To dump him for wearing glasses?

[ThisFluentBiscuit]

Lighthearted AIBU.

I have a lovely sexy FWB. Problem: He permanently obscures his handsome face by wearing these awful glasses. He won't wear contacts - has tried them and hates them. His glasses are really unsexy, but it's hard to get them smaller because they're the bifocal type with a line across. He looks like a bank manager from the early Nineties. When he takes them off, he looks about 20 years younger and 10 times hotter. Drives me mad.

Also it's frustrating that I've got this handsome man who ruins all the general foxiness when we go out with these glasses. He sometimes sends me photos of himself - he's on holiday right now and just sent me a shot - and my vagina is starting to shrivel a bit at the bank manager look. It was OK for the first couple of years because it was all new, and we don't see each other THAT much anyway (although we're firm friends so we text a lot).

I'm beginning to realise that the glasses are going nowhere.

TLDR: His glasses are giving me the ick. Should I dump him for someone who's not perma-wearing a sexual impediment blazoned across his face?

Here’s some good news for you OP😀

Thank you!! Yes, it's light-hearted, but if those glasses disappeared for good, I WOULD NOT CRY!

Some scran? No, that would be an instant turn-off for me, too. Gives flat-cap and whippet vibes. Nothing wrong with either, but it's not a sexy prospect.

Now all you have to do is send him off for a new pair 🤣

Really? They're discontinued? YAAAAAAAAS! He got his new ones in 2022, so perhaps the baby-blockers are numbered!!

Err - exactly the same? Scornful outrage, surely.

Then life is like a rollercoaster!

It is if you live in West Yorkshire. I live in West Yorkshire 😁

You can't just casually insult someone and say "lol lighthearted"

I am shallow, and I'm definitely lost. I have no idea how to make those glasses go away.

I'm not insulting him. I'm insulting his glasses. I'm sure they're not crying themselves to sleep. And glasses are an easy fix...except he's wedded to the bloody things.

I am going to suggest we go together. I'm going to need some new ones myself, so perhaps I'll invite him to help me pick, and then he might get the idea.

But it would be so much easier and sexier if he could just know not to wear John Major glasses ALL the time - I wouldn't mind some of the time - and wear a proper outfit occasionally.

Does he ever rush off quick grabbing his tie as he goes? Probably doesn't want to blow his cover.

Other ladies are welcome to him, as I've told him many times. We are just FWB, and I don't want to get into anything serious with him because I don't like his religion, and he's steeped in it, as are all of his ENORMOUS extended family. The whole set-up isn't for me, in terms of a committed relationship, although I'm in my non-committal era anyway. He knows that and feels the same about my life. What I like about him the most is his cheery, positive outlook on life and his deep sexual experience. You really would not have put those glasses and that experience together...

The r'ship is going nowhere, because I'm not available for commitment, and he knows that. He's not available for commitment either. We live in the moment. (Both divorced after long marriages.)

Would that he ever wore clothes that needed a tie...no, it's all floppy polyester sports gear, except for work, and then he looks gorgeous and even the glasses aren't so awful.

Fair enough. It seems you have 2 options, tell him to ditch the glasses and you can carry on as you are. Or he keeps the glasses, the ick takes over and you stop sleeping with him..
The difficulty is that trying to influence how someone dresses is the sort of thing you do in a committed relationship. So i suppose you need to ne honest and say, look john, the glasses are a turn off, its them or me!

He looks like a bank manager from the early Nineties. When he takes them off, he looks about 20 years younger and 10 times hotter. Drives me mad.

@ThisFluentBiscuit I do look aged with glasses tbf. I'm 44 so it's probably a little different. DH also wears glasses and they do age him also, but as soon as he takes them off I'm like 'okay'.

He does genuinely wear a flat cap though and we don't have whippets, but I did grow up with greyhounds 🤣.

He made the choice and he likes them so you are insulting him

They're his glasses. His fucking SIGHT

And you're gross

I wear glasses too. I stopped wearing contacts on our dates though. And he knows what I'm like. I have made zero secret of the fact that I'm footloose and fancy-free after divorce and am no good to man or beast for anything committed.

I’m constantly wishing I could adapt to contacts better because I look like a different person, but I suppose I should be happy my DP seems to be the only person that prefers me with glasses on lol

I don't think he's exactly with me for my ability to discuss literature or my incisive political insights either, btw...

Would it kill him to wear contacts and a smart-casual outfit on our dates, though?

You say I'm gross. Well, I don't agree.

If it helps to make you laugh more, I've just started to call those glasses the baby-blockers! 😂

Wait just one minute.

We're supposed to get all dressed up for sex and dates and be all shimmy-shimmy, and you KNOW how long it takes to do hair and makeup and make sure your fave outfit doesn't have egg stains and that your bush isn't tripping you up. But men can show up with bad glasses and polyester sports wear, ALL the time, and we're supposed to go weak for it?

DOUBLE STANDARDS!

You sound so nasty and spiteful just for some glasses I bet you would dump him anyway if he became sick or lost a limb he’s much better off without you I hope he finds someone caring and with a good heart without vanity.