. But I’m being driven insane and driven from my home by a fucking dog. I’m a dog lover and have dogs myself but this is something else.

Neighbors are sympathetic but can’t do anything to change it. Apparently they have tried many times. They have to leave the house and it does nothing but scream like a posessed wolf until they come back. They know it does it and don’t care.

Soundproofing is too expensive. I have no money and the party wall has 4 shared fireplaces so apparently it will be next to impossible.

So moving is my only option isn’t it? Has anyone else made this decision and regretted it? It’s a young dog so waiting it out isn’t an option I think I’ll have lost my shit by then. 😭

OP posts:
SALaw · 21/02/2025 10:54

Mrsdyna · 20/02/2025 20:46

You keep saying that they seem nice but they are incredibly selfish.

To be fair it's unclear how much the OP has even told them as she thinks moving is easier than having an awkward conversation about it. Maybe they don't know?

Original poster
Renovationhell · 21/02/2025 11:04

DecayedStrumpet · 21/02/2025 10:53

OP... is all that's happened about this so far is you've said to them, hey your dog howls when you're out!
And they said, oh yeah he's noisy, soz

I feel like you may not have got across to them the scale of the problem, and that you're thinking of moving house because of it.

Is that a fair assessment?

Basically yes! Summed it up 😬

OP posts:
Mercymercymercy · 21/02/2025 11:46

Renovationhell · 21/02/2025 11:04

Basically yes! Summed it up 😬

Show quote history

They won’t care that you are moving … for them it’s … problem solved!!!

Abitofalark · 21/02/2025 12:01

Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 20:22

I think this is the problem I hate confrontation. It makes me cringe to even think about!

The easier way is to just move, somewhere detached! I’ve seen one within budget but it’s smaller than mine and needs loads of work so I would be starting all over again. But I would never have this issue again would I 😫

I wouldn’t be in negative equity if I sold but I would have just enough to scrape the deposit. I would also loose some of the money I’ve spent on renovations over the past 6 years which is depressing. I’ve still got lots of artex and that type of thing, plus old tired bathrooms which would put a lot of people off and mean I wouldn’t get the best price for it.

It wouldn't necessarily put people off buying that it has old tired bathrooms. Some people would love that as they want to create their own vision of a sparkling new bathroom. Often, spending a lot of money on new kitchen and bathroom is unnecessary or even wasted as many new owners will not find it to their taste and can't wait to rip it out. You would of course not sell for the same price as if you'd done up everything but that's only to be expected.

The best thing is to ensure that the basics of the house are sound and don't worry too much about superficial things like outdated decor, though you could do some cheap refreshing of that too if you want. Ask a couple of local estate agents for a valuation and how they would go about marketing the house as it is and what you are likely to achieve, to get a sense of where you stand.

BakewellTart66 · 21/02/2025 13:59

Poor you, OP, that's tough.
You say the NDNs seem like decent people, and I wonder if they realise how badly their dog's noise is affecting your life?
If they knew the full story as you've outlined it here, they might well accept that the situation is untenable. The idea of driving you out of your much loved house is pretty shocking.
If you feel anxious about having this discussion with them, maybe you could write them a letter sympathising with their problem without minimising the impact on you and your family.

CatherineW61 · 21/02/2025 14:05

I think you should make a recording and play it to the neighbour and ask them to install sound proofing in their house.If they do not do so them make more sound recordings and diary notes and take it to Environmental Health and ask them to intervene .

HarrietsweetHarriet · 21/02/2025 18:14

You have my utmost sympathy, OP.
We live next to two barky dogs and intend to move when circumstances allow. We thought this was our forever home...
We are also in a Victorian terrace. The party wall is paper thin. We hear them coughing , talking, and every time they turn on a light. They've just had a downstairs loo put in and now we hear them peeing when we sit down for dinner.
I literally hear your pain!

thequeenoftarts · 21/02/2025 18:36

Okay so big dog, big noises, and gsd's are notorious for howling, wailing, barking. They are anxious creatures at the best of times. First talk to your neighbours and see if they will come in and listen from your house. Get an idea of what your putting up with. Then ask them to get a vet visit/health check done, see if there are any issues or if he is just neurotic as sheps can be, they are a working breed, the need stimulation to stop their brain behaving in this manner.

There are so many meds that can be given to quieten the dog down, some natural like rescue remedy, calming sprays, prescription meds. There is also a collar that makes a hissing noise when the dog barks or howls, might work, might not but defo worth a try.

Does the dog get walked? Shepherds needs a good long daily walk to walk the legs off it, might make it too tired to howl and I wonder if they could record themselves talking ( it will be a long recording I know) and play it each time they leave the house that might work, or leave the radio on or can the dog be put in the room far away from your living space.Lastly a dog trainer - behaviourist will certainly help with this issue.

lentilbake16 · 21/02/2025 18:40

@thequeenoftarts ,I don't get the impression these people are up for a long walk with a dog.

Buffs · 21/02/2025 18:53

My neighbour had a dog like this and they put it on Prozac but I do live in America

colinthedogfromaccounts · 21/02/2025 18:54

Renovationhell · 21/02/2025 11:04

Basically yes! Summed it up 😬

Show quote history

You have no leg to stand on if you don't woman up and protect your rights.

Being non confrontational is a misnomer. You could sell, lose many thousands (stamp duty, legal fees and moving costs alone will cost a fortune), only to find your new NDN plays the drums.

Seriously, there is no need for a fallout. Standing up for yourself and your family does not mean you become the neighbour from hell - it means being assertively polite and using the channels designed for this very reason.

If they don't know how bad it really is, how on earth can they remedy it? Surely you can see this?

thequeenoftarts · 21/02/2025 18:55

lentilbake16 · 21/02/2025 18:40

@thequeenoftarts ,I don't get the impression these people are up for a long walk with a dog.

Possibly not then it needs a dog walker that gets paid to do it or they rehome it as totally wrong on the neighbours and the poor dog to be left like that too

TwinklySquid · 21/02/2025 19:02

I’m a dog lover and have a dog that used to howl. It look a long time but he doesn’t do it anymore. I would always make sure someone was around while doing the training.

its not enough for them to say they’ve tried. I’d go over and tell them that you are going to call the council if they do not do something. Give them a month. If it means they have to stay in 24/7, then that’s a them problem.

lentilbake16 · 21/02/2025 19:03

thequeenoftarts · 21/02/2025 18:55

Possibly not then it needs a dog walker that gets paid to do it or they rehome it as totally wrong on the neighbours and the poor dog to be left like that too

Show quote history

absolutely

keeperofdarktails · 21/02/2025 19:06

Renovationhell · 20/02/2025 19:35

I literally can’t stand it any more. NDN have a dog with separation anxiety. It howls every second that they leave it. It starts as they drive away and continues till they return. If they go out for tea or whatever I can’t go to bed until they get back, my life is ruled by what time they are in the house.

I live in an old Victorian semi. I love this house and will loose money on it. If I sell tomorrow it’s not finished so I won’t get a good price. I have no money to finish it either so will have to sell as a project. I love the location. But I’m being driven insane and driven from my home by a fucking dog. I’m a dog lover and have dogs myself but this is something else.

Neighbors are sympathetic but can’t do anything to change it. Apparently they have tried many times. They have to leave the house and it does nothing but scream like a posessed wolf until they come back. They know it does it and don’t care.

Soundproofing is too expensive. I have no money and the party wall has 4 shared fireplaces so apparently it will be next to impossible.

So moving is my only option isn’t it? Has anyone else made this decision and regretted it? It’s a young dog so waiting it out isn’t an option I think I’ll have lost my shit by then. 😭

I think it's a bit rash to sell a house you love over a dog but I know how annoying dog barking can be. My neighbours have two and they bark at every.little.sound, even if I close a door quietly I swear they can hear it and it sets them off!

And twilight barking is a real thing I've realised.

Maybe consider getting some earplugs like loop or something in the meantime at least until the problem gets sorted? Sorry it's a bit of a weak suggestion but could help with the noise somewhat.

Fumblebug · 21/02/2025 19:07

Can I suggest contacting Sanctum Noise Consultants’ Noise Direct Service. They are a private firm of legal practitioners specialising in noise nuisance. There is a small fee for a half hour telephone consultation. I used them once for a noise issue and their advice helped me to determine my next steps. Plan out your questions beforehand so you can use your telephone time constructively. And my sympathies OP, I have previously struggled with similar issues and considered moving home.

BMW6 · 21/02/2025 19:14

The thing is OP if you moved you might get a new neighbour just as bad or worse, unless you can afford a detached property well away from others!

You're a grown up and dealing with unpleasant situations is something one has to learn to do, even against your natural inclination. I suggest you record the howling, go round and play it to them and tell them that they deal with it or you will take it further. If it means they can't both go out, that's their problem. If it means the dog is removed, that's their problem.

Be brave and tackle this.

fetchacloth · 21/02/2025 19:16

Pigeonqueen · 20/02/2025 19:47

You should tell the neighbours that you will be reporting them to the council for noise disturbance. And do it. They can’t just be “oh well” about it. It’s not fair. If it continues beyond that I would report them for animal cruelty as they’re clearly not meeting the dogs needs.

I agree - this isn't acceptable and the dog is clearly distressed.

isthesolution · 21/02/2025 19:16

Yes honestly I'd sell. I hate confrontation too.

Reporting it will make it very hard to sell. It will also be really hard to sell if the dog is howling at viewings!

What a nightmare for you.

Sweetneverbitter · 21/02/2025 19:19

If you want to remain on friendly terms I would invite them into your house so they can see (hear) the problem for themselves. They might be unaware just how much it affects you.
If that doesnt work, I suggest you contact Environmental Health. They will put in recording equipment in your home. You keep a log of the noise disturbance and the recordings will back up your claims.
They will then be given notice to stop the noise problem or face fines.

Abitofalark · 21/02/2025 19:27

If your council has a dog warden, you could try having a word about the problem before you start any formal reference to the environmental noise nuisance department. Maybe you could get some useful advice or practical intervention by that route.

JorgyPorgy · 21/02/2025 19:53

What sort of breed is it? I think some breeds are more prone to this behaviour. I don’t think owners are abusers or neglecting as some posters suggest. I think they could try an animal behaviourist. If that doesn’t work ( which hopefully it could) then doggy day care. The dog has separation anxiety , potentially to just one person in particular, so even if you looked after it , it might still howl for its beloved “master”. Other than that soundproofing sounds like cheaper option than moving ( into a potentially similar situation). I wouldn’t complain to council because you have to declare to buyers if you sell.

Zoec1975 · 21/02/2025 19:57

Get Graham in.

Moier · 21/02/2025 20:14

I had this with ex neighbours.
Someone from the council came and heard for themselves.
They had so long to sort it... they had a dog sitter in the end.. then moved away.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/02/2025 21:23

Zoec1975 · 21/02/2025 19:57

Get Graham in.

Great way to blow over £800 and have no ongoing support or an effective solution, aye!

He'd be even less use to the OP as it's not her dog and you can't simply hire a dog trainer (even a decent one) to fix someone elses dog without their permission or as it would seem, any desire to actually fix the problem!