To bother with vasectomy reversal at 39 years old?

[BroodyBrenda]

DH had the snip 13 years ago after our twins

We would love another child but are really struggling to know whether to bother with a reversal or head straight for IVF with sperm retrieval

Cost is obviously a big factor as IVF with speed retrieval is going to cost around £10,000 for one shot whereas the reversal is £4,000

Anyone been in a similar position??

My understanding was that the longer the time between procedure and reversal, the less likely it is to be successful. That may have changed now though. What does the urologist suggest? If you haven't seen one yet, it is probably worth the consultation fee just to work out your options with all the information.

It's been ages. It's unlikely to work after all this time OP.

My now exDH had a reversal, which cost us a fortune and it didn't work.

We went for ICSI with retrieval and DD is now 17.

I wouldn't waste money on a reversal and I'd go straight to IVF.

I'd come to terms with stopping at 2 and save all the pain, cost and aggro of either procedure.

I agree with this.

A 14/15 year age gap is less than ideal apart from anything else, especially when the first two are twins.

Moral of the story: don’t have a vasectomy unless you’re absolutely sure you don’t want any more children. It’s not meant to be regarded as reversible. And if a couple isn’t sure it makes more sense for the woman to be sterilised. She can have IVF if the couple changes their mind and there is no reversal-or-IVF dilemma.

So helpful - thanks!

Do you mind telling me how old you were when you fell pregnant?

Why did he have a vasectomy if you now want more kids?

I'd be really careful with this OP, you came to that decision for a good reason. You are likely just hormonal at the moment. This was one of the reasons we went for the snip to avoid this last chance saloon dance so many seem to go through late 30s early 40s.

You have two children already. Just enjoy them.

🙄 Helpful.

OP, my DH had his VR five years after the original op. It then took another three and a half years for me to conceive, at age 38. I agree with others that thirteen years is a long time. It's not unheard of for couples to conceive this long after reversal, but it is less likely the more time has elapsed.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do. ☘️

My concern would be that either the reversal doesn't work and if you still want a baby you have to do IVF anyway. Or, it does work but you're not a fertile as you used to be, and you have to do IVF anyway. Or, it works, you get pregnant, and then you have to sort out birth control again.

So I guess if I were making this decision I would probably start with the retrieval in the IVF.

Are you sure this isn’t your hormones talking? IVF and reversal will not only be costly but emotionally draining. You are going to have a huge age gap - children trying to do exams with a new born baby crying, trying to find a family activity for all etc. Supposing it does work but you have twins or a child with health problems? I think you should just stick with what you have.

I’m very sure
I’ve felt like this for 2 years hoping it would pass - it hasn’t
Both kids fully on board and hopeful it happens so there’s definitely no resentment or anything there

I think we will have to bite the bullet and try a round of IVF with retrieval as otherwise we are just throwing money away at a reversal

I'd come to terms with stopping at 2 and save all the pain, cost and aggro of either procedure.

This 100%. You're about to get all your freedoms back and can enjoy life whilst supporting your teens into adulthood! You'll also save more for your and your teens' future.

My DH had a reversal after around 10 years. He was told, afterwards, that his sperm were not good quality, so we started to go down the ICSI route. I fell pregnant naturally just before I started the injections. Our DD is now 21, so, yes a reversal can work after 10+ years.

Beware you're prime age for pre / perimenopause, where your hormones go baby mad in a bid to procreate. Is the yearning worse certain times of the month?

Like most men do, to be able to have sex with other women without financial consequences.

Both kids fully on board and hopeful it happens so there’s definitely no resentment or anything there

That's a lot of pressure to put on kids, when it inevitably hugely alters their life but they now have to take some of that responsibility because they were 'on board'. Honestly the whole thing sounds very selfish, I would really just focus on the 2 you have, it's just your age and hormones. I am the same age with kids presumably a similar age and I would never do this to them, have you considered at all the impact to them?

'Both kids fully on board'. Sorry, what? On board in what sense? Why does this matter and why are you asking them?

Sounds like absolute madness to go through IVF with two teenagers. Hard enough when you don't have any kids.

Their crystal ball was in the shop.

Is 39 his age or yours?

You might find you need IVF anyway even if the reversal is successful.

Do you mean other women rather than the OP?

@BroodyBrenda our NDN had a reversal when his marriage broke down and he met someone else without children. It was successful, it had been done around 8 years.

Your teens have important exams coming up. I'd give them all my time and support!