To just want some bloody money (not a begging thread)

[brokepoke]

Not a begging thread but I just want some money. I just want to feel I have something to my name 😩 Salary goes in and shoots back out again the following week no matter how much I faff around with budgets.

I know I’m not alone - it’s a solidarity thread more than anything. I just want to have some bloody MONEY!

Another ADHD that just can't stick to the budget, no matter how hard I try, the food shop goes over or the kids need new trainers so I just buy them. I had a stressful week so treat myself....

I am getting better at leaving things in my shopping basket for a week and only buying it if I still want/need it.

I get it, I live in my overdraft and right now I'm almost at the limit with about £20 left. I work part time just above minimum wage and I'm part way through a 2 year course which has added expenses even though I got an advanced learner loan which I won't have to repay for a while. I have about £6k of debt and I'm constantly having to borrow or take money from my partner who earns more (we will be merging our money soon though). We have 5 kids between us (2nd relationship for both) and living with my dad while we save for a deposit to buy.
I'm 45 and felt that at my age I'd be more settled and it's really disappointing, that said we're healthy and happy so I try to dwell on that rather than what we haven't got. It's hard but life is what it is!

I think a lot of my mismanagement of money is due to ADHD and sent a message to my GP (easier than an appointment, though I'd have happily spoken to someone in person), I was sent a form to fill in with assessment questions which ended up with me having high markers for ADHD AND autism so I've been put on a waiting list for an official assessment (3 + years!), it's definitely worth doing, please don't feel stupid.

Thankfully I'm past that stage as kids grown up and left home etc but I do remember how soul destroying it is when you work for a month and it doesn't even clear your overdraft, only having one meal a day, rationing the heating etc.

Times will get better, as kids get older and the nursery fees drop off and you can finally see your mortgage coming down. The more work experience you have behind you the easier it is to look for higher paid posts etc.

Any chance when you are in those moments of purchasing you can step back and give yourself a few questions.
do I really NEED this?
why? Give a good solid reason.
can I afford it? Yes/no
and then even after that say ok…if I still feel the same in 48hours is I will come back and get it. I guarantee you that you won’t go back to purchase.

I've talked about it on here before and was met mostly with disgust but quite a few who had also done it, but you should look into matched betting as a way to make a little bit of extra money. There's a couple of big name websites that you can learn it through - one of which offers a 1 month free trial which I took up around this time last year. It's called 'betting' as you use betting websites, but if you follow the step by step guides you're guaranteed a profit.

They've got really helpful Facebook groups and forums as well that I asked loads of questions on and always got plenty of help. I realise it sounds like some sort of scam but it's really not. You won't get rich quick and you will have to put some effort in, but it would certainly relieve a bit of pressure and in my case it's paid for our family holiday this year.

I started with £200 (that I went into my free overdraft to use!) and have just passed £5000 profit in the year - you could start with less. I'm not really that dedicated to it - maybe around 3 or 4 hours per week across a few evenings and Sat/Sunday mornings. Winnings are all tax free as well which is nice!

If you do decide to give matched betting a whirl then Team Profit has some good videos to show you how it works. I watched the videos, but did not sign up for a monthly service, just found offers by checking the bookie sites. I made £4K.

Get a credit card and use it like a debit card and then everything at least gets you points. We had a trip to Legoland, Sea life centres a few times, West Midlands safari park and paid for ferry fares for holidays on my points. DH points paid for car hire and hotels.

But you must not use it for credit only spend what you can pay off every month. Mine is my fake debit card as I call it.

Im sure it won’t take long for the government to cotton on to it and start taxing it like they do everything else. They just haven’t got around to it yet.

They won't ever tax gambling winnings, because then they'd have to give tax rebates to those who lost money (the majority of regular punters).

Right. So if it’s guaranteed to make money, where does that money come from? Someone is providing it, and if not the betters who lose then who?

@theressomanytinafeysicouldbe i could have written your post about myself.

Oh OP I feel you, never more so than today. Had my car booked in for a second opinion as was quoted nearly £2k for gear box issue. Literally on the way to the garage when my engine light came on.

just had a call to say the turbo has now also gone which is another £1.2k to fix.

Not enough savings to cover it or to put anything down on a new car. Feel stuck between a rock and a hard place but live rurally so a car is a necessity.

I hope your situation improves soon!

Not everyone is matched betting. So the regular punters lose money to the bookies anyway. Matched bettors are just relieving the bookies of a tiny % of their profits.

The CEO of Bet365 took a 45% pay cut last year - with her annual salary slashed to a measly £150 million...... So I don't feel sorry that I've taken £1600 off them since the 1st of January!

Bookies may eventually realise that you're a matched bettor (when you've taken too much money from them) and close your account. I've had this happen at around 10 bookies so far.

I do what a pp suggested, when I get the ‘buy!’ Urge I wait a few days, it helps a lot (AuDHD, recently discovered). I also wait until I have actually saved the money before spending it, so save it in Jan, don’t spend it before Feb. I also keep a note of how much money I have left after everything else goes out, including all grocery shopping (I get everything booked for delivery at the start of the month). I allow an extra £5 a week on top of that in case I’ve forgotten something I need to add to each grocery order, and what’s over is made a note of. Grocery orders include toiletries, cleaning products etc. Say I have £100 over, I allow myself 1/5 of that each week, but aim not to spend all of it, in case of emergencies. Money into the different savings pots goes out on payday, and is only used for the things it’s earmarked for. I try to have a little bit left each month, however little it is (75p last month!) as an assurance that I am spending less than I earn. I have very little to spend on non-essentials for myself, about £10 a week, but that means I can do something nice for myself, even if it’s very small, eg an occasional tea and cake in a cafe as a treat, or a cheap haircut once a year.

I feel you OP. And we don’t have the childcare aspect! I put everything on a credit card and pay it off - this then gives me vouchers to spend as cash at Xmas or whenever and I’ve been doing it for years effectively using it as my bank account and leaving the money in my bank account to pay it. ( has always worked for us)
Ive always had leftover money.

skip forward 20 years - by day 3 of being paid I have nothing in my account. Our outgoings are less (don’t have kids clubs or much like that anymore to pay) my earnings are more and I don’t “fritter” money. I haven’t been paid for Feb yet and I know that my CC is more than I will have earnt this month and for the first time in 20 years I won’t be paying it off in full. This is not holidays and eating out we are talking about, this is day to day life.

I know what the root cause is (mortgage) but I’ve always had quite a “good” life, the one that if I wanted to blow £200 on clothes/things I wanted and had worked for I could.

but like a PP I spend every month eking out the last wear in my boots and hoping that I win the lottery/premium bonds come good…..
(this would work if I had more than. £50 on and played the lottery 🤣)

oh and to look at us - if you don’t look at my feet - we are apparently wellish off. I’m bored of alienating friends by rejecting their invitations out as I don’t have the cash!

It's utter shit, isn't it?

My whole adult life has been like this. I've realised recently that I almost definitely will die a pauper!
I wish I could help. I'd be terrible if I had money, I'd give it all away 🤣

this is how I budget out mine…I kept separate pots for a long time but now it’s so ingrained in me I just don’t have to any more.
In -2750
CB-280
Benefits-177

Total: 3,207

Rent 1400
Electricity 120
Life insurance 40
Internet/tv/2 phones 86
Bin charge 23
Apple 20
Disney 10
DS club 25

Total 1,724
Leftover 1,483

1483 goes to
300 food
240 fuel
200 savings
50 kids clubs/school trips etc
100 treats/coffees/takeaways
100 clothes/shoes
50 birthdays/gifts
50 prescriptions/medicines
150 holidays/trips (either as a payment off a booking or as savings)
I know this essentially leaves over 243 but it gets eaten up somewhere usually and if not it’s put into savings.

Basically the bookies ban you when they see you're doing it because they hate people doing it.

I have friends who have done it and they said it's not as great as people make out, they actually make more money from referring people to sign up than they do actually doing matched betting.

Plus if you have vulnerabilities to addiction it's dangerous because it's even more addictive than regular gambling.

Got a flyer through the post from Labour saying "more money in your pocket" and I felt insulted... as 'higher' earners we just pay for everyone else to have more in the pockets...
Sorry, I sound like a mad old tory and the sad thing is I am actually very left leaning... this is what happens when things are not fair....

Agreed. Gambling addiction has soared. It destroys lives. And free bets are often a way people are enticed into gambling who would otherwise never have gambled.
Be very wary.

I could have written this post to the letter. I'm the exact same.
Always been like it and that's why I never have any money.
I darent even calculate what I owe on overdraft, credit card, klarna etc.

What bothers me is the advice in the media like "cut out that Starbucks coffee a day and save £200" a month and I don't buy coffees or anything frivolous. Nothing to cancel except for Netflix.

Have you had a look at this?

Did one of mine for about 4 years before I could get the money together for a new wardrobe.

Gymax on Amazon

@Skethylita thanks that's very affordable isn't it?! Never seen those before!