Buying house with partner

[WhoevenamIinlife]

So I own my own home - I purchased it with sales from my old ex marital home to live with my 2 DD.

Few years later I meet new partner he moves in pays 50% of running costs. We have another baby. Partner on a salary of £35k so unable to save much. Has no savings before meeting me or own property.

We want to get a bigger place and partner wants to get on property ladder.

Issues arising - he is a contractor on £650 a day so income is huge but not a permanent contract. He has saved near £10k since December so I know he is able to save but nowhere near to match equity in my home already. I should have about £300 - £350k by the time we want to buy. He obviously cannot match that but does want 50/50 ownership and has suggested I put down the deposit and he will cover all mortgage payments forever... so at the end of the mortgage he would've paid off the same as I put in if not more.
My concerns - it's contracting not guaranteed and what If we decide to go our own ways. How can I protect my deposit, allow him to feel he's 50% owner but also get the bigger home we need for the children.

AIBU in feeling uncomfortable about his proposition? I trust him but I need to protect my assesses especially as I have been working hard over paying to have as much equity as I do.

His request is a massive red flag.

you’ve worsened your DCs’ housing and financial situation by having DC3 with someone with a poor financial situation, seeking to financially benefit from you, without having agreed sensible financial and housing arrangements.

If you alone can afford to buy a larger place, would do that. If you can’t and you’re willing to risk housing ties with him (many wouldn’t) get legal advice and offer him a small share (proportionate to his upfront investment) to increase after such time that he’s invested more through payments.

If he quibbles with that he had poor, selfish intentions and for your DCs’ sake would think again about your ‘family unit’

You don’t just need to protect your deposit but the gains on your part of the house too.

if you just protect your deposit, say the house is worth 500k & goes up 10% so now worth 550k. Based on 50% share on all but the deposit he’d almost double his money on just 10% gain.

If you then split up, take your deposit you’d 25k worse off & all other houses had increased too so your effectively behind.

On a 500k house, Stamp duty is 12.5k & then fees. Going 50/50 on them he’s effectively got about £1k to put in compared to your £350k

Go to see a solicitor, don't let the conveying person do it as not likely to be qualified.

You may both need legal advice to make it binding. Upshot is you protect your deposit, in a deed of trust, as a % rather than amount.

Things to consider - selling and buying costs are fairly high..around 10k plus stamp duty. This should be split 50/50 but can he afford it?

The fact he suggested you do this without protecting your finances is a definite red flag. He isn't looking out for you.

How do I know? I was in a similar situation and my once trusted H changed, so that a few years later I was fighting to secure my financial future. Please, please don't ignore what he has said. If you add in his lack of financial stability in the past you have more red flags.

Will he be able to get a mortgage on very recent pay increase? I think that might be the first step as he will usually have to file multiple years of tax returns before securing a mortgage

Often women are so keen to have a comfortable home for their children they are blinded by the red flags. Make sure you are seeing the reality of the situation and work out what would happen if the relationship fails.

My conveyancing solicitor drew up a deed of trust to accompany the tenants in common house purchase.

roughly paid the deposit in 75:25 ratio but agreed to slightly different % based on who was paying higher share of the mortgage.

if I was him contributing say 10% of deposit I would want at least share so I also get 10% of capital growth. If I was paying more of mortgage I might expect 15% or 20% to account for that ( will depend on the math) and that’s reasonable

a solicitor can help you agree the actual numbers

He obviously cannot match that but does want 50/50 ownership

How did you manage to to keep a straight face when he came out with this gem?

Tell Billy Big Balls to take his 10 grand deposit and his 35k salary and his “not a permanent contract” to a mortgage advisor to see what exactly he can buy on his own.

He needs a reality check.

Thankyou everyone for your responses. I appreciate the looking out for my interest perspectives. I do not plan to give away my deposit or equity to this man. I plan to build a future together that protects me and my children's home in as things do not work out. Protecting deposits will be my way forward. I do not want to and will not lose out anymore than I have already done financially from previous mistakes.

is ring fencing the deposit not the same as percentage of equity if the property was to sell?
it's so complicated buying again with someone who is not on the same ladder .

WTAF!!!
NO DO NOT DO THIS

Even as tenants in common

He actually had the cheek to say he wants 50/50
You are handing him your children's future and him asking this of you is a whole row of 🚩
Why are people saying 75%/ 25% ?
He doesn't have 25% to put down !
He has solicitors fees

Buy alone until he has enough saved to put a lump sum into the property
I think his answer to that will tell you everything you need to know

Do the % of equity. That will cover you. You then both continue to pay 50/50

At this point he doesn’t even have enough money to cover legal fees and stamp duty, never mind a percentage of the property.

Also, if he’s paying the mortgage then you need to make sure other household bills are split fairly (assuming you’re not putting all money in a family pot). I could imagine based on what you’ve said so far and some of the other people I’ve read about here, that he might come up with something like “I’m paying the mortgage (let’s say eg £1k per month) so you need to cover council tax/energy/food.” Of course this is unfair because he and not you will benefit from the mortgage payments because that’s been agreed it will increase his share of the property, whereas both of you will benefit from the other bills being paid, so they shouldn’t be left to just you.

Listen, ok, spelling it out.

a Milliion pound house (for ease) so if she puts 350k down that's 35% OP owns already.

the other 65% would be split via mortgage 50/50. (32.5% equity)

Obviously all fees and SD etc. are seperate this is just the property.

So OP would own 67.5% (including any mortgage)
and the one with no deposit would only have 32.5%

when they come to sell the property, at 2 milliin (for ease) OP has 62.5% equity - so their original 350k is double and safe.

that's how tenants in common works.

Yes, you can write on the TP1 itself, say if OP's equity in the deposit was 90%

"property to be held as tenants in common with the first 90% of equity allocated to [OP's name] upon sale, with the remainder of equity divided equally"

Then contribute equally to the mortgage, or the deed of trust can be amended above if he can offer to buy some of your share of the house much further down the line when he actually has the fucking money, not a meaningless promise based on nothing. He can save for this via standing order to his own savings account, like he would do for the mortgage anyway.

*TR1

Obviously my examples were used for ease of the numbers, by the time you come to purchase, you'd have to calculate all the fees and stamp duty, put monies (50/50) aside for those, then see how much money he has left and then you calculate the price of the property, and your initial %, the remaining % is 50/50.

You don't need to explain this to me
I know how it works

He's barely saved a penny in his entire life so why on earth would you tell Op to buy a house with him?
It's insanity!

he gets 32.5% of the value but what if Mrnosavings suddenly decides he can't affordwon't pay his half of the mortgage?
He's got no assets or savings at all and has a child -He's clearly poor at financial security at best, at worst he's probably a gambler

Don't do it Op

I came on to say this
He pays 50% of running costs
Where does the rest of his money go?

£650 a day is Waaaaay more than £35k a year.

His maths is way off. As are his expectations of a 50/50 split if he's putting in no deposit! You'd be utterly insane to agree to this op

I would buy as TiC, with your deposit protected as a % of the equity . %, not the cash value to protect the value increase of the property over time. (I.e don’t lose the increase in values if your deposit).

Then the remaining % owned 50:50 with you each paying half the mortgage.

If he has money left over he can save it separately for his own future security.

If you ever split up, he has one child to take a share of responsibility for. You have total responsibility for 2, and shared for one. Keep your security safe accordingly.

And don’t marry him while your assets remain so uneven.

I'm gonna comment again because I'm so incensed by his suggestion.

If he's earning £650 A DAY his annual salary is in excess of £140k A YEAR.

Or he's only working 4.5 days a month?

You're poles apart in your financial savvy op. You CANNOT risk the equity you've already got to buy a house with a man who is so financially irresponsible/lying about his expenses AND who isn't capable of understanding why his proposal is so preposterous and monumentally unfair on you

DON'T DO IT

Absolutely don’t agree to him 50/50 and covering expenses. Because he will put in £10k and will get to walk away with half, potentially round the mark of £150k, if you split. Fucking hell. No way. Your daughters will be losing out massively here.

Of course he wants to get on property ladder and have a big house. Ha.

You trust him now but his proposition is not fair and i bet he knows that. You will also be tied to him and fear of losing massive amount in separation will make you accept all sorts of bevahiours that might surface later. I bet he realises that too.

Do not do this. Get a professional advice on this and if he kicks off then you know what he’s after.

No, as PPs have said protecting your deposit isn’t enough.

You’re under reacting to his suggestion.

Absolutely this
He's after what he can get here, not adult enough to have anything to offer Op and his own child
Why oh why do women get lumbered with these men?
Pound to a penny Ops previous relationship was abusive and here we are ...

Given that you're already divorced then you know full well that relationships can go wrong.
Protect your deposit buy as T i C

No no no...Please please spend a few hundred to get some time with a lawyer...He has no capital (equity or savings) to put into a new property. You will own 99 % of the property because you have the equity and can get a mortgage. His 10k might not even give him 1 % tbh. He just about has money to contribute to fees. You cannot allow your children's security (or yours) to be thrown away like this. I can't for the life of me see why you would even offer tenants in common to a man who has zero mathematical or financial nouse (or is a lazy chancery) and has not been sufficiently capable at adulting to save any money/sort his own housing out.
Please please get some legal advice and protect your children's future

i utterly appreciate each and every one of your comments and I totally understand why you all are saying what you are. For clarity he did have a poor financial history prior to meeting hence no saving or property - he has in the last year since securing his contract saved paid off debts and brought a newish car outright - he supports his parents. He does contribute and pay more than his share of bills and expenses for the house - tenants in common with the percentage agreed is the best solution. I would probably still be able to buy him out if things didn't work out. Just for clarity I don't have concerns about his money after having full access to his ins and outs. He has no idea what I earn. He's not money orientated and I did suggest the ring fence and he said yes we need to see a solicitor etc. to his defence he did say he will save a year and then contribute that percentage wise but I have discussed moving sooner then his plan hence the discussion of how it would work. But for clarity I would never ever ever give my children's money to anyone even if my soul mate appeared (I dnt believe in soul mates).