Not farting in front of DH

[Dancingatthepinkponyclub]

Not really an AIBU but I love hearing what others think!

Have been with my DH for 18 years and have never intentionally farted in front of him. I mean I know it’s impossible to hold every fart in but he’s never actually heard one! If I need to I would go in another room or be discreet. My mum and sister are the same and a couple of friends. Also my DH is the same and won’t in front of me unless he does by mistake!

I know it’s natural and everyone does it but I’d never want to endure someone’s else’s fart nor make them endure mine! It hardly makes you attractive does it! That being said I wouldn’t fart in front of anyone… I mean maybe the dog!

what do you think?!

I fart at will. Whenever wherever.

It's just comfortable and we all do it.

Poor Will - whatever did he do to deserve that?!

I don't like to fart in front of DH if I'm really honest. But I get awful tummy ache if I hold loads of wind in and a bloated belly isn't sexy either. That said if I can go to the bathroom ect I will. I tend to only be really windy every now and then when I've eaten something that's not quite agreed or really overdone it on the veg so not a daily stress for me. If it was I'd probably get over it and he'd have to deal with it. He's not much of a farter either yet.

Same 🙋🏼‍♀️
Been together for 20 years and I never do it in front of DH. He thinks there’s something wrong with me. 😂

Oh don’t get me wrong I find them hilarious but I don’t want my husband to hear me doing it!!

If you don't find farts funny you're both losers because you're chosing to have less joy in your life but the exact same amount of farts.

Don't you worry, I have plenty of joy. Farts and poop? Equally boring and not funny.

@biscuitsandbooks

adults don’t love each unconditionally though.

I knew I had found the one when I felt comfortable enough to fart in front of him!

now there’s no stopping me.

We have plenty of joy and laughs without smelling and hearing the contents of others' gastrointestinal tract.

How low can people stoop, really? That's "joy"??

Open trumping here. With apologies though.

Yes, the only adults likely to love you unconditionally are your parents. No one else, not even adult children and certainly not partners.

That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve heard on MN.

True, but we're not talking about your partner deciding to have an affair, assault you or do something else that's deliberately selfish, nasty, treacherous, hurtful and/or illegal behaviour.

It's just your human partner doing a normal, natural, run-of-the-mill thing that humans have to do every day. You could just as easily take offence at your partner daring to go grey or wrinkly over time, if you're with them for a lot of years!

adults don’t love each unconditionally though.

True, but my conditions aren't that stringent that they include natural bodily functions. Violence, deception, cruelty - yes. A few farts? All good.

Or fancy each other unconditionally. If DH sat on the sofa guffing all evening, of course I'd still love him, but if he made a habit of it it wouldn't exactly set my loins afire. And I imagine he'd say the same of me.

The occasional fart can't be helped and shouldn't be a problem. That goes double if there's a medical reason why it can't be helped. And we all know farts can be funny (although my ex thought 'pull my finger' and shoving my head under the bedclothes etc after a fart was the height of hilarity, and it really wasn't). But personally if DH and I just routinely lifted one cheek and let rip every time we felt one coming, and didn't even bother to acknowledge it, for me personally that wouldn't feel very respectful. Especially if the farts stank.

This thread has just reminded me that when I was growing up my parents would constantly 'fart in place' without comment (that was a real treat when my dad was having a stab at the F-plan diet 😩) and when I commented on it to my mum she said something along the lines that not worrying about burping and farting in front of your partner* 'brings you closer together'. Medical necessity aside, if that's what closer together looks like, I think I'd rather maintain a bit of distance, thanks all the same!

(*see also: picking one's ears and looking at it. But I digress.)

Good point. If you just fart willy nilly around your partner, they might still love you but will they still fancy you? Over time will it give them the ick? I mean, it’s normal, to some people (bizarrely) humorous, but it’s not sexy is it.

@BunnyLake

That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve heard on MN.

It's one of the funniest things I've heard on MN

If you don't find farts funny you're both losers because you're chosing to have less joy in your life but the exact same amount of farts.

@Thirstysue you are a genius 😂

The evidence on this thread does seem to indicate that those who fart merrily and laugh at each other's farts, do seem to have the better sense on humour. Those arguing the contrary are coming across as prim and upright.

@Spudthespanner I just don’t find farting or things like burping and picking one’s nose sexually attractive. Sure we all do those things-but I’d rather laugh at my dh’s wit than farts.

It’s the same as pelvic floors but just the bum. They have to teach you how to do them as it’s quite tricky. I hope my son does not remember any of what he saw when he was sat in his buggy at my physio appointments as I do wonder if he will recount it in therapy one day…

I'll probably get hate for this but I find it a bit baffling that people find that stuff funny beyond childhood.

Thank you Bubbles.
also thank you for bringing me a smile 😃

It would be pretty amazing if when he becomes an adult, he shows a distinct preference for a beautiful bum (like his mums) I think we would all be amazed at what a therapy or hypnosis session could reveal about our childhoods that’s deep deep down in our psyche 😱🤭

You can certainly see why the Fart Plan Diet was promoted using only the initial of the first word

Those who finds farts funny - like, why? I think they’re gross, really struggle to see why anyone would find them funny. I mean is all farts that amuse you, or just particular ones?

Burping and nose picking are not funny or attractive, I do agree.

Farts on the other hand ..... they are. I don't know why. 🤣🤣 I guess I just never grew up there (58 now) and nor did my parents.