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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the GP should have believed this?

128 replies

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 20:02

Son (18) had two nosebleeds yesterday. I took his blood pressure 3 times and the average over 3 readings was 152/86 which is obviously high, particularly at that age.

He had been sat still for about an hour before I took the readings and I asked him to sit still, breathe properly, not talk etc.

He had childhood asthma and as part of his annual check ups for asthma the nurse saw his blood pressure was elevated (approx 2 years ago) and sent us home with a blood pressure machine to take 3 readings and average them out and to do it twice per day which we did. This is why I was familiar with the whole taking it three times, making sure you’re not talking etc. His blood pressure was still elevated but if I remember correctly they weren’t concerned as it was slightly lower than what she has gotten in the surgery (I think it was in the pre blood pressure category, think yellow or orange) I trusted them that it was okay as they didn’t feel any further investigation was necessary but in hindsight I should have had this checked more frequently.

The GP today took his BP twice and both times it was 153/87. We had been sat relaxed in the waiting room for 30 minutes, no caffeine etc. I explained that if he looked at my son’s notes he would see that it was elevated last time he had it checked and that I was worried that it may have been high all this time and about the long term affects of that.

The GP advised me / my son to do the same thing we did previously and keep a record over a week which, for the record I agree with and can understand the need for.

But I’m so upset at what the GP kept saying “It’s very unusual for a person this age to have high BP, it could be that you have things on your mind.” “You need to be completely relaxed and take the lowest reading.” And more words to that effecf. It’s like he didn’t believe it could be the case that my son has high blood pressure if that makes sense? It’s not like we showed up today and it was low, it was high both times the GP took it, it was high when the nurse took it, it was high when I took it three times yesterday and it was high when I took it 6 times a day for 7 days 2 years ago. What would it take for him to believe he has high BP? I explained that my Dad died of a heart attack and he asked me how old he was, when I said 70 I felt a bit silly but now I’m cross for not saying ‘but he had hypertension for at least 20 years before that and actually although 70 isn’t considered young it is younger than the average age for a man to die.) I also explained his Grandfather on his Dad’s side had a heart attack (I don’t know how he is now as they’re no contact).

I don’t think it helps that my son looks like the picture of health, he weight lifts and has done since he was 13 so is very muscular.

Surely the GP should have offered some lifestyle advice at least? Or say something along the lines of “If it’s still high then we will look at doing…..” He didn’t ask whether son drinks alcohol / smokes / takes drugs / eats a good diet / caffeine / salt etc. I had just spent an hour talking to my son about how he should probably eat more fruit and veg and up his water intake etc so it would have been nice if the GP seemed to believe his BP was actually high.

I will take the readings and take them back to the GP but WIBU to insist son is checked out more thoroughly if they’re still high? (I kind of already know they will be). AIBU to feel a little like the GP is unreasonable when he couldn’t believe an 18 year old could have high BP?

Just so there’s no drip feeds son doesn’t drink (maybe once every 6 months) smoke or do drugs. He doesn’t have any caffeine at all, no pre workouts, hot drinks or energy drinks etc. However, he does eat more than the recommended amount of red meat so that’s something to look at for us (bodybuilding thing I think). He wanted me to come into the appointment with him by the way because he knew he would need me to remember some of the details.

That's long - sorry.

OP posts:
AppleCucumber · 18/02/2025 21:28

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:19

I don’t understand? Shouldn’t you weight lift if you have high BP? The GP saw his BP with his own eyes twice by the way just in case that wasn’t clear. I did ask if my son should carry on as normal and the GP said yes. I’m not sure my son would cope if he couldn’t go to the gym, it’s been 3-4 times a week for years, that would be a hard habit to break.

Also @Weddingbells6 , you're right to be concerned with a high BP. I lost my sibling at 40 from a stroke caused by high blood pressure. He was fine and healthy until he wasn't one day and things went downhill from there. My parents certainly didn't step away because he was an adult. They and we cared for him until he passed, that's what families do.

Edited to add, the doctors can confirm what's a dangerously high level but just saying high blood pressure is certainly something to keep an eye on

Lovethesparklylights · 18/02/2025 21:29

153/87 isn't very high, mine is roughly 165/93 and I'm not medicated for it currently. It was 200/110 or so and I had medication then and they were worried about that. They worry more about the bottom number than the top.
It can go up from stress, dehydration, salt, diet, being too heavy, sickness and other reasons. Get him to Google ways to lower it and take responsibility for it himself.

PeriPeriMam · 18/02/2025 21:29

GravyBoatWars · 18/02/2025 20:50

OP, I understand your anxiety. But it sounds like you’ve jumped to a conclusion about the GP “not believing“ your DS’s blood pressure is high because his level of alarm didn’t match yours. The GP didn’t start handing out random lifestyle advice as you suggest becsuse he doesn’t know what’s causing the high pressures, and that level of high blood pressure alone isn’t specific to anything or in need of immediate treatment. It also sounds like he might have been reacting to some elevated anxiety from you - an otherwise healthy 18 year-old who’s mother brings him to the doctor for two nosebleeds with a list of blood pressure readings talking about the grandfather having a heart attack at 70 does raise some health anxiety red flags - by being very non-alarmist.

He didn’t dismiss the readings, he wants more information. Did he ask to speak with your DS alone? I would expect that to be an important fact-finding step.

This.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 18/02/2025 21:34

Lovethesparklylights · 18/02/2025 21:29

153/87 isn't very high, mine is roughly 165/93 and I'm not medicated for it currently. It was 200/110 or so and I had medication then and they were worried about that. They worry more about the bottom number than the top.
It can go up from stress, dehydration, salt, diet, being too heavy, sickness and other reasons. Get him to Google ways to lower it and take responsibility for it himself.

Sorry but 153/87 is high. Your blood pressure is considered stage one high if it’s 130 to 139 over 80 to 89.

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:35

scanni · 18/02/2025 20:57

As someone who reported and was observed for several years high blood pressure I understand how dismissive they can be. I was told it was white coat syndrome for so long, toils my home machine must be faulty etc. I do now have a blood pressure tablet, but I should have been prescribed it at least 6 years ago!

Thanks for this. I do think some people just like to tell you you’re wrong on here without reading the post properly and that’s fine. I think my son’s blood pressure is higher than it should be, no one saw how relaxed he was when I sat and took three readings last night. No one on here saw how relaxed - happy / unfazed he was when we got two high readings in front of the GP. I’m still glad I posted because I’ve leaned some stuff about supplements / steroids that I didn’t know. I’m not sure what the point in having a blood pressure guide on the NHS website is when some amateur doctors on here tell me his readings aren’t high enough to warrant any worry or that nosebleed aren’t a sigh of high blood pressure when everything online says they are. Do you mind me asking how high your readings were? Did you get nosebleeds? I only have the GP and the online guides to look at and from what I’m looking at it’s high enough to be a problem. Some people seem to think I should leave him to it now he’s 18, I can’t imagine how bad I would feel if he developed a heart condition if I hadn’t encouraged him to get it checked.

OP posts:
Elsvieta · 18/02/2025 21:35

What makes ds (or you) think he would need someone else to inject him?

Fraaances · 18/02/2025 21:37

It’s not just the drug scene involved that causes the high incidence of cardiac death in weight lifters. Just so you know, weight lifting itself can also cause high BP. Extreme muscularity puts pressure on the cardiovascular and integumentary system.

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:37

Elsvieta · 18/02/2025 21:35

What makes ds (or you) think he would need someone else to inject him?

He’s needle phobic, I’m almost positive he couldn’t face injecting himself. I have learnt today that you can get tablets though so that’s something to consider.

OP posts:
jasmine465 · 18/02/2025 21:40

The GP is following NICE guidelines, OP.

The guidelines state to take two BP readings 'at the clinic', so during the GP consult. and record the lower of the two. If it is over 140/90mmHg but below 180/120mmHg, then it is appropriate to request twice daily home BP readings (for at least 4 days but ideally 7 days) and only then, if the average daily reading is over 140/90mmHg, can a diagnosis be made.

It doesn't sound like the GP didn't believe you, as they have followed the guidelines for your son exactly as they would anyone who came in with that reading.

It sounds like the GP was trying to reassure you that it is far more likely an extrinsic factor causing the high reading rather than it being a medical issue, given your son's otherwise robust health, but either way they have acted proportionately and in line with national guidelines.

Poshjock · 18/02/2025 21:42

YANBU. I think your GP has given very poor service here. There is very clear guidance on NICE and the GP just hasn’t followed it diligently. I hate the term ‘white coat syndrome’ it has clinical diagnosis parameters and should be diagnosed after ambulatory home BP monitoring as directed in NICE. I am very disappointed that after the last average readings you were told it was above average with no follow up or specialist input which would be suggested in such a young age.

NICE is clear that he should have been given a health/lifestyle assessment for CV risk and examined for target organ damage - during AHBP monitoring, and as he’s very much under 40 considered for specialist assessment. It doesn’t sound like this happened.

please take the NICE guideline with you and go through it with the GP.

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng136

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:45

BigDecisionWorthIt · 18/02/2025 21:09

I don’t think it helps that my son looks like the picture of health, he weight lifts and has done since he was 13 so is very muscular.

This bit stuck out at me. When you say muscular, how muscular?

Creatine use and protein shakes aren't going to have that much of an impact negatively.

As others have mentioned, I'd be concerned about steroid use and doing so without professional monitoring. That or even stuff thats known as SARMs.
You don't need a gym buddy to inject you.
That can definitely cause hypertension, nose bleeds and other side effects if not taken with due care and starting on a high dose from the off.

There's a dark side to Instagram with fitness influencers and most of them claiming to be natural when in fact they are cycling.
That's why there is a rapid increase in body dysmorphia and steroid use amongst teenage boys.

Thanks for this. He is very muscular, so to try and explain without attaching a photo I think probably at a level that most people would comment on his thighs and biceps and shoulders (I don’t know the right names 😂) if they saw him. I never thought it looked unnatural but you can 100% see that he weight lifts regularly for a prolonged period. The GP had to go and get a different cuff for his arms today. He had some body image issues around age 13 - 15 but I was always under the impression that the weight lifting was a positive thing, now I’m not so sure. He’s needle phobic so doubt he could inject himself and he goes to the gym alone 95% of the time (sometimes his mates tag on but I think they’re not as serious as him so it’s irregular) I’m definitely going to look at his powders and stuff later.

OP posts:
Oblomov25 · 18/02/2025 21:45

Well, op will have to record all her previous ones on an excel spreadsheet.
Then record the ones for the next week.
And go back armed with the evidence. I can see no other way. Then ask for blood tests/referral/whatever else you want.

Hwi · 18/02/2025 21:48

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:19

I don’t understand? Shouldn’t you weight lift if you have high BP? The GP saw his BP with his own eyes twice by the way just in case that wasn’t clear. I did ask if my son should carry on as normal and the GP said yes. I’m not sure my son would cope if he couldn’t go to the gym, it’s been 3-4 times a week for years, that would be a hard habit to break.

Harvard Health article - However, people who have high blood pressure, especially if it's not optimally controlled, should be cautious about any movements that involve lifting very heavy weights—not just loaded barbells at the gym, but also heavy furniture or boxes of books

godmum56 · 18/02/2025 21:48

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:45

Thanks for this. He is very muscular, so to try and explain without attaching a photo I think probably at a level that most people would comment on his thighs and biceps and shoulders (I don’t know the right names 😂) if they saw him. I never thought it looked unnatural but you can 100% see that he weight lifts regularly for a prolonged period. The GP had to go and get a different cuff for his arms today. He had some body image issues around age 13 - 15 but I was always under the impression that the weight lifting was a positive thing, now I’m not so sure. He’s needle phobic so doubt he could inject himself and he goes to the gym alone 95% of the time (sometimes his mates tag on but I think they’re not as serious as him so it’s irregular) I’m definitely going to look at his powders and stuff later.

Edited

just to point out that the fact that he goes to the gym alone doesn't mean that therefore there is no one to inject him......

sherbertcandy · 18/02/2025 21:49

Have you thought maybe you are worrying him about it and that's why it's high? Ask him to ask gp for a 24hr blood pressure monitor to check

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:50

Booboobagins · 18/02/2025 21:02

My DS is buff too. He's also in a physical job so that adds to his muscle mass/strength.

Heuses beans (red kidney beans, black beans, butter beans, chick peas) and eggs to bulk his protein levels. Eating them allows him to drop the amount of meat he eats. He's also dropped doing creatine. He says you don't need it.

Maybe helping your DS review what supplements etc he's taking you can help him.

I hope his change in diet will help reduce his blood pressure.

Ref the GP do the run of tests, go back and see what happens.

Thanks for this it’s really helpful.

OP posts:
Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:51

Fedupdoc · 18/02/2025 21:03

If he has high blood pressure it needs to be investigated. At minimum he needs bloods and a renal ultrasound. This is very likely to be due to supplements of some kind. If he is absolutely taking no supplements then he needs investigated

Thanks, I’m checking his supplement now. He only has protein powder but I know that there may be things taken out of the house etc.

OP posts:
Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:52

Minnie798 · 18/02/2025 21:09

It is unusual for an 18 year old to have hypertension , so the suggestion of monitoring bp over a period of time is sensible enough. If it persists, investigations for secondary causes of hypertension likely needed, given his age . Agree with others about possibility of steroids. It’s very common for young men who are heavily into the gym and usually, they don’t admit it until they have too.

Thanks. I agree this does look like it could be an issue. I don’t suppose there’s a lot I can do if he wants to take them other than warn him.

OP posts:
Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:55

Nicknacky · 18/02/2025 21:10

So get him to write things down. I don’t attend appointments for my 17 year old. They need to learn to communicate about their own health.

what age do you think they should be doing it themselves if not 18?

Honestly I just don’t know, I would also worry they weren’t going to tell me or remember what the GP said. I’m laughing because my 18 year old would have no teeth, no glasses and no health care if I didn’t take him. Time for a chat I think 😂

OP posts:
Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:57

Mardyybum · 18/02/2025 21:20

YANBU. I’m older than your son (33) and my GP was really concerned about my BP (average around 135/90) as I’m considered young to have an elevated BP.
I’ve been put on medication and was referred for kidney scans (which found benign tumours - likely the cause of my BP) and I have a cardiology appointment coming up too.
I’d push for further investigations.

Thank you and sorry to hear that.

OP posts:
Ellie1015 · 18/02/2025 21:57

I expect GP was trying to reassure you both it is unlikely to be anything serious due to age rather than not believe it is a possibility the readings are genuine.

And absolutely support your 18 year old with any appointments for as long as he finds it helpful.

BigDecisionWorthIt · 18/02/2025 22:00

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 21:45

Thanks for this. He is very muscular, so to try and explain without attaching a photo I think probably at a level that most people would comment on his thighs and biceps and shoulders (I don’t know the right names 😂) if they saw him. I never thought it looked unnatural but you can 100% see that he weight lifts regularly for a prolonged period. The GP had to go and get a different cuff for his arms today. He had some body image issues around age 13 - 15 but I was always under the impression that the weight lifting was a positive thing, now I’m not so sure. He’s needle phobic so doubt he could inject himself and he goes to the gym alone 95% of the time (sometimes his mates tag on but I think they’re not as serious as him so it’s irregular) I’m definitely going to look at his powders and stuff later.

Edited

No problem. Thanks for trying to describe.
It does sound like potentially it could be some sort of peds. Shoulders (delts and traps) are two big areas that grow quicker when using some sort of gear due to the androgen receptors.

I wouldn't say it's a negative thing. Working out and the gym can be positive (I'm missing it being out with the flu).
I think the big issue is the impact of social media and the loss of reality on what is attainable naturally.

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 22:00

Msmoonpie · 18/02/2025 21:22

Gosh I won’t think my mum attended an appointment with me from 16 onwards.

I was boarding by then so she had no involvement whatsoever.

As for believing you …well you’re a women so a GP is already less likely to take you seriously and being as you were helicoper parenting your adult son honestly yes the GP probably think you’re over the top.

Edited

My Mum didn’t either. I left home at 16 but then I was also not capable for advocating for myself at that age and felt embarrassed so ended up with substandard care and treatment which I don’t want for my son. Not everything was better in the 80’s etc.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 18/02/2025 22:01

YABU because he's an adult and should be seeing his GP by himself. Next time, let him go in by himself.

Weddingbells6 · 18/02/2025 22:04

AppleCucumber · 18/02/2025 21:25

Yes it's really surprising to me when people get backlash for caring for their you g adult children. Are parents expected to basically no longer care when their kids are adults? Baffling to me. My adult sister might ask me to go with her to the GP and I'd say yes so why wouldn't I support my own child? I wouldn't be any less devastated if something very bad happened to my adult child Vs my toddler. I know they have to learn to take care of themselves as adults but they are and will always be my children, I won't stop caring because they turned 18

Thank you. I was the same with my eldest, she 24 now with her own home and partner, job, dog etc. it hasn’t harmed her to have me there by her side while she still lived at home. I’m not sure why the people are so angry about it 😂 I have younger ones also and I suppose I’m just used to doing it and want to be fully informed myself to help him.

OP posts: