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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the GP should have believed this?

128 replies

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:02

Son (18) had two nosebleeds yesterday. I took his blood pressure 3 times and the average over 3 readings was 152/86 which is obviously high, particularly at that age.

He had been sat still for about an hour before I took the readings and I asked him to sit still, breathe properly, not talk etc.

He had childhood asthma and as part of his annual check ups for asthma the nurse saw his blood pressure was elevated (approx 2 years ago) and sent us home with a blood pressure machine to take 3 readings and average them out and to do it twice per day which we did. This is why I was familiar with the whole taking it three times, making sure you’re not talking etc. His blood pressure was still elevated but if I remember correctly they weren’t concerned as it was slightly lower than what she has gotten in the surgery (I think it was in the pre blood pressure category, think yellow or orange) I trusted them that it was okay as they didn’t feel any further investigation was necessary but in hindsight I should have had this checked more frequently.

The GP today took his BP twice and both times it was 153/87. We had been sat relaxed in the waiting room for 30 minutes, no caffeine etc. I explained that if he looked at my son’s notes he would see that it was elevated last time he had it checked and that I was worried that it may have been high all this time and about the long term affects of that.

The GP advised me / my son to do the same thing we did previously and keep a record over a week which, for the record I agree with and can understand the need for.

But I’m so upset at what the GP kept saying “It’s very unusual for a person this age to have high BP, it could be that you have things on your mind.” “You need to be completely relaxed and take the lowest reading.” And more words to that effecf. It’s like he didn’t believe it could be the case that my son has high blood pressure if that makes sense? It’s not like we showed up today and it was low, it was high both times the GP took it, it was high when the nurse took it, it was high when I took it three times yesterday and it was high when I took it 6 times a day for 7 days 2 years ago. What would it take for him to believe he has high BP? I explained that my Dad died of a heart attack and he asked me how old he was, when I said 70 I felt a bit silly but now I’m cross for not saying ‘but he had hypertension for at least 20 years before that and actually although 70 isn’t considered young it is younger than the average age for a man to die.) I also explained his Grandfather on his Dad’s side had a heart attack (I don’t know how he is now as they’re no contact).

I don’t think it helps that my son looks like the picture of health, he weight lifts and has done since he was 13 so is very muscular.

Surely the GP should have offered some lifestyle advice at least? Or say something along the lines of “If it’s still high then we will look at doing…..” He didn’t ask whether son drinks alcohol / smokes / takes drugs / eats a good diet / caffeine / salt etc. I had just spent an hour talking to my son about how he should probably eat more fruit and veg and up his water intake etc so it would have been nice if the GP seemed to believe his BP was actually high.

I will take the readings and take them back to the GP but WIBU to insist son is checked out more thoroughly if they’re still high? (I kind of already know they will be). AIBU to feel a little like the GP is unreasonable when he couldn’t believe an 18 year old could have high BP?

Just so there’s no drip feeds son doesn’t drink (maybe once every 6 months) smoke or do drugs. He doesn’t have any caffeine at all, no pre workouts, hot drinks or energy drinks etc. However, he does eat more than the recommended amount of red meat so that’s something to look at for us (bodybuilding thing I think). He wanted me to come into the appointment with him by the way because he knew he would need me to remember some of the details.

That's long - sorry.

OP posts:
LavenderFields7 · 18/02/2025 20:22

Hate to ask, but any chance he’s taking steroids?

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:26

LavenderFields7 · 18/02/2025 20:22

Hate to ask, but any chance he’s taking steroids?

I did wonder and have asked, he says no and he wouldn’t like the needles and doesn’t have a gym buddy that would inject him. I’m not naive though and obviously it’s a possibility.

OP posts:
Aaron95 · 18/02/2025 20:30

You are being unreasonable.

White coat syndrome is a real thing and surprisingly common. It's standard practice for the GP to want to confirm the reading is real and not due to WCS.

mynameiscalypso · 18/02/2025 20:30

I've had high blood pressure since I was a young teen; it's partly that my 'normal' is at the higher end of the range but mainly because I get very anxious about having it taken (even when I do it at home).

nocoolnamesleft · 18/02/2025 20:31

Steroid use is certainly a known cause of hypertension, and I'm afraid was my thought too. Creatine use can also cause hypertension.

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:33

nocoolnamesleft · 18/02/2025 20:31

Steroid use is certainly a known cause of hypertension, and I'm afraid was my thought too. Creatine use can also cause hypertension.

He used to take creatine, he doesn’t anymore but I know I saw it with his protein shakes and stuff a while ago. I’ll look into that thanks.

OP posts:
Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:33

mynameiscalypso · 18/02/2025 20:30

I've had high blood pressure since I was a young teen; it's partly that my 'normal' is at the higher end of the range but mainly because I get very anxious about having it taken (even when I do it at home).

Thanks for that, it’s somewhat reassuring.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 18/02/2025 20:35

@Weddingbells6 If it helps, it's reduced as I've got older too. I was warned I was likely to suffer preeclampsia in pregnancy, for example, but actually my blood pressure was lower than normal. I do appreciate that your son doesn't have the consideration! But just to reassure you that it's not necessarily anything significant (but obviously always worth getting checked out).

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:36

Aaron95 · 18/02/2025 20:30

You are being unreasonable.

White coat syndrome is a real thing and surprisingly common. It's standard practice for the GP to want to confirm the reading is real and not due to WCS.

I’m not sure you saw the bit where I said I agree we should be checking it over a long period. But at what point does a GP think ‘Yeah this person has high BP, maybe we should explore it a bit further, give some lifestyle advice, order an ECG..’ After how many attempts? Because my son hasn’t had a normal BP reading in the last 50+ readings. At home, in the surgery, as soon as he wakes up and before bed.

OP posts:
Randomease · 18/02/2025 20:36

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:26

I did wonder and have asked, he says no and he wouldn’t like the needles and doesn’t have a gym buddy that would inject him. I’m not naive though and obviously it’s a possibility.

That’s a very specific rebuttal from him. How does he even know you need a ‘gym buddy’ or whatever. Sounds rehearsed.

And you sound very anxious. And he’s an adult. A BP of that level - or even a far higher level - wouldn’t cause a nosebleed……

ThinWomansBrain · 18/02/2025 20:44

I don't understand why you are so offended at the GP doing their own BP readings, as for taking two readings, mine can vary hugely over the course of 5 minutes - "white coat syndrome" even though I don't feel remotely stressed of nervous.
And GP said to monitor for a week - maybe he wants to understand the cause and that it is a long term issue before he starts doling out "lifestyle advice"

Maybe he should just have run a blood test to check for steroids.

user1471538275 · 18/02/2025 20:47

He's 18. It's time for him to manage his own health and for you to take a step back.

I think that might help everyone.

GravyBoatWars · 18/02/2025 20:50

OP, I understand your anxiety. But it sounds like you’ve jumped to a conclusion about the GP “not believing“ your DS’s blood pressure is high because his level of alarm didn’t match yours. The GP didn’t start handing out random lifestyle advice as you suggest becsuse he doesn’t know what’s causing the high pressures, and that level of high blood pressure alone isn’t specific to anything or in need of immediate treatment. It also sounds like he might have been reacting to some elevated anxiety from you - an otherwise healthy 18 year-old who’s mother brings him to the doctor for two nosebleeds with a list of blood pressure readings talking about the grandfather having a heart attack at 70 does raise some health anxiety red flags - by being very non-alarmist.

He didn’t dismiss the readings, he wants more information. Did he ask to speak with your DS alone? I would expect that to be an important fact-finding step.

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:50

Randomease · 18/02/2025 20:36

That’s a very specific rebuttal from him. How does he even know you need a ‘gym buddy’ or whatever. Sounds rehearsed.

And you sound very anxious. And he’s an adult. A BP of that level - or even a far higher level - wouldn’t cause a nosebleed……

Oh, he just said ‘no’ it’s me that knows he would need someone to inject it because I’m familiar with how it works which is part of the reason I believe him because I know some of the side effects and he doesn’t have those but I do know I could be wrong.

That’s interesting about the nosebleeds, you don’t think they’re connected? His face was really red as well but the post was already really long so I didn’t think it was that relevant why I thought to take it. Do you have a medical qualification? Do you think those readings are nothing to worry about? I know he’s an adult but I’m not keen on him being ill. Sorry if that seems anxious or overbearing, I don’t think I am, maybe there’s a bit of guilt for not thinking to have it checked again before now.

OP posts:
Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:55

ThinWomansBrain · 18/02/2025 20:44

I don't understand why you are so offended at the GP doing their own BP readings, as for taking two readings, mine can vary hugely over the course of 5 minutes - "white coat syndrome" even though I don't feel remotely stressed of nervous.
And GP said to monitor for a week - maybe he wants to understand the cause and that it is a long term issue before he starts doling out "lifestyle advice"

Maybe he should just have run a blood test to check for steroids.

I’m not offended at all at the two readings or that he wants me to monitor it for a week, more that he acted like it would be impossible for someone his age to have high BP. The high readings he had previously were done by me at home after waking and at night and by the asthma nurse that I wouldn’t have thought would have caused the white coat affect - only just realised what this is by the way. Those appts were very informal and relaxed and the same every time, never any pain or needles involved etc,

OP posts:
OnyourbarksGSG · 18/02/2025 20:56

Steroids can 100% cause high blood pressure, flushed face and nose bleeds.

scanni · 18/02/2025 20:57

As someone who reported and was observed for several years high blood pressure I understand how dismissive they can be. I was told it was white coat syndrome for so long, toils my home machine must be faulty etc. I do now have a blood pressure tablet, but I should have been prescribed it at least 6 years ago!

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:57

mynameiscalypso · 18/02/2025 20:30

I've had high blood pressure since I was a young teen; it's partly that my 'normal' is at the higher end of the range but mainly because I get very anxious about having it taken (even when I do it at home).

Actually, in hindsight, how do you know what your actual BP is then? Not trying to be nosey but if you never have a normal reading even at home then how do you know you don’t have constant hypertension causing irreparable damage to your heart and body?

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 18/02/2025 21:00

@Weddingbells6 I've had lots of tests over the years (I'm now in my early 40s) and they've never revealed anything sinister at all. It does seem to be primarily anxiety mixed with genetics. I remember the consultant saying to me that if you have a normal/average range, there are always going to be people who sit at the top of that range.

chattychatter · 18/02/2025 21:01

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:33

He used to take creatine, he doesn’t anymore but I know I saw it with his protein shakes and stuff a while ago. I’ll look into that thanks.

I’d look in to anything he is supplementing his diet with, and maybe his diet overall if he is eating lots of red meat. Is there another GP at the surgery that you can see rather than that one? Is he still at school or at uni? Most unis have GPs and nurses available.

You can push for a hospital referral if you are unhappy with it, but you do seem very anxious more than anything else - and I’d think the reason the GP isn’t probing more in to his smoking, drinking habits, etc, is because you (his Mum) are sat there with him at the appointment. It wouldn’t really be appropriate or fair to ask him, you should maybe encourage him to go alone.

I agree with others re steroids and that that might be a real possibility. You can educate him on the dangers of these but lots of people (men especially) seem to fall foul to body/eating disorders with steroid use to achieve what they are after with their appearance.

Booboobagins · 18/02/2025 21:02

My DS is buff too. He's also in a physical job so that adds to his muscle mass/strength.

Heuses beans (red kidney beans, black beans, butter beans, chick peas) and eggs to bulk his protein levels. Eating them allows him to drop the amount of meat he eats. He's also dropped doing creatine. He says you don't need it.

Maybe helping your DS review what supplements etc he's taking you can help him.

I hope his change in diet will help reduce his blood pressure.

Ref the GP do the run of tests, go back and see what happens.

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:02

user1471538275 · 18/02/2025 20:47

He's 18. It's time for him to manage his own health and for you to take a step back.

I think that might help everyone.

Oh god really? He would just ignore it to be honest unless he collapsed. Do people stop scheduling / attending appointments with them when they reach 18? He hasn’t passed his driving test yet so I definitely needed to take him as it’s not on a bus route. I don’t always go in (he rarely goes to the GP) but I remembered some stuff he didn’t about this one.

OP posts:
Motnight · 18/02/2025 21:03

Op I would see if your son would attend a GP appointment in his own. It might be more useful

Fedupdoc · 18/02/2025 21:03

If he has high blood pressure it needs to be investigated. At minimum he needs bloods and a renal ultrasound. This is very likely to be due to supplements of some kind. If he is absolutely taking no supplements then he needs investigated

Oldermum84 · 18/02/2025 21:08

But the GP didn't say they didn't believe you... It sounds like you've tried to guess what the GP is thinking and decided on that.

They've just asked you to do BP readings over a week and go back with them haven't they? I don't see the issue. Just do what they say and go back with the readings and discuss it from there.

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