Buying house with partner

[WhoevenamIinlife]

So I own my own home - I purchased it with sales from my old ex marital home to live with my 2 DD.

Few years later I meet new partner he moves in pays 50% of running costs. We have another baby. Partner on a salary of £35k so unable to save much. Has no savings before meeting me or own property.

We want to get a bigger place and partner wants to get on property ladder.

Issues arising - he is a contractor on £650 a day so income is huge but not a permanent contract. He has saved near £10k since December so I know he is able to save but nowhere near to match equity in my home already. I should have about £300 - £350k by the time we want to buy. He obviously cannot match that but does want 50/50 ownership and has suggested I put down the deposit and he will cover all mortgage payments forever... so at the end of the mortgage he would've paid off the same as I put in if not more.
My concerns - it's contracting not guaranteed and what If we decide to go our own ways. How can I protect my deposit, allow him to feel he's 50% owner but also get the bigger home we need for the children.

AIBU in feeling uncomfortable about his proposition? I trust him but I need to protect my assesses especially as I have been working hard over paying to have as much equity as I do.

Let's say house you are buying is £700,000. You own 50% outright as you've paid the £350k deposit - this is protected, including any rise/fall the value of your % equity stake.

You then need to decide who is owning the 50% debt. You are risking it here as if he doesn't pay your house could still get repossessed.

I think you need to wait 6 months, at least, anyway whilst you save up for stamp duty, solicitors etc etc.
Do not marry him.

@Dogthespot one of those children is his?!

I find your judgement fairly offensive. And quite judgy. If for example that was the case surely you would be more sympathetic than being how you are?
and no I wasn't married to someone abusive. Just a tosser who I didn't want to raise my children with.

Buy as tenants in common, make a will and sign over your half of the property to your children. This way their inheritance is secured for their future. If you don't then there's no guarantee that your original dd's will receive anything after you die. It would just be your shared child with your partner that would inherit.

I wouldn't agree to buying anything with him at all. In fact, I'd leave everything in trust to my children. Children are more important than partners who come and go over time but your kids are your blood. Put them first always.

How long have you been with him before getting pregnant?

Good god it gets worse..."a poor financial history" he might well be in a phase right now where he has paid of his debts but he's earning a fortune.. The biggest predictor of someone's future behaviour is their past behaviour. Assuming this man isn't 22 he has a history of getting into debt (which frankly gives most us the massive ick.... It's just so childlike) so a high likelihood of mismanagement of money in the future. The position your in now where you have full access to accounts (presumably to monitor the manchild) is fine....Up until the point he gets a new card/account that he doesn't wish to be monitored... Honestly please wake up.... He's a walking liability

I'm currently buying a property with DP, we earn about the same but he is supplying all the deposit from his house sale. We're buying as tenants in common with a declaration of trust, if the property is sold, he gets the deposit back, after that any equity would be split 50/50 between us. The mortgage is in joint names and we'll contibute equally to the payments. I don't know if this is still completely fair on him, but he is happy and so am I.

Ok but you a ignoring major red flags
He's earning 35K but has no money and no stability-why?
Alcohol/ gambling/ overspending ?
He is telling you he WANTS 50/50
50/50 of YOUR money whilst he has zero

If you can't see the brass neck cheek aka financial abuse here then good luck
Be offended just don't make a huge financial mistake

No, You need to calculate the % of the house you own vs % they own. Base this on the deposit or whats left after. He'll almost have nothing after stamp duty and fees from 10k

He's clearly poor at financial security at best, at worst he's probably a gambler

Reaching, or projecting? who knows

It's quite common for a low earner previously on 35k to not have a property or assets, he has only recently got the contract £650 a day so he is now a high earner and has saved 10k since December so highly unlikely to be a gambler.

Yes he has a child... with OP. A child often focusses a mind to make roots and start laying foundations.

32.5% of the value mortgaged is his debt. It's not equity until it's paid. If he cant/won't pay his debt then it doesn't all of a sudden get paid (unless OP decides to stupidly pay it, which i doubt)

Take your bigoted opinion and project it elsewhere.

He's a contractor and also on a salary?

For clarity he did have a poor financial history prior to meeting hence no saving or property
Perhaps you need to re read Op
Her quote

Of course he wants 50/50 home ownership!

Go to a solicitor and get an agreement drawn up to protect your assets in the property.

Either protect your deposit or put down a smaller amount he can match and invest the rest. Don't let him steal from you and your kids.

This will end badly op

are. For clarity he did have a poor financial history prior to meeting hence no saving or property -

just the kind of prince I would want to introduce in to my young children’s lives and have a baby with

Just buy a house yourself, using your existing equity which fits you and your three children in. Of course he can live there with you too, paying half the bills - but make sure you cover 100% of the mortgage.

He can buy his own separate property for his own stability if he so wishes. Don't marry.

Tenants in common and a declaration of trust. Do not go for the option he is suggesting as tbh there is a reason he hasn't saved a single penny before... you said he is financially unreliable. Your Spidey senses are screaming no and trust them!! If you do it his way and you part company with no documents then he will be entitled to half. Don't be daft @WhoevenamIinlife you know the answer deep down. Protect your 350k
Be mindful if you marry your declaration of trust becomes null and void unless you sign a pre nup. Protect it at all costs! Your declaration would look something like this. When selling the property OP to get back 350k deposit, partner 10k. And any profit split 50.50. I would also pay 50.50 in mortgage do there can be no arguments. Personally, stay where you are and see what happens in a year as there is a baby involved. Good luck! 💐

Be so careful OP.
MN is littered with awful tales of women who threw away their childrens home and security.
Be as bad minded as you can be to protect yourself.
The alternative is unthinkable.....left with 3 children to house!

You must protect the % you put in as a deposit (including its capital growth). The same for his 10k plus growth. All debt/equity after that can be 50/50 as he requested. Solicitor can help you with a declaration of trust.

Whatever you do, don't marry him or you might as well rip up the declaration of trust as he'll become entitled to 50/50 anyway.

is ring fencing the deposit not the same as percentage of equity if the property was to sell?

Not necessarily.

Imagine a house costing £200k
You put in £100k deposit.
And pay the £100k mortgage 50/50
You have paid 50% of the value with your deposit.

By the time you have paid off the mortgage and then decide to sell the house is worth £400k. You have now paid £100k deposit plus. £50k mortgage. I.e 75% of the total cost.

So 50%, the % of your deposit, does not represent yout investment.

Even worse if you ringfence £100k, get that back and then split the remaining equity 50/50.

Ringfence your deposit as a % of the value of the property.
Then stipulate that the mortgaged amount / remainder of equity is split 50/50
And pay half the mortgage.

I speak from bitter experience.

2 options I would consider. Matching his deposit and owning a property 50:50 whilst I invested the balance elsewhere (potentially a buy to let). Or invest my equity in the home and go 50:50 on the balance and If he then wanted to increase his personal future ‘worth’ then he can buy a rental property.

No way would I invest my money in the property without protecting it first, if he expects you to do that then he’s not a keeper.

It's a bit vague and contradictory - he earns 35 which isn't more than average - and yet has huge earnings on a contract. How long is the contract for? Does he pay towards the mortgage and if so what proportion or amount - running costs covers what exactly? Do you work and earn?

Whatever you do, do not give away your property which is the only thing you have for you and your children, from your former marriage. And do not risk it being lost to you or them, even in part, in the future.

Get all your facts, figures and circumstances organised and precisely set out on paper so that you can get comprehensive and accurate legal advice before you go any further.

I read as he was on 35k when he moved in and is now on a 650/day contract.

This thread is pretty wild imo OP. I have no idea if your DP is a waster or not but I know that perfectly responsible adults often have a point in their life before which they had saved nothing. I recall my DP telling me that when he was 30 he decided it was time to stop spending and start saving (he’d always had good jobs but had spent all his money on nice cars and traveling). By the time I met him when he was 39 he owned 2 properties and a decent pension. He want a waster when he was 30, he’d just not prioritised saving. People can change (and typically do, as they get older).

anyway, I digress. His suggestion is clearly not sensible but protecting your deposit (in % terms) would create a perfectly reasonable and commonly used solution. This is really not the catastrophe it’s being made out to be.