Buying house with partner

[WhoevenamIinlife]

So I own my own home - I purchased it with sales from my old ex marital home to live with my 2 DD.

Few years later I meet new partner he moves in pays 50% of running costs. We have another baby. Partner on a salary of £35k so unable to save much. Has no savings before meeting me or own property.

We want to get a bigger place and partner wants to get on property ladder.

Issues arising - he is a contractor on £650 a day so income is huge but not a permanent contract. He has saved near £10k since December so I know he is able to save but nowhere near to match equity in my home already. I should have about £300 - £350k by the time we want to buy. He obviously cannot match that but does want 50/50 ownership and has suggested I put down the deposit and he will cover all mortgage payments forever... so at the end of the mortgage he would've paid off the same as I put in if not more.
My concerns - it's contracting not guaranteed and what If we decide to go our own ways. How can I protect my deposit, allow him to feel he's 50% owner but also get the bigger home we need for the children.

AIBU in feeling uncomfortable about his proposition? I trust him but I need to protect my assesses especially as I have been working hard over paying to have as much equity as I do.

Only way is a tenants in common mortgage to protect your share. You’d be mad to do 50-50 with that equity

Also when things go pear shaped, as can often happen, if you have all your money tied up in an asset that he has the right to live in, you are rightly screwed.

Focus on the worst case scenario and how you would cope, because unfortunately when you don't, that is often what happens.

He will have his highly paid job and quick access to money where as you would be dependent on a sale of a house.

You and your children have so much to lose.

Don't leave it until you hit a bump to fully realise that.

I'd be careful. My male friend bought an expensive house with his then wife. He put in the proceeds of his house sale and she put in about £10k. She earned double what he did. No children.
She asked for a divorce about six months later (so she must have been considering it when they bought the house).

She ended up getting half the proceeds of the house sale in the divorce despite earning double his wage and there being no children.

OP ask dp about tenant in common and the percentage share as posted on the thread. Come back and tell us what he says and will agree to. It will tell us everything we need to know.

An update for this of you interested - I have told OP about the TiC idea based on the percentage of deposit we put down at time of purchase - he is in full agreement. We are going to wait til end of my fixed term 2 year deal and assess how much he has saved (from his daily rate of £650/day) for the next 16 months. I will most likely match what he puts down so we go in equally and keep my current house and put it on rent as an investment or depending on what's out there to buy do the percentage TiC method and split equally the amount we borrow and add to the deposit amount for our final percentage. I really appreciate every single one of you and your support and words offered.

can you personally afford and get a mortgage for a second property, and the costs / tax of being a landlady?

I have not even looked into that option just a passing thought. But probably not to be honest

Didn’t seem realistic.

It also seems unrealistic for him to match your investment in such a short space of time.

Have you discussed the options likely to be best for you, of owning in proportions; or you buying a different place by yourself and him investing his money elsewhere?

You'd be buying with a Tenancy in Common agreement drawn up by a solicitor.

That means you get back the share of equity you put in. So if you put in 90% you'd get that proportion back if you split up and sold the house.

This is very common and cohabiting couples do it all the time (as do friends who buy together.)

You possibly can't do that as your first mortgage might need to be changed to a buy to let which is a higher interest rate.

You'd also have to pay tax on your income from renting it out.

I doubt he would be matching mine more me matching him with what he saved and keep my additional deposit for other things

Somewhat cynical approach. Love comes into it too. I am currently purchasing a property from a couple where the house was originally bought when the guy was single.
If OP loved the guy enough to have a baby with him, that makes them a family.

I wonder if he moved in his girlfriend when she had no house, no savings and a bad financially history. Oh and he had two young children

Definitely not. If he can't come up with close to half the deposit then the ownership split should reflect this. If it turns out that he's able to save well during the next few years, you could move and buy a new property together 50 50 or even let him pay you out of part of your share.

It absolutely is possible to rent out your house (if you actually want to become a landlord, which there are lots of downsides too). If it's something you are serious about, I would look into moving into a rental yourself for the short term of your fixed term mortgage, and get a consent to let your property.
When your fixed rate ends, you can remortgage to a buy to let mortgage, and if you need to, release some equity from your current property to put down as a deposit for the new house.

@Praying4Peace

It might be 'cynical' but it's also practical, although I expect if the roles were reversed and the woman was going into the relationship with nothing the advice would be different.

I wouldn't even bother with TiC, just don't do it although you absolutely should do TiC if you go ahead. I did it with my ex partner and he literally refused to sign the paperwork so the house could be transferred in to my name when we split up. He tried everything to argue himself out of it, lots of solicitors and threatend to take me to court etc....I spent thousands on conveyancing fees as he refused to sign anything. As my solicitor said, there was absolutely no way a court would rule over the trust deed but it would have to get to court as he won't put pen to paper.
Also if you get married, you need to re make wills after marriage so the TIC still stands.

When I did this we ring fenced my deposit (20k) so if we split and sell I get the first 20k equity and the rest is split 50/50. However we have been together 20 years and dh has paid the mortgage for nearly ten years due to my health and being a carer to our son, so I doubt I'd enforce it now!

Very cynical. They since married and had a baby

My point exactly, thank you

So…. He didn’t move in a girlfriend with no savings, no home and a poor financial history and he didn’t already have 2 young children.

And you have squat all idea what she brought to the table financially

whereas we know what this chap is bringing to the table…. And it’s meagre to say the least. Hasn’t stopped him demanding rather a lot more

Would you feel the same if the roles were reversed? IE if it was the man who had the house and the woman had moved in?

If it was a man with two young children who owned a home, and moved in a girlfriend who had no savings, no property and a poor financial history and no children…. Well if it was my brother or son, I’d be bloomin worried put it like that!

Sounds like a better plan Op
Just be wary if a sudden surprise proposal appears.
He's backed down quickly from insisting on 50/50 ...