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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want some bloody money (not a begging thread)

102 replies

brokepoke · 17/02/2025 10:25

Not a begging thread but I just want some money. I just want to feel I have something to my name 😩 Salary goes in and shoots back out again the following week no matter how much I faff around with budgets.

I know I’m not alone - it’s a solidarity thread more than anything. I just want to have some bloody MONEY!

OP posts:
TempleBar9631 · 17/02/2025 10:29

Know the feeling. I was down to £1.25 before my February payday but my Feb outgoings will match my income exactly so I've still only got £1.25 till March payday. Let's hope no emergencies crop up!

GabbyP · 17/02/2025 10:29

You’re not alone OP!

brokepoke · 17/02/2025 10:34

I’m hopeful I might have a bit more money when the children are both in school, maybe <hopeful>

OP posts:
GabbyP · 17/02/2025 10:37

Nursery fees are a killer. I am telling myself the same.

Loveduppenguin · 17/02/2025 10:42

TempleBar9631 · 17/02/2025 10:29

Know the feeling. I was down to £1.25 before my February payday but my Feb outgoings will match my income exactly so I've still only got £1.25 till March payday. Let's hope no emergencies crop up!

Does that include all expenses like food…fuel etc or just household bills?

LittleRedRidingHoody · 17/02/2025 10:53

brokepoke · 17/02/2025 10:34

I’m hopeful I might have a bit more money when the children are both in school, maybe <hopeful>

Nursery/childcare fees made me lose the will to live honestly. I'll never forget chipping in towards nursery worker Christmas gifts of Starbucks gift cards (nothing wrong with that of course, they definitely deserved them!) and mentally doing the maths of how many months til DS started school and I could treat myself to my favourite drink without guilt!

Stresshead84x · 17/02/2025 10:55

I know the feeling- my whole wage was gone when I got paid and I hadn't even paid everything- I've not had a penny for the last week been livng out of what I could scrape from the freezer and going to inlaws for dinner one night, child benefit came in today but two bills came out so I now have under £100.00 to do a food shop for 2 weeks and get petrol. It's horrible.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 17/02/2025 11:15

I am often down to last couple of pennies and I feel like a rob Peter to pay Paul a lot of the time - I am always borrowing money. Then just when I think get this month over with, that's paid for, I should be OK next month and then something else comes up.

I have an excel spreadsheet with all money in and out and it still doesn't help.

Its the impulsive purchases I can't control. Or I go to Aldi for few bits and come out with a bag for £40. It's like i'm blind to it. I have been in some sort of debt my whole entire adult life. I see what I have, how long it needs to last me and think I can manage on that so I will spend this.

I also think I have ADHD (not just over the money situation) and don't know where to go for diagnosis because I feel stupid speaking to the GP and she might just say there's nothing wrong with you.

TempleBar9631 · 17/02/2025 11:16

Loveduppenguin · 17/02/2025 10:42

Does that include all expenses like food…fuel etc or just household bills?

Includes monthly food and fuel budgets but not personal stuff like toiletries, or allows for any unexpected expenses. I'm used to living on a shoestring though so not a problem to do. March will be better - might have nearly £30 left!

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 17/02/2025 11:19

It’s a tough situation, if you are already budgeting the only option is to increase your income whether by a new job or supplement with a 2nd job I know it’s not easy! X

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 17/02/2025 11:23

Me too, sick of having to think about whether I can buy or do every little thing 😭.

letslaughitoff · 17/02/2025 11:27

I hear you op my next pay day i have got to get a new washing machine thats almost £300 gone.

Pippatpip · 17/02/2025 11:32

This was me when I had children at nursery. My salary paid nursery and Tesco. Everything else was minus money. Looking back, we were on the bones of our arse for years. Got better once childcare was no longer needed. Teens eat a lot but not as much as childcare bills! It does get better and one day, you will be able to not worry about every penny.

Mrsttcno1 · 17/02/2025 11:43

I think there are a lot of people in the same position OP, budgeting advice is all well and good, don’t get me wrong there is absolutely a place for shopping at Aldi rather than M&S, making coffee at home rather than going to Starbucks, buying clothes from Vinted rather than Next etc, but there are lots of people for whom no amount of clever budgeting is going to make any real difference. If you’re income is £1500 and your essential outgoings are £1600, it is impossible to budget your way through, it is really awful.

JoyousGreyOrca · 17/02/2025 12:17

Yeah we desperately need a new mattress. And I do not even have childcare bills.

Loveduppenguin · 17/02/2025 12:24

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 17/02/2025 11:15

I am often down to last couple of pennies and I feel like a rob Peter to pay Paul a lot of the time - I am always borrowing money. Then just when I think get this month over with, that's paid for, I should be OK next month and then something else comes up.

I have an excel spreadsheet with all money in and out and it still doesn't help.

Its the impulsive purchases I can't control. Or I go to Aldi for few bits and come out with a bag for £40. It's like i'm blind to it. I have been in some sort of debt my whole entire adult life. I see what I have, how long it needs to last me and think I can manage on that so I will spend this.

I also think I have ADHD (not just over the money situation) and don't know where to go for diagnosis because I feel stupid speaking to the GP and she might just say there's nothing wrong with you.

Have you ever tried the “envelope” method? This works wonders for a lot of people. You take all of the money out of your bank account and assign them to each expense and create envelopes with the assigned amount in them for the month, so for example
fuel envelope with 200 in it
food envelope with 400 in it
kids clubs with 50 in it
etc etc

and then when you go shopping you only take a portion from the food envelope and nothing more.

ClassicBBQ · 17/02/2025 12:30

I'm exactly the same OP. I have only one pair of shoes and they are falling apart. I've been saying since October that I will treat myself to a new pair, but every month I'm in the red just paying for food, bills, stuff for the DCs. Maybe March will be the month I can buy myself some!

User543211 · 17/02/2025 12:39

Yes, I'm in my overdraft already this month due to the nursery bill being extra big for Feb (to account for half term when funding isn't covered).
I lie awake at night wondering how we will afford the July and August bill.
Eldest starts school in September thank goodness. She desperately needs a wardrobe or chest of drawers and we can't even afford to buy second hand on marketplace or a cheap IKEA one.
Our sofa was free on FB and is horrible, not comfy, ripped. But I can't see a day we'll ever be able to afford one! Same for a dining table - DH has knocked one up but I'd love a 'proper' one!
I can almost taste the freedom of no nursery fees and I'm so excited.

survivein25orthrive · 17/02/2025 12:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

brokepoke · 17/02/2025 12:41

Loveduppenguin · 17/02/2025 12:24

Have you ever tried the “envelope” method? This works wonders for a lot of people. You take all of the money out of your bank account and assign them to each expense and create envelopes with the assigned amount in them for the month, so for example
fuel envelope with 200 in it
food envelope with 400 in it
kids clubs with 50 in it
etc etc

and then when you go shopping you only take a portion from the food envelope and nothing more.

I don’t see how this would work nowadays, when a lot of places don’t even take cash.

OP posts:
RubyStorm · 17/02/2025 12:44

Loveduppenguin · 17/02/2025 12:24

Have you ever tried the “envelope” method? This works wonders for a lot of people. You take all of the money out of your bank account and assign them to each expense and create envelopes with the assigned amount in them for the month, so for example
fuel envelope with 200 in it
food envelope with 400 in it
kids clubs with 50 in it
etc etc

and then when you go shopping you only take a portion from the food envelope and nothing more.

This is a good idea. Though for an electronic version, I have several different "pots" under the one bank account. It's basically different savings accounts. On pay day I transfer money to different pots, then I know exactly what is available to spend.

I have ADHD and was in debt for too long! Being paid monthly didn't help, I struggled to plan that far ahead. Now I'm a contractor and paid weekly so it's much easier. If I had to go back to monthly pay, I'd divide it into 4 (or 5 depending on the month) and still pay myself weekly.

Runningshorts · 17/02/2025 12:46

I'm with you. I was ill for a while and it got me worried about what would happen if I couldn't work. I want to be able to put some savings away😩

WooleyMunky · 17/02/2025 12:54

The perennial MN staple - take in some ironing?

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 17/02/2025 12:58

Loveduppenguin · 17/02/2025 12:24

Have you ever tried the “envelope” method? This works wonders for a lot of people. You take all of the money out of your bank account and assign them to each expense and create envelopes with the assigned amount in them for the month, so for example
fuel envelope with 200 in it
food envelope with 400 in it
kids clubs with 50 in it
etc etc

and then when you go shopping you only take a portion from the food envelope and nothing more.

No, i've not tried that. I fill my car up on payday, which lasts me the month. I top up the school dinners for the month. I am with Monzo so you can have several pots, I put all the kids club/pocket money in one, all bill money in another, all subscriptions in another. If I see something I want I buy it and will figure out later how i'm going to pay for it - to be honest, I don't know whats wrong with me.

businessflop25 · 17/02/2025 13:02

I'm with you! Always feel like I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul! Never anything left at the end of the week/month.
Desperately trying to start a new business but have nothing left to buy stock or market with.
Shit credit rating due to years of living like this. Also have ADHD.
Feel like my pockets have holes in them as money just seems to disappear and I can't keep hold of it.
ADHD and burnout mean I struggle in employment so am self employed but limited to how much I can work. Just so completely fed up