Not farting in front of DH

[Dancingatthepinkponyclub]

Not really an AIBU but I love hearing what others think!

Have been with my DH for 18 years and have never intentionally farted in front of him. I mean I know it’s impossible to hold every fart in but he’s never actually heard one! If I need to I would go in another room or be discreet. My mum and sister are the same and a couple of friends. Also my DH is the same and won’t in front of me unless he does by mistake!

I know it’s natural and everyone does it but I’d never want to endure someone’s else’s fart nor make them endure mine! It hardly makes you attractive does it! That being said I wouldn’t fart in front of anyone… I mean maybe the dog!

what do you think?!

Those who finds farts funny - like, why? I think they’re gross, really struggle to see why anyone would find them funny. I mean is all farts that amuse you, or just particular ones?

Honestly I don't know. It's not a conscious decision to find the topic funny, it just bypasses my intelligent, adult brain and I'm in hysterics. You know how young children go through that stage? It's like I never got passed that.
That's okay though, it's nice to have an extra source of amusement in the world, and at least DH and I are fart-compatible.

Same here. Never

I agree. It’s such a turn off. Some things are meant to be private

Well that’s the second dumbest thing I’ve heard on MN.

🤢

Omg can this go to classics? I'm laughing witn gusto,!

My god, if any one of us left the room to fart, we'd never be in the same room. We are a very windy family and farts are hilarious. I farted during sex once and couldn't stop laughing.
Like pp, he's seen me give birth, a fart is nothing.

We’ve been married 30 years and my husband has never farted in front of me 😂. I cannot say the same but wouldn’t intentionally do it. It’s one thing i find really grim.

We are all so different!

I think I found the one when I felt I was considered enough that he didn't fart in the bed or the room I was in.

I don't think I'm a prude at all, certainly not about sex or nudity. I just don't like unpleasant smells.

It's natural to break wind. Nothing wrong with a little discretion in public but families should be comfortable enough with each other to let out any potential discomfort. And it can be quite funny.

DS once had a girlfriend who gave him a lecture about how disgusting guffs 0were and how he shouldn't do them in front of her and have more respect. I think she thought that DH and I would back her up. DH just looked up and over his half moons in a bemused way and said something like "my dear, you won't like it here". I contemplated cooking lamb, leeks and onion sauce in the hope she wouldn't come back. She came back for four bloody years.

Just curious for people who say they physically cannot hold them in, what do you do at work? Do you all just work at home by yourself? And what do you do at appointments?
I don’t really like farting in front of anyone but have occasionally in front of my husband. He farts in front of me and I don’t mind.

But I work as a dental hygienist. I’m with patients for 80% of my working day. I couldn’t just let rip every time I wanted. And I’d find it disgusting if someone did it while I was treating them.
I also wouldn’t want to be at the hairdresser and have them farting constantly and have them just say oh sorry I’ve got a bad stomach etc. Or my GP just lift a leg and let out a massive fart then say carry on telling me about your depression.
Or a funeral director meeting a new client and let’s out a loud fart in front of the grieving and crying clients.

So while I get it that people want to fart freely at home that’s fine. I understand that. But people who say they PHYSICALLY CAN’T hold them in do you just fart loudly and without concern about smell no matter where you are?

Can't help it when I'm getting to the age now that I have kinetic farts that just escape when I'm bending over or I start walking. 😂 Never been told to hold them in, so I can't, they come when they come. I might excuse myself at work if I can feel one brewing, but otherwise I'll just fart with gay abandon, as will DH.

I have NC for this.
I was staying with my mum before she had a serious operation.
We were all anxious.
I suffer from IBS.
When she got up in the morning I farted. Normally not a problem, we aren't a non fart household.
Except.... this fart was so offensive it made my mum gag and retch and eventually puke in the bin.
My reaction was nervous laughter, wanting to see to her too, as I got up to pass the bin another one fell out.

I was banished to the garden.

I live alone. I'm not conscious about farting but after reading this thread I realised when I do fart (alone in my house) I excuse myself 😂

One of my in laws & their family are non farters. Why they married my sibling I've no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️ it is my siblings hobby I think & their spouse hates it with a passion.

Could you not have told her that it was the anaesthetic?

Well that’s the second dumbest thing I’ve heard on MN.

Case in point.

I don't know a single person who doesn't find farts funny. Only on Mumsnet are there swathes of people utterly baffled by the idea that they could ever possibly be funny, and they would never ever fart within earshot of their husband.

Well it's not a choice between the two is it? Most people aren't cocking a leg to fart in lieu of telling a funny anecdote at a dinner party. It's just that when a fart happens naturally, it's a funny unexpected sound.

It's also not about it being attractive, so that's a weird argument. My husband is gorgeous but he's not attractive 24/7. There are lots of mundane things that people do that aren't attractive, but I don't mind seeing my partner doing them. Flossing, cleaning the cat litter, plucking a stray eyebrow that's annoying him, blowing his nose, making that bloody hacking sound when he's ill, clipping his nails. He's a human being I share my life with, not everything he does is going to be a display of mysterious masculine gorgeousness.

At least farting is a bit of light relief in more ways than one.

It's literally a funny noise. Children know the joy of this naturally without tying themselves up in knots about it all.

least DH and I are fart-compatible.

I don't know a single person who doesn't find farts funny. Only on Mumsnet

Your world must be very small or filled with 9 and 10 year old boys.
It's a bodily function, that stinks, a mere hairs breadth from a shit.

Would sneezing entertain you too.

The simple pleasures.

My world isn't small in the slightest.

Do you only know people who can't fathom why it's funny?

If you're a bawhair away from shitting yourself every time you fart that's probably because you hold them in so much. Let them out more often and you'll be less likely to nearly shit your pants hen.

@ArtTheClown

gross
really unsexy

“Well it's not a choice between the two is it? Most people aren't cocking a leg to fart in lieu of telling a funny anecdote at a dinner party.”

This thread 🤣

Oh this is such a Mumsnet thing. Of course you don't fart in front of other people if you can help it.

Accidental ones are fine and are often really funny, obviously. But on purpose? Smelly and horrible. And in the case of some people,usually, if not always, men, deliberately controlling and a sign of dominance.

I have an image of all these fart-hating posters being wrestled to the ground by their husbands who then fart on their head to show dominance.

Of course you don't fart in front of people if you can help it. Like at the checkout aisle in Asda. But in your own home? With your husband? Yes.

Yes, a great many people obviously don't see the problem with farting in their own home. Because there is no problem.

Why would anyone be less considerate of family than they are of strangers in the queue at Asda??

Being gross and uncouth isn't a sign of love, respect and intimacy. Quite the reverse.

@RosesAndHellebores

bit patronising of your husband
shes not wrong to not want to smell the insides of her boyfriends intestines (or yours or your husbands for that matter)